Re: Quarto Three -- The Word

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Date Posted: 00:52:37 03/21/03 Fri
Author: MaAS
Author Host/IP: pcp520609pcs.nash01.tn.comcast.net / 68.53.135.141
Subject: Re: Quarto Three
In reply to: Ihcuiltli ("the writer" in Nahuatl ... heh heh) 's message, "Quarto Three" on 21:27:06 02/18/03 Tue

Okay, I'll try to give you as solid/useful an answer as I can. I know I should have done this sooner, but work critiques are never something to be taken lightly.
First off - The characters. My reaction is that they're NOT at all cardboard cut-outs. They strike me as fun and interesting, so I'm definitely enjoying them. I think you've got solid characters there, but admittadly, I think I'd like to have a better chance for some of the ones that are in the background to grow distinct. Like Frank and Jeff were pretty much just a couple of bums in the background until Soshi had dinner with Jeff, and I could really put some distinct characteristics on them. Still looking forward to that shopping date with Akiko.
As for the amount of information we're giving, I'd say that some of the background for both the characters and the world (that you take care of in the extras) are still a bit vague. The origin of the canine's is still sort of up in the air for me. I also think there's several aspects of the characters that I'm wondering about that will be made clear later. *shrug* You've focused pretty much on Soshi, with only a few chance to really explore other characters. But you've definitely done well for the main character. ;)Getting back to the part about the amount of information we're recieving, after some thought, I think it's running pretty well. Every story brings the world a little clearer. Admittadly, in the beginning the setting was a little confusing for me. I'm just wondering if there are some givens you know that the rest of us might be picking up. But I can't really bring up any clear examples, so I'll just keep reading and commenting, and trying to say something useful every once in a while.
I also noticed that you're now running approxamately three plots at once. Soshi teaching Harim, Soshi learning about her other mage-self, and Soshi finding the truth of her past. Honestly, I'm surprised you're managing to keep all of them as well balanced as you are. None of them really stand out, though, so if there was one that was more important than the other two, you might want to emphasise it a bit more. If you're simply trying to deliver to us "Chunk o' Soshi's Life" then you're doing it perfect.
Anyway, I hope there was something useful in all that.

Later.

And thanks for linking my site. As soon as the Links page goes up, I'll return the favor.

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Replies:

Re: Quarto Three -- Ihcuiltli, 02:30:36 03/23/03 Sun