No more slanderous -- Union Against Dave Ramblings

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Date Posted: 22:46:31 06/25/01 Mon
Author: PinBall
Subject: No more slanderous

Dear fellow Brothers

As you may have noticed in the past few months the UAD rambling have diminished. While I do welcome the relief from the slanderous remarks towards myself (The great pinball), I do miss the weekly updates. #4 has mentioned that he knows people are looking, just not leaving any words of wisdom behind. Come on make a comment, let us keep the union strong.
One suggestion that I was going to make is that a logon system be implemented to keep the enemy from making the ludicrous comments that they have been making in the past, but I believe that my personal threats towards those individuals have permanently scared them off. I am after all the great one, who in their right mind would ever think of crossing the path of a God er I mean Mohawk professor.
Some examples of the absurd remarks that you may have read in the past are

"The boy staggered away mumbling the last thing the Pinball had said to him��.
"Get the H out of my classroom !".
-everyone knows I simply yell "YOU...OUT!!!" so obviously this was a misquote and I doubt that the author that quoted me has ever stepped foot in the college.

Some more fine examples to prove the unrealistic and ridiculous misquotes that I've had to endure are
"for the first couple of minutes the pinball told us about what he did the night before. another night of crack cocaine and a low priced hooker along with best friends Jim Beam and Jack Daniels. a student raised his hand. he asked, is this on the test? everyone laughed, except the mighty pinball. i could have sworn that the pinball started to glow in the dark as his anger grew. he asked to see the student outside and took his into the sewer passageway. when he re-emerged the student had dyed blonde hair in a big wave and a prosthetic limb that i hadn't noticed before. and thats when it struck me.
as i looked more closely around the classroom as my eyes adjusted to the light i noticed several students with the same pinball look. the great pinball was contructing an army in his own likeness. every student who stepped out of line was dealt with in the pinball's own unique way. a quick frontal lobotomy, dye the hair, sever the limb and voila! another pinball is born. "

-crack cocaine...like I could afford that on a teachers salary.
-low priced hooker, hey if the price was low you know I would have had at least two, ha shows you what they know.
-jack daniels, ya like I would stray from the Crown, once again, a laughable attempt to blemish my character, ha I laugh in their faces.

"dyed blonde hair"
-I think they are confusing me with Bart, I've NEVER had dyed blonde hair in my life.
Oh by the way I saw Bart today, Mohawk is still giving him a hard time.

"sever the limb"
-hey accidents happen everyday, can't prove anything.

But the most laughable, amusing, comical, farcical, mirthful, absurd, and ridiculous (ya I found a thesaurus) example had to be
"that's right, Pinball arrived via the good old HSR. "

Like that would ever happen, I've never taken public transit nor will I ever, my cool sleek minivan will never let me down. Provided of course that the police don't impound it.
er,...not saying that they would have reason to.

So as I am also a member of the Dutch mafia I am confident that UAD will not be bothers by these hooligans again.

As a final note, I ask that we all take a moment to speak to our higher being for the safe return of our lost brother who is currently over seas, not because we care but mearly for the stories that boy is going to have.

PinBall

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