| Subject: Guys I've been telling Heath that he could do it for so long..... |
Author:
Alex N
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Date Posted: 17:02:21 05/06/02 Mon
In reply to:
Dwayne
's message, "A post I'd like to share..." on 13:52:35 05/01/02 Wed
He has been my number one fan on My story and he wrote some really good stuff trying to get me motivated to write the third book, which I am going to ask him to co-write....check this out...
BROKEN FACADES: Homecomming
Prologue – The Promise…and The Curse
Today began just like any other day…I got up around 6:00 to get ready for work, settling into my regular routine of work-eat-work-eat-sleep-work that I’ve gotten used to over the past six years. As I passed my son’s bedroom, I noticed the door was open, but he was gone. I wasn’t too surprised…Jeremy (he likes to go by “J.T.”) usually was up early to go out and ride on his 10-speed. During the summer, it was easy for him to do that and not worry about darkness. Then again, he was never one to worry about that. I, however, did enough for both of us.
Anyway, about 25 minutes later, freshly showered and dressed, I stumbled out of the bathroom just as the phone rang. Great, I groaned…what does the boss want now? Little did I know just what awaited me.
“Hello?”
“Hi Mitch, this is Harold from the office…how are you this morning?”
“Okay…” I lied, “What’s going on?”
“Well, let me cut to the chase…” Uh-oh…. “The VP of Southeast Operations at our Deerfield plant just quit. Found out about it just five minutes ago.”
“Wow…it had to have been something really big for him to do that.”
“I don’t know…and my boss really didn’t have too much to say about the reason or reasons behind it. All I DO know is that the Deerfield plant REALLY needs a replacement…and fast. With your work record and your schooling, I think you would be a great help to them, so I put your name on the list of candidates.”
My jaw hit the floor as he said that. I was at first shocked that he would so quickly recommend me for such a job. I never thought I was that good…and it was a fairly prestigious position in the company. THEN…I got scared. I KNEW what moving to Deerfield would mean…and I wanted no part of it.
“Sir, I really don’t think I’m the guy you’re looking for…I mean…”
“Mitch, don’t be so modest. You are severely underused here in Flagstaff and you need the chance to flex your business muscles more…this is the PERFECT opportunity!”
Oh, GOD…not again! I was happy with my position…hell, I LOVED being a desk worker in the company. No one bothered me, no one expected too much of me, and I did everything I could to make sure I stayed right where I was. I started to dig in my heels immediately.
“Do you have any idea what Deerfield is all about? There’s NOTHING there…NOTHING!”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Mitch…it’s one of the safest places in the country to live, and the cultural life in the town has exploded in the past few years. It’s one of the most exciting developing cities out there!”
“But…”
“Plus the job has all sorts of perks that you’ll never see in the job you have now…”
“Sir, please…”
“…and the school system is the top-ranked public system in the country. Did you know that they also have a legendary football program?”
My blood boiled at that remark. He could have never known…how dare he insinuate…
God, so many things whipped through my head as I argued with my boss. For every thing he pointed out that could be tempting, I fought off every single idea. We must have gone on like this for several minutes arguing over this job.
Then, he decided to play hardball on me. “I’ve heard enough of your bitching, Mister…I didn’t want to say this, but you leave me no choice. Either you keep yourself on the list or you don’t come back in to work.”
My stomach sank. “WHAT?!?” I was so in shock that I couldn’t say anything for a few seconds. He continued, his voice softening a little.
“Mitch, I have no idea what you’re going through as far as your life, but it’s unfortunately showing in your output. I don’t know if it’s because the work has become too easy for you or if you’re getting tired of the same routine, but when I walk past your desk and your mind seems someplace else, I have to wonder…”
Truthfully, I couldn’t really argue that point. When I think about it now, I really was getting tired of the work I was doing. Maybe it was my stubborn pride, but I just didn’t want to believe that I had slumped so much. Resignedly, I sighed. “Understood, sir.”
“I hate the idea of firing you, Mitch…but there’s not many choices I have left. You’re so much more talented than your job allows you to be, so when I got news of this opening, I took the liberty of jumping in on your behalf. I can’t trust you in your current position, and I hope I’m right in assuming that this change will do you good. So, will you take me up on your offer?”
Before I could give my answer, my son bounded in from his bike ride. His shirt was slung over his right shoulder, putting his rapidly developing chest in full view. The spandex material of his biking shorts were soaked with sweat, and the muscles in his legs tensed as he attempted to walk on the racing shoes he wore (who looks graceful on solid ground with those things on, anyway?). I wiped the angst off my face before he caught sight of me.
“Hi Dad!” He wheezed slightly from the workout that ended just seconds ago. “Who’s on the phone?”
“My boss…” I whispered, “I’ll explain when I finish the call.”
“Okay…*pant* I’ll be in the kitchen.”
Sheesh, I thought, these darn kids never stop eating.
I had an epiphany at that moment. Wait…what about my son…what could HE gain from this move?
