Lessons from the great pinball -- Union Against Dave Ramblings

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Date Posted: 22:49:08 06/26/01 Tue
Author: PinBall
Subject: Lessons from the great pinball

As the great pinball I feel it is my duty to verse my fellow brothers on the subject of relationships.
I am after all the greatest instructor that Mohawk has.

HOW AND WHY TO BE AN ASSHOLE

This is a little guide written by a former nice guy who just couldn't take being a nice guy anymore. What caused him to change? Why did he change? Why would you want to change?
Well if the obvious hasn't hit you in the head yet here it is. Nice guys finish last, dead last. Do you want to be dead last all the time? No!!! What is stopping you from changing, those dang morals? You're only hurting yourself and your girl friend. Let me explain, please read on.
Do you want your girl friend's friends to know that she is going out with someone who finishes last, no of course not. That would be very embarrassing for her, so do her a favour be someone she can be proud of, be an asshole.

Here are some examples

Say your girl friend wants to go out with some friends. A nice guy would let her go he understands the importance of her spending time with her friends, to build her self esteem and to develop her sense of self worth. He even lets her borrow his pick-up truck because she doesn't want her to be in any danger of walking the streets at night. She goes out and has a good time. How good a time the nice guy will never know. All he knows is that he sat at home because she had his truck and watched some TV. She gets home and goes straight to bed. After being home alone all night nice guy want to spend some "quality time" with her but she is too tired and goes to sleep. He doesn't realize until the next day that his truck now has a beautiful dent in the side.
An ass hole would do one of two things, one go with her or demand that she stay home with him. If he demanded that she stay home she would be attracted to his authority and spend the night fucking his brains out. The other alternative would be for him to go out with her friends. He would meet her friends, flirt with her friends let her friends know what an asshole she has and be someone she can be proud of. This would cause her to become not jealous but realize that she had something that other girls wanted. They would go home and she would make him her "king" with a night of totally intense passion.
So I think from this example it is pretty clear what your course of action should be. Do you want your truck to be low on gas have another cosmetic alteration, and for you to be frustrated since you can't physically show your burning love that you have toward your girl friend? Or do you want your girlfriend to realize what a great guy she has and to be able for her to show you that love in the most incredible way imaginable? The choice should be clear. Don't be dead last.

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