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Date Posted: 10:36:21 01/15/03 Wed
Author: 社長
Subject: Re: 月夜(修改一)
In reply to: ~小魚 's message, "月夜(修改一)" on 08:32:14 01/15/03 Wed

衣單-->風難擋,長街-->路遠 ,第三句確是不夠精練。

但結句很好很好,「貓兒」出得很自然,「何處居」似乎露了一些,「陌上」太古典啦,如果不是實境的話,「牆上」可能好些,因為長街與陌屬於同一個平面,牆上是較高的地方,可以多一些立體感呢。

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