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Date Posted: 21/12/09 1:07:40pm
Author: Peter Eveleigh
Subject: Bugbrooke's mindset made a personal relationship with God impossible
In reply to: Same Old Story 's message, "Re: cast not your pearls before swine" on 21/12/09 10:16:34am


>
>You come across as someone who knows God..not a Noel
>Stanton substitute.
>
>My experience meeting people from the JA in the 90's
>was they didn't really know God at all! I'm not saying
>they were not very dedicated...but they were
>brainwashed by what your old leader and co were coming
>out with..well in my view and experience it was.


For anyone in the JA it would come across as an absurdity to say they didn't know God....and it would be very hard to admit to even if they knew it...but I do remember that my first loyalty didn't feel like it was to God, as such (though I would have said so), but to the fellowship. I would never say we were brainwashed (because that always implies an abdication of personal responsibility) but I do think that we were tied into a belief system which tied us to whatever Noel told us was true. Anything your conscience told you was true, but which the community said was wrong, you had to change.

I remember tortured days trying to change my own thought patterns in order to convince myself that I was wrong so that I could fit in with what I was told was true.

In such circumstances, I don't think I could possibly have heard God.

I think the structure and mindset of Bugbrooke made it impossible to have a personal relationship with God, not least of all because being alone was frowned upon and independence was anathema. You really had little time to think by by yourself...and anything you thought had to be "checked out".

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