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Date Posted: 22:40:29 11/29/02 Fri
Author: oboemaboe
Subject: Constructive criticism
In reply to: JM 's message, "Letter to the Not Editor" on 16:55:14 11/29/02 Fri

I appreciate your taking action to promote Firefly. Now, my reactions, for what they're worth*:

Get rid of the first and last paragraphs entirely. Make the whole thing at least a third shorter. Lose the section titles.

The plural of "genre" is "genres." The plural of "genus" is "genera." Take the hyphen out of hilarious. Change "Self-ironically aware" to "ironically self-aware." "Lades" means to burden or load oppressively, which contradicts "riveting." Don't pick words out of the thesaurus if you barely understand their meaning.

In what episode did the crew smuggle drugs? Medical supplies, yes, but I don't remember any drugs.

The 3rd Rock stuff is a needless distraction, unless you know that Mr. Roush is especially fond of that show.

The sf/western mix is worth mentioning, but can you find a way to condense that section to a single paragraph? Since Roush likes Angel, I'd keep the Buffy/Angel connection, but condense it to a single introductory clause, something along the lines of, "Continuing the genre-subverting tradition of Buffy and Angel, Firefly...."

Unless you know that Mr. Roush has a penchant for that sort of thing, I'd lose some of the foppish "literary theory" and stick more to describing the show in concrete terms. Nobody cares about tragic mulattas (I beg you to drop that entirely and just say, "The black female second in command is a dangerous and serious, and apparently unconflicted, warrior.") and quintessential discourses. Nowhere in your letter do you convey just how much *fun* Firefly is. Talk about tangible things like the handheld cameras creating an intimate feel, the infectious theme song, the side-splitting humor (I mean this literally, after watching Shindig again yesterday.). Or mention the unique things that you won't see anywhere else. On what other show do they curse in Chinese? On what other show is a main character a half-psychotic who names all his guns? The Serenity feels like a real place, because it is an actual, self-enclosed ship, not a collection of three-walled sets. Isn't that a first for television?

This will not score you points with the cognoscenti, but it is what will draw real people to the show. Dispensing with academic twaddle is not the same as dumbing down, since it is an intelligent show and can be written about intelligently.

The character descriptions are ok; the discussion of moral ambiguity is the part I like best.

Does "given positive attention" mean Roush has actually seen the show? If not, is there a way to mail him a tape of, say, Out of Gas or Ariel, or can TV critics just snap their fingers and have any episode they want appear?


Best of luck,
oboemaboe


*Just so we're clear, I don't mean to be harsh, as I have no interest at all in you or your posts, and would never nitpick a post like this if it weren't being sent to a well-known critic who might be able to influence a large audience.

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