| Subject: I am so confused about the effects |
Author:
Nikki
|
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 10:21:12 12/16/08 Tue
I am new to this site and was happy to find it. My story is long (going on five years now)but I'll try to keep it short. I was married for 11 years to a wonderful man. He had alot of stress on him do to various reasons and he decided to do meth (it helped keep him going). Needless to say it was not a good choice to make. I guess it can effect everyone differently but he becomes what I can only describe as "schizophrenic" when he does meth. I seem to be his target (not sure why). He accused me of having an affair with his best friend then accused me of sleeping with all sorts of law enforcement officers and of course I was having them "watch him" and was trying to put him away. None of any that was ever true. I am probably the most loyal person on this planet, to my own default. He decided he needed to divorce me asap and did so. He broke my heart. He quit doing meth for a long period of time. Although even though he quit, he still believed the crazy things he accused me of and swears to things he "saw" during our divorce. We have children together but somehow luckily we have managed, or I have managed to shield them from this. He called me several months ago freaking out. I always come to his rescue. Sure enough he had done meth again and he was in his "schizo mode". Sat with him through that process. I have loved him with all of my heart even with eveything we have been through. He told me after that episode that he had truly learned his lesson, he wanted his family back and no more drugs for him. We started working on our relationship (I wouldn't just move back with him, probably the only smart choice I have made). Several months into that process, he does it again, about a week before Thanksgiving. This time beat all others. I left him at his home freaking out about little creatures coming through the windows and all the law that was going to barge in at any moment. I called my cousin who happens to work for him (yes, he somehow manages to have a very successful business of his own) and told him what was going on and could he check on him. This went on for three days (not exaggerating). His throat was almost swelling shut (he said he could breathe through his nose). My cousin left and I told him I would check on him when I got off from work. We couldn't figure out why it was lasting so long. When I got there he was locked out of the house, it was freezing out and I couldn't leave him. He had not slept in 3 days. I called my cousin to come back and help me get him in the house. This time I was covering myself, I wanted someone else there, he wasn't going to blame me for outlandish things again. Anyway I somehow got him to an emergency room and they took him to a mental hospital with a drug and alcohol unit. The reason his "high" was so long was because he apparently sniffed a line and then started freaking out thinking law enforcement was after him and swallowed 3 grams baggie and all. To be honest I'm not sure what that means because I have never done the drug, but it can't be good. He was in the hospital for 5 days. I was there for him just like always. I don't think I know how not to be. Again he has seen the light, wants his family back (oh yea he admitted to me in the hospital that he hadn't been faithful to me), this time will be different. It wasn't a week after being out of the hospital, I was to blame again. It's my own fault for allowing him to do this to me. I have noticed since being out of the hospital he can change his mind from one minute to the next. They did put him on medication but of course he doesn't take it. The meds they put him on is prescribed to people with bi-polar and schizophrenia. I'm not sure if they think he has one of those disorders or if it's due to the way he acts when he's on meth. The assessment person did tell me that he doesn't have an every day addiction, he does it when he gets really stressed every blu moon. But it's still an addiction. I feel like I have told my whole life story. I really needed to get it off my chest. I don't talk about all of this to anyone because we live in a very small town and he has a business. I always seem to protect him, but I have begun noticing that he doesn't do the same for me. So hopefully that means that I am finally learning to cure my own addiction which seems to be him.
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
| |
Feedback: 