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Date Posted: 10:46:30 11/16/02 Sat
Author: Cactus Watcher
Subject: CW's Writer's Journal for "Ariel"

The title of the episode and the name of the planet Serenity visits is Ariel. - Ariel was the name of one of the two nonhumans in Shakespeare’s play The Tempest . I’m a little ‘shaky’ on Shakespeare, but as I recall, Ariel was the dutiful spirit who complained about its lot, but did its duty anyway and was rewarded. I can’t really say this fits anyone in the story. But, I would agree that Jayne is more than a little the other ‘spirit’ in The Tempest Calliban. Calliban was cursed from birth, and seemed doomed to do wrong in the end. What good comes from him is accidental and even comical.

Game of the week - This week Inara and Kaylee beginning the episode playing another new game. I couldn’t quite make out what they were holding in their hands, either playing cards or similar sized black tiles. On the table was a white mah-jongg set, that was also part of the game. This game looked complicated.

Book got off at some Abbey - Inara soon leaves to take a physical. ME is handling character management fairly well. The stories aren’t becoming overloaded with stray characters who have to be there to say something, just because.

River the slasher - I watched this again fairly carefully. The first time I was so intent on expecting Jayne to say something really horrible about either Simon or River that it was no surprise that River would want to cut him. But, it’s just a good use of what’s come before in other episodes and the previously-ons. Jayne doesn’t actually say anything that terrible this time until after he gets cut. It is pretty much out of the blue, even though we, the audience, sympathize with River. Any thoughts about what “He looks better in red means?”

“They’re part of my crew. No one’s gettin’ left. Best you get used to that.” - Mal says this when Jayne makes threats to get River and Simon off the ship. I bet most of us forgot this speech when the ‘back door’ was open at the end of the show. He as much as said what would happen. But, there is no question already in the overall story that when Mal actually gives orders, his crew should listen. He is one dangerous man when crossed.

Mal and Simon - “She’s getting worse, isn’t she?” “Yes.” This is one of those ‘Well, duh” moments a writer can’t avoid. It has to be said. But, once it’s said it sounds redundant.

Kaylee and Inara - “What’s the Companion policy on dating?” “It’s complicated.” That figures.” A little bit of dialog opens a whole new dimension of Inara’s life for us to think about.

High security at the hospital. - Begs the question why. We live in a time when security is on everyone’s mind, but speaking from experience, it’s not a normal state. Clearly the problems and the worries of the Alliance’s civil war haven’t gone away. By comparison the security in the old USSR police state was both more intense and more sloppy than what Firefly is showing. What’s on the show is not at all unrealistic.

“St. Lucie’s hospital contracts with a local municipal dump yard…” - It’s just exposition for how the story gets to the next step. But, did anyone else get the feeling that Simon had been there before?

Mal before they get started - “Am I gonna have a problem with you and Simon?” Both foreshadowing what happens and an implied warning to Jayne.

Jayne - “Don’t worry about me. As long as I get paid I’m happy.” All too true.

Wicked-looking ambulance - Looks like a small bomber to me. I don’t know how Wash and Kaylee got it going so fast (no more than a day according to Inara’s time schedule), but I’m not complaining. If they had room for it in Serenity, they should have taken it with them, it’s probably worth more than all the medicine they stole if they could find a buyer. And no one would miss it.

Dull needle - No writing problem here, just a minor direction flub. When the nurse gives you a shot the depression of the skin around the point needle is fairly small because the needle is sharp. Fillion presses a little too hard when Mal is giving the shots to Simon and River showing the ‘needle’ is completely dull. I guess no one has shown him the trick of covering the point of the needle with your thumb, so viewers can’t tell it’s not going in.

Alliance commander answers the phone - “Ni hau.” - ‘Hello’ happens to be one of the few bits of Chinese I already know. If ME writers could be judicious all the time like Molina was most of the time in this episode, we could all learn a little Chinese, and not be in a constant fog.

“Copper for a kiss.” - An interesting thing for River to wake up saying especially to Jayne. Any thought on a deeper meaning, anyone?

River - “He’s not going to help him right.” River gets spooky again. As with Drusilla, on Buffy, someone else needs to figure out what she’s saying to make it valuable.

Trouble with the door lock at the pharmacy storage room. I didn’t quite get that the doctor was in the container. I couldn’t follow what was happening when they opened the door the first time I watched. It was either too fast or the camera angle on the doctor in the container didn’t quite work for me. In fact, I was surprised when they opened up the container in the room and dumped the doctor out.

Above River appears the reversed words - Holoimager, plus a model designation. - Is this advertising or does the recording keep track of the model for a reason? I think either is possible. I missed realizing that when Jayne distracted Simon and River’s holoimage ™ started turning colors, it meant she was waking up. Nobody’s fault, but mine. It was well done. Any ideas on why she woke up? Simon clearly wanted to do more tests, and presumably thought she‘d be under longer.

“They come out of the … They come when you call.” Can’t make out River’s word in the first sentence. Was it in Chinese? Kind of a strange moment for that.

Simon doesn’t notice that Jayne must have seen the marshals when he opened the atrium door. - I love the ‘We care’ sign, they see passing through that door.

“Not like I was trying my hardest for you.” - Jayne hints to Simon, he wasn’t being straight with him during the arrest.

The fight - One of the most realistic desperate fights I’ve seen on the screen, big or small; bloody and messy and not at all TV-like.

Killing those who know too much - The method, of course, steals an idea from the movie Men in Black. Also see the end of this post.

Unlocking the handcuffs - The keycard is clumsy with something that small. Designers of real locks might want to take note.

Jayne hearing the screams of the dying. - “What the hell is that?” - Indeed. Being this evil and being sloppy doesn’t really mix. The scene works great in the flow of the story, but if you think about it, there would be far too many witnesses that know something awful had happened. In the old USSR people were arrested and disappeared, but not killed outright anywhere near where other ‘law-abiding’ people might hear, etc.

Immobilizing blaster does nothing to the door - Good point. Plus, after the door opens, Mal’s shrug and head move were perfect.

The wrench - unlike the earlier fight, we’re back to TV-like convenience of knocking out people without risking killing them, and with having them wake up on cue. It’s needed for the story, but considering what preceded it, it’s a little awkward. Maybe they could have taken that blaster with them instead?

Jayne and Mal - “What are you going to tell the others?” “About what?” “About why I’m dead.” All too real. Jayne is far more interested in what people think of him, than in doing the right thing in the first place. Very true to character, and it’s why Jayne is a fine character, I could never really like.

River and Simon - “Time to go to sleep, again.” “No, mei mei. It’s time to wake up.” If they would just use Chinese only for swearing and endearments like this we’d all catch on a lot quicker.

Killing those who know too much. _- This also occurred in the Joe Doe that followed Firefly last night. I still think John Doe has better writing and acting. But, that story is limited. The great thing about ME is that everything moves the story forward. In Ariel, I felt the killings were telling me something new. In John Doe, I felt like I was just being jerked around, and that there is no more story except that John’s previous life will always be mysterious. Back decades ago when Richard Jansen’s “The Fugitive” TV series started, I watched religiously. But, after a year and a half, I realized there was no more story except keeping the mystery alive, so I quit watching, until the final episode came around. I’ve hit that point with John Doe. It’s fun enough to watch, but my mind wanders, while it’s on. I’d just as soon do other things. I won’t watch it much anymore. On the other hand, Firefly feels like it’s finally getting started into deeper territory. I can’t wait till new eps start again

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