My son has been my sole reason for living since he was 8 years old. For the later years of his childhood, I’d always put my son’s needs before my own. In a strange way, it was by doing this that I stopped myself from making one of the biggest mistakes in my life…and it was almost too late when I found out just HOW big it was.
My wife and I had a rocky marriage from the start. We had always chalked it up to something other than the true problem…I simply wasn’t in love with her. Like all of the other troubles in my life, I had run from them. I willingly gave up my career in sports, my family, all the friends I ever had, and the one true love of my life…all because I was afraid for some reason. I was ready to do the same in this marriage…just leave everything behind and never look back. The day I was packing my stuff up to leave, something happened to me that made me completely change my way of thinking.
My son sulked into the bedroom, with the biggest tears I’ve ever seen falling from his eyes. I went to him and said soothingly, “Hey, son…why are you crying?”
“You’re leaving…” was all he could choke out.
“It’s better this way, son…I’m not happy here and I would just make you sadder if I stayed.” I tried to be cool and rational on the outside, but my emotions betrayed me. What my son said next stopped me cold:
“Daddy…why don’t you want me anymore?”
He was on the verge of breaking down, and the fear and anguish in his voice cut through me. WHY didn’t I want him…my son? My flesh and blood? Why am I running from him?
That did it. I collapsed onto the bed in a heap, sobbing like I had only one other time in my life…and that was the day after I ran away from Heath in New York City. For the first time in my life, it felt that I was killing a part of me by leaving my son. I couldn’t handle it. I lost consciousness in the waves of pain that flooded over me.
When I woke up, my son was curled up beside me, fast asleep.
I made a decision at very moment. I had been running all my life…all too willing to burn all my bridges for the sake of …whatever. In looking at my son, I saw my pain on his face. God, I thought, what have I been doing to him? What was I really running from? And at that moment, as I brushed his hair back with my hand, I made a solemn promise to myself…”Son, no matter what happens, from this point forward, I will NEVER run away from you. You mean more to me than absolutely ANYTHING else I’ve ever had. If I ever left you, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I need you in my life, Jeremy. And I promise you, that until the day I die, NOTHING will ever separate us. I will always be here for you…I will fight for you if I have to…and you will ALWAYS be the first thought in my dreams, in my days, and in my life. I love you, Jeremy…and I will NEVER leave you.”
In the six years that followed, I have never wavered from my promise. I have been supportive of whatever JT decided to do. However he wanted to live his life, I would support 100%…and he excelled at everything he did. EVERYTHING. Strangely enough, he has also saved me more times than he could ever comprehend. As I would do absolutely anything for him, he has been just as willing to do anything for me. He has come to my rescue whenever I had one of my bouts of depression, and is actually the one who finally got me to go to a doctor and get treated for my depression. I KNEW that if I chickened out on this move, I would never be able to look my son in the eye without feeling like I had let him down. I had to do this…if not for me, then for him. It was the least he deserved.
“Sure…” I said into the receiver, “When would they like to see me?”
I got the rest of the information about the job and booked my time for the interview. I then called my travel agent to book a flight to Deerfield. “Hey, J.T.!” I yelled into the kitchen as I hung up the phone.
“Yuuuh…im eerr ‘aad” came the muffled response. I rolled my eyes…’I thought I taught that kid not to eat with his mouth full!’
“Come in the living room…I have something to tell you.”
He walked out…a huge bowl of cereal in one hand, a large spoon in the other, and only-God-knows-how-much cereal crammed into his mouth. ‘God…he’s worse than I thought,’ I chuckled to myself.
“I’ll wait until you can breathe through your mouth again.”
He just grinned in response. “Faw’ee,” he apologized before taking a big gulp and downing most of the contents of his mouth. “What’s up, Dad?”
“Have a seat,” I offered. He immediately scooted down onto the sofa and set his “meal” on top of a magazine on the coffee table. Thank God I at least taught him SOME manners!
“I just got off the phone with my boss…and he had some news for me…” I hesitated a bit, not knowing how he was going to react to what I had to say next.
I think he sensed my reluctance – he never was a patient one when it came to conversation. “And…?”
“And…he wants me to take a new position…in a new town.”
My son didn’t even bat an eye. “Oh…that’s all? “ he asked. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the quickness of his response.
“You sound as though you aren’t too upset about this.”
“Well…I know this might sound weird, but…I actually’ve been wanting to get out of this town for a while, y’know. Hasn’t been real friendly to me the past year or so.”
I had to nod in agreement. My son had a very rough time over the last year. Between accusations of his sexuality and the fights he had gotten into as a result of the harassment of him by his junior high classmates, he wasn’t exactly crazy about the idea of starting high school in this town.
I never told him that I knew personally of a similar situation…but when he told me what happened, I cringed. For me, it was history repeating itself…and it brought back many painful memories. I remember how difficult it was for me growing up…everything that I went through and all of the “what if’s” and “I should have’s” that had become my mantra in my later years. I was determined to not have my son go through that same painful experience.
“I mean…I’d be lying if I said that I wouÿ
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