Author:
Matt
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Date Posted: 21:22:06 09/16/03 Tue
I'll see what I can do. One of my friends from London who lives in Louisville, KY said she may be interested in going. I'll see what I can do there. And, for those of you who don't know, Keith has brought up what will surely be a funny story for the rest of you, even if it sucked major concrete-lawn-orniment-donkey-dick for me.
So, a couple days before I was to come back here to school, I decided to make a little trip down to Columbia to take a test and see people before I left. Even though Paul bitched out and refused to have any fun despite the fact he really had no reason not to, I had a great night hangin out with jessie baxter and her boyfriend. As we were going back to Jessie's around midnight, we saw some people outside by a dorm. Like the clueless, yet friendly, assholes we are, we decided to wave at them as if they were old friends. When they (surprisingly) waved back, we turned the car around and pulled up in front of the dorm. Just as we got to the front doors, some random frat guy ran up to the back of the car, reached in the back window and hit me in the face. Hard. Now, I know you may all find this hard to believe. In fact, the cop who took the report, my mom, my sister, pretty much everyone thought we were lying, but I am being completely honest when I say that I/we did NOTHING to this guy. Nothing at all. So, with my face bleeding profusely we raced to the hospital.
Now, for those of you who haven't been to the U. ov MO's hospital, the emergency room in particular, I would recommend you do anything necessary to avoid the place. Drive your ass to St. Louis or KC. Go find a voodoo doctor in the cornfields of Boone county. Because the service there sucks. I roll into the place, unable to talk and with 4 of my teeth at a 45 degree angle pointing into my mouth. As in, when I shut my mouth, I was biting the middle of my tongue. Their advice? "Here's some gauze, fill out these forms and go sit over there." In the next 3+ hours, I had an MRI that they lost and finally talked to a doctor. Their professional opinion, "If you need to get this fixed soon, go to KUMed Center in KC." She also told me that I could wait a few weeks to get it fixed if I wanted, as if teeth like this were perfectly normal an not in any urgent need of care. So, at about 4am, I got in my car and drove my happy, fucked-up-face, ass back to BS. After waking my parents up, we went to KUMed where I sat from 7am until 2 before even seeing a doctor. They eventually got me into a dentist who numbed my whole jaw up and pushed everything back into place before basically glueing all the teeth together to heal.
In the end, I have a broken jaw and have been unable to eat solid foods for 2 1/2 weeks so far, with at least another 1 1/2 weeks of the modified diet left. Well, that's my story. If nothing else, it should give you all some good fodder to further make fun of me for next time we are all together and extremely intoxicated.
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