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| Subject: MIESEN | |
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Author: Milo Milo |
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Date Posted: 22:22:21 08/13/05 Sat OKAY I have not blogged because I have been VERKLEMPT. The associate publisher at Warner who booked me for that first meet and greet NYC trip called. He invited me back to New York again to meet with more people and talk about my book with them and all that good stuff. I LOST MY MIND. I mean, I can’t really put in words what this means to me. But I shall try. I LOVE MY DEAR LITTLE BOOK SO MUCH, IT IS LIKE MY PRECIOUS FLUFFY DUCKLING. My ONLY BEST DUCKLING, and I AM SENDING INTO THE YANGTZE TO BE RUN DOWN BY PAGODA BOATS, and when stuff like this happens it’s like NOT having your duckling run down. It’s like having people, people who KNOW ALL ABOUT DUCKS, say, “Yes, this IS a very fine duckling indeed! Let us pet it and feed it on nutritious pellets!” I can not describe to you how it feels to have other people be nice to my duckling. *Weep* But it is very good. So anyway, he calls and tells me they want to bring me back again next week, and I immediately start babbling some sort of SOMETHING about how my mom in law is coming for a visit on Friday anyway, maybe she can stay longer and watch my kids so I can travel, except she is a church secretary, and what if she can’t get off work and also no one knows where HURRICANE IVAN is going to land so she may not come at all because she is in Florida in which case I would need my church friends to help me babysit BABBLE BABBLE BLAH BLAH BLAH. I was just SO EXCITED so of course I had to immediately channel SUPER-DORK. Eventually he gently interrupted my crazed ramblings and said, “So you want me to NOT push the button until you talk to your mother in law?” at which point – I quail to tell you this, really I do -- at which point, I said – and this is an EXACT QUOTE because believe me, BELIEVE ME these words are INDELIBLY printed on my cerebral cortex as one of the three stupidest things I have EVER SAID OUT LOUD IN PUBLIC and I am SO PLEASED ( <-- imagine these 2 words drenched in sarcasm) SO SO PLEASED (<-- also drenched) that I could say them to the very associate publisher at Warner Books who has SO GONE OUT OF HIS WAY to CHAMPION my book at every turn. Oh look, I digressed nine thousand degrees and managed to not tell you what I said to him. But I am going to. Brace yerself, Brigit. Him: So you want me to not push the button until you talk to your mother in law? Me: PUSH THE BUTTON! PUSH THE BUTTON! I DO NOT ONLY HAVE A MOTHER IN LAW! I HAVE A MOTHER! I HAVE WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS! Thank you. I will indeed be here all week. I will be the one with my head stuffed into the electric oven, waiting to starve to death. So then I called Scott and told him I was going back to NYC. Scott: That’s great but. Um. Does this mean more shoe shopping? Me: Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous. Scott: Oh good. Me: It’s SEPTEMBER. I must obviously now turn to shopping for BOOTS. Dear Boys, We are going to talk about clothes now. Avert your eyes. Love, Me SO I am going to be there three days and CLEARLY I must have boots. SO I went shopping for BOOTS and while in Ann Taylor I tripped and fell into a rack of clothes and got tangled up in this outfit. It LEAPT onto my body while I said ON NO OUTFIT! YOU MUST NOT! But it would not listen. And then once it was ON, well, what could I do? First of all, imagine this buttery soft demure little clingy pink twin set, paired with a short and flippy skirt in black and pink and caramel. The skirt pattern is kinda geometric 60’s retro funk, but I have to admit that a TWIN SWEATER SET of ANY SORT is very “PRESIDENT OF THE PTA” and if it is a baby-soft pink that is RELENTLESS in it’s pinky-poo-ness, there is ALMOST no saving it. However. It was saved. You have to imagine the twin set and skirt being worn with a pair of knee-high skin-tight high-heeled black leather pointy toed viciously SHARP cat woman sassy hot monkey love BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS. The twin set saves the boots from saying HOOKER and the boots keep the twin set from saying NUN and the kicky little skirt bridges the gap. OKAY BOYS, OLLY OLLY ALL COME FREE. Fashion over. Tomorrow I will talk about something manly and/or intellectual. OH I KNOW!!!!!!! Tomorrow we MUST discuss that guy on Jeopardy. Posted by joshilyn at September 15, 2004 04:07 PM [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |