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Date Posted: 13:24:19 01/20/00 Thu
Author: Mr. Phule
Subject: [NSSWOTA] Delusions of Grandeur, part 3

Pre-story comments. Please read these...pretty please?

Ok...I haven't had very much time to write lately, so here's the deal.

Most of this came directly from one of the trailers I wrote way back when. I changed some stuff, but if you've read those, you'll recognize alot of this.

Also, since I've recently gotten into some trouble regarding copyright violations on this forum (anyone who wants to know about that can talk to me privately...it's actually kinda funny), I'll state now that the idea behind the Flenser is not my own, I got it from a guy named Pax about two years ago.

Furthermore, the basic plot of the next two parts to my story are taken largely from his introductotory stories of the Flenser. I've modified them heavily, but ya know...

Also...so far as I know, the only people who are reading these things are myself and HellHarpoon. What you must remember is that, as a writer, I have an ego. That ego needs boosting. If you like my stuff, let me know. More importantly, if you DON'T like it, speak up. I'm doing this as much for me as for you, and I can't get better if I don't know my weaknesses.

And, if you guys don't like readin' it, I just wont post it. I'll write it for myself, and it'll go rotten on my hard-drive somewhere. So a brief reply to let me know that you've read it would be highly appreciated.

So, to recap...

-The next two parts of my story are horribly un-origional...deal with it.

-People are stupid and yell at me for copyright issues of no importance

-Stroke my ego and post replies to my stories.

And, without further ado...I grant you...

Delusions of Grandeur
Part 3
Written by: Mr. Phule
Inspired by: Pax


Delusions of Grandeur, part 3

[Scene: Late that day, in Safe Haven HQ]

Mr. Phule: Alright, here’s the new plan. Emrys is going to lead a team to infiltrate a Blizzard outpost to retrieve any data on whatever it was that Blizzard had delivered today. The code name for this operation will be Cute Puppy.

All: Cute Puppy?

Mr. Phule: Sorry, all the good names were already taken. Emrys, is your team assembled?

Emrys: Yes indeed. To aide in scientific matters, we’ve got the ensign in the red shirt. For reconnaissance, I recruited the teenager who investigates the weird noises in the basement armed with nothing but a flashlight. For support, the Irvine Police Department sent us a pair of officers. An old cop three hours from retirement, and the rookie cop on his first big case. Finally, to round out the group with some heavy firepower, two marines from the Space Combat Air corp. And, of course, there’s me.

Mr. Phule: Sounds good. Now, we have this latest weapon here…it’s untested, but we’re pretty sure it will work. ::holds up a small metal sphere::

Emrys: ::Takes the sphere and examines it:: Neat…umm, what is it?

Mr. Phule: Careful with that. It’s a noise grenade. Press the button on the top, and you set the fuse. After that, you’ve got ten seconds to run like hell. It will play a mix of Hanson, Spice Girls, and Barney.

Emrys: ::nearly dropping the grenade:: But…these were banned by the Geneva Convention!

Mr. Phule: This is a desperate time, and requires desperate measures. It’s the only one we’ve got and we can’t make any more…use it wisely, and only if you’re in dire need.

Emrys: Understood.

Mr. Phule: Very well…HellHarpoon, have your scouts reported in yet?

HellHarpoon: I have scouts?

Mr. Phule: Yes, you sent them out to find a way for us to reach the Blizzard outpost, remember?

HellHarpoon: Isn’t that something the leader should do? Oh wait…I’M the leader, aren’t I? And I’ve got SCOUTS? Cool! This job just gets better and better!

Mr. Phule: Never mind. Emrys, try the sewer system….

HellHarpoon: Evuh’Hawk! Where are you! I’ve got another idea for you to write down!

::From somewhere far away, a voice is heard::

“Get away from meeeeeeeee!”

HellHarpoon: There you are! Come here! ::runs off::

Emrys: Uhh…right…sewer system. Gotcha. Well…we’re off. Come on, team!

[Scene: Sewer system, Emrys’ team is approaching the Blizzard outpost]

Ensign: Hold! There’s something moving around that corner!

