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Date Posted: 15:21:13 01/08/01 Mon
Author: Dreamcatcher
Subject: Re: Open with care
In reply to: Raphaela 's message, "Re: Open with care" on 10:15:39 01/07/01 Sun


Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts
on my poem.
The practice of placing a repeated word in a poem
is a common one, albeit more often at the start of
a line or phrase.
I like the abruptness of the word "no" and chose to
have this alternate line repetition within the first
sentence to reinforce its use.
I then placed it in the second line of the second
sentence, to reiterate the absences portrayed in the first.

Having "behind the grey and misty walls" follow this,
and also conclude the sentence, allows a brief caesura,
which then has contrast, with the final sentence leaning
towards a more positive outlook.

I have given this some thought and must conclude that
the wording of this piece feels right to me.


Thanks for your time.

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