Author:
queen bee (double or nothing)
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Date Posted: 02:50:51 02/19/08 Tue
its february 19th 2:25AM.
my due date was on february 14 (valentines day)
not a day goes by that i dont think of my two little boys. when i first found out i was pregnant so many things ran threw my mind. getting ready to graduate, and my boyfriend at the time was 15 i do understand he was a freshman but we loved each other so much. and to this day i dont think im ever going to forget him, the pain and struggle we had to go threw every single day.
my boyfriends brother was my age we grew up together went to the same schools...when he found out i was dating his brother he started making up lies about me being crazy his parents tried so hard to keep us apart but nothing worked. one day i felt like he was the one i wanted to "lose it to" the one time we did end up having sex we didnt use a condom. a few weeks later.. i ended up being pregnant. we hid it for about a week. and our decision was to get an abortion i couldnt ruin his life with a child, he was still a child. and at this time it was way to hard to even see him, his parents had it out for me. when we found out the price for the abortion we decided to start putting our money together, and we became desperate, i asked his brother to help us.. he seemed very understanding and i thought we were going to get the support we needed. turns our his brother went and told his parents, he only told them he heard of a rumor that we were having sex and i was pregnant. they went and talked to my parents started a huge fight (like romeo and juliet) later that day my parents found out i was pregnant..they didnt allow me to tell my boyfriends parents..because of embarrasment. my bf denied me being pregnant.. and a week after..i had my medical abortion done. sitting in the waiting room was the worst feeling i didnt speak a word. and the day after i was sick 13 hours of severe cramps, crying, regret, i guess it was like going into labor, my stomach was contracting every 30 min. at first then by the end it was every few seconds, 9 months later i still regret it. the nightmares..it hurts me twice as much because it turns out we were going to have twins..two little boys. even though i never saw them, or heard them cry they were apart of me i heard there hearts beat.. together my boyfriend and i came up with there names the first born would be jaden andre & the second born would be name sean brandon. he may not care about the abortion "its the past" but he doesnt feel the regret most girls have to feel every day. alot of us just have to smile and pretend everythings ok. well its not!! we will never get over this. a part of my heart is still missing, i miss my boys..
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