::The team takes up position, then leaps around the corner, firing madly. After thirty seconds of nonstop fire, the team stops shooting and sees the remains of a very dead rat. Looking at each other sheepishly, they move on.::

[Scene: Elsewhere in the sewers]

>>>WARNING
>>>Weapon discharge detected
>>>Consulting protocols
>>>
>>>Safe Haven Presence….78% assume
>>>Blizzard weapon test…8%
>>>Disgruntled postal workers…8%
>>>Other….6%
>>>
>>>Assuming Safe Have presence
>>>
>>>Consulting Protocols
>>>
>>>Intercept and engage
>>>Attack sequence AA-54

[Scene: Back to the team….]

Ensign:: Ok, this is it. Up this ladder, we should have the data.

Emrys: Right, teenager, you first.

Teenager: Right, boss! ::Ascends the ladder:: All clear!

(HA! You thought he was gonna die, didn’t you…DIDN’T YOU? Rule, for ya…they never die the first time you expect them too….ha ha, I tricked you! :-P )

::The rest of the team ascends the ladder, finding themselves in a small room, with a single door. Emrys motions to the Marines, who kick it down. They burst into the other room, where a Blizzard employee sits at a computer.::

Blizzard Guy: What, hey! You can’t com….urk!

Marine #1: Sorry, were you sayin’ something? ::wipes off a now bloody knife::

Emrys: Ensign, the computer.

Ensign: ::sits at the computer, and starts typing:: Ah-ha! I’ve got it! ::grabs a CD out of the disk drive and hands it to Emrys:: Took it from the security camera logs. ::starts fiddling with the computer again::

Emrys: Excellent. Now let’s get out of here.

Ensign: Sir, wait! Look at this! ::points to a security monitor

Emrys: An unprotected copy of Diablo 2! Where is that?

Ensign: Not far. I can show you the way.

Emrys: We’re going for it. Teenager, you stay here. The rest of you come with me.

::The team all leaves, save the teenager::

>>>One target detected
>>>Threat rating: 2
>>>Initiating attack sequence B-32

::The teenager doesn’t even have time to scream, and the Flenser leaves again. Moments later, Emrys and company return, with the prized Diablo 2 CD::

Emrys: Where’d he go? Oh well…come on, we gotta get out of here.

::As the team leaves, camera pans around until it can see under the computer desk revealing the broken body of the teenager.::

[Scene: Sewers]

Ensign: There’s something behind us!

Emrys: What is it? Teenager, is that you?

>>>Targets acquired
>>>Threat ratings: 3 22 6 3 16 16
>>>Initiating attack sequence A-44x
>>>Warning: incoming fire
>>>Running evasive

::The Flenser fires several shots of super heated plasma, reducing the Ensign to cinders. The police officers and the marines open fire, and the Flenser dives down::

>>>Target 1 eliminated
>>>Targets 3 4 5 6 attacking
>>>Initiate attack sequence D7-43

::Moments later, the Flenser jumps up, a casual backhand sends the rookie cop against the wall with a sickening crunch. Moments later the Veteran cop is sliced to ribbons by the sharp blades::

Emrys: What is that thing? Get the hell out of here! ::starts running::

>>>Incoming command phrase
>>>”What is that thing? Get the hell out of here!
>>>Invalid command phrase…disregard
>>>Targets 3 4 eliminated
>>>Target 2 opening range
>>>Targets 5 6 attacking

Emrys: Are you nuts? Get out of here! ::ducks a shot of plasma, which explodes behind him, sending him crashing into the ground. He gets up and starts running:: Wait! I dropped the Diablo 2 CD! Go back and get it!

Marine #1: It’s not worth it, sir!

Emrys: NOT WORTH IT! This is Diablo 2! Go get it!

Marine #2: Right, we’re on it.

Marine #1: Come here, you hunk of metal.

Marine #2: You want a piece of me?

::The marines open fire, hitting the Flenser several times, but doing no damage. In reply, the Flenser lets loose a volley of plasma. One marine dodges, but the other is caught in the blast and dies instantly. The surviving marine gropes through his pack, pulling out a small syringe. Hurriedly, he jabs it into his neck and injects the contents.

Marine #1: Ooh, yea ::draws his combat knife:: I’m feeling that.

>>>Target 6 eliminated
>>>Target 5 attacking
>>>Target 2 still opening range
>>>
>>>Warning, threat rating on 5 changed
>>>Threat rating now 21
>>>Suspected cause…Bio-Neural Stimulant
>>>
>>>Consulting Protocols
>>>Initiating attack sequence BX-5

::The Flenser charges with blades extended. It swipes in attack, but the marine swiftly dodges the first and brings up the knife to block as the second blade sweeps in at a deadly angle. The blades meet, and the marine is able to deflect the blow that would have removed his head. Unfortunately, the Flenser turns, and swipes again. The marine attempts to block, but the blade crushes the frail knife, and moments later the marine lies dead::

Emrys: ::hearing the scream of the last marine:: Wow…that thing is TOUGH. ::grabs the noise grenade, pushed the button, and throws it down the sewer tunnel. Behind him, he can hear the crashing of the Flenser::

Emrys: Damn! It didn’t work…ok, I know I’ve got a spatula for this…. ::starts fumbling for a spatula::

>>>Incoming command phrase
>>>”Damn! It didn’t work. Ok, I know I’ve got a spatula for this.”
>>>Invalid command phrase…disregard
>>>Reassign Target values
>>>Targets reassigned.
>>>1 Target Detected
>>>Threat rating: 22
>>>Initiating attack sequence B4-54x

::As he reaches the sewer exit ladder, Emrys can hear the Flenser racing behind him. Knowing he has no more time, he grabs his Spatula of Fireball and turns around, as the Flenser leaps at him::

Emrys: Spatula…ACTIVATION!

::Instead of casting a fireball, the Spatula suddenly grows in size. The flat end strikes the Flenser in the torso, as the other end strikes the ground. Emrys’ skill with the spatula is such that he does not let go and instead pivots the spatula on the ground. The result is that the Flenser is flung through the air, crashing to the ground fifty feet away from Emrys, who drops the spatula which is now fifteen feet long, and scrambles up the ladder as the Flenser again races towards him::

::Just before the Flenser reaches him, the sewer explodes with noise, throwing the Flenser back. Emrys, realizing that the noise grenade has just gone off, is thrown by the blast through the manhole and into the air. He lands fifty feet away from the manhole, and immediately lays very still::

>>>Scanning for target
>>>Target Acquired
>>>Initiating attack sequence A-45
>>>Negative Attack
>>>Conflict with Protocols
>>>Mission Parameters
>>> 1. Locate and Destroy Safe Haven
>>> 2. Locate and Destroy Order of Shining Harpoon
>>> 3. Find Lab Coat Guy a Donut
>>> 4. ***Classified mission parameter***
>>>Conflict with mission parameter 4
>>>Consulting Protocols
>>>Return to Base
>>>Executing Protocols


::Looking towards the manhole, he sees the Flenser jump up, and look around. After a while, the Flenser turns, and speeds away. Emrys lets out a huge sigh as he takes out the surveillance CD::

Emrys: I hope this was worth the price. Too bad we lost the Diablo 2 CD ::gets up and begins running back to Safe Haven HQ::

[Scene: Blizzard HQ. HP and GFraizer watch as the battle between the Flenser and Safe Haven unfolds. On the screen, they watch as the Flenser leaves. Moments later, they see a member of Safe Haven, wearing goggles and a large cape, getting up. Dusting himself off, he begins to run in the opposite direction the Flenser had gone::

HP: All in all, a superb test.

GFraizer: Yes, sir, although I don’t understand why it let the last one live.

HP: Because I wanted him to escape.

GFraizer: But why?

HP: Simple. If the entire team had been destroyed, they simply would have sent more and more to investigate. This way, they know exactly what they are up against. They wont dare make a move now.

GFraizer: But sir! They got away with top secret camera footage! And they nearly got a copy of Diablo 2!

HP: Correction, they got away with carefully edited camera footage. There is nothing of importance on that CD. Quite the opposite, most of what they see is likely to mislead them. As for the Diablo 2 CD, it was a fake, containing a homing device. It’s a shame he dropped it. That CD would have led us directly to their base.

GFraizer: You knew they would try something?

HP: Of course. I have everything well under control. Soon, these noisome rebels will be defeated. You have nothing to worry about.

[To Be Continued…]

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