Re: and here is more Eleanor -- Derwent Paranormal Investigators

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Subject: Re: and here is more Eleanor

Author:
Eleanor

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Date Posted: 21/12/02 22:42:10
Author Host/IP: webcacheB12a.cache.pol.co.uk/195.92.168.174
In reply to: John 's message, "and here is more Eleanor" on 21/12/02 10:15:33

>Are black holes REALLY where God divided by zero?
But surely dividing by zero gives an infinite answer where as multiplying by zero gives an answer of nothing. (See I�m not just a pretty face)
>Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
This program has performed an illegal operation and will shut down.
>Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Ah, another burning question!
>Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
No, they bathe themselves in moonlight.
>Can you imagine a world without any hypothetical
>questions?
Theoretically it might work
>Why do they call it evaporated milk if it�s still
>there when you open the can?
I thought it came from evaporated cows but I�m not sure, can I have an udder question please?
>Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your
>lips?
If you use a lipstick for lips, what do you use a chapstick for?
>Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
If they performed the �flight of the bumblebee� on a roof would they be a lightening conductor
>Does killing time damage eternity?
Yes, but not forever.
>If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
They are. They just don�t realise it!
>Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
I�ve never seen a �glue stick� in a bottle!
>What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses
>of bald men?
I don�t know I�ll have to ask Chris
I feel a final warning coming on here Mr Sutton (CT)
>If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking
>lots?
It�s somewhere to leave the kids?
>If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get
>mistletoe?
No, they get a shuttlecock
>If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come
>from?
Mothercare?
>Ballerinas are always on their toes. Why don't they
>just get taller ballerinas?
Their tutus would be to to short.
>If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon
>on the pan?
Since nothing sticks to Teflon, perhaps they use nothing!
>What's another word for thesaurus?
No! �What� is another word for pardon.
>Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
It�s somewhere to put their feet after impact!
>Why is abbreviation such a long word?
After Bothering Bookworms Researching Every Variation Imaginable, Abbreviation Truncates inscriptions Over Notated.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: and here is more Eleanor	John	21/12/02 23:44:59
Re: and here is more Eleanor -- Eleanor, 22/12/02 0:05:09 Re: and here is more Eleanor -- John, 22/12/02 9:43:50 Re: and here is more Eleanor -- Jo, 22/12/02 15:37:59 Re: and here is more Eleanor -- Eleanor, 22/12/02 15:55:27