| Subject: Gimli vs the afterlife |
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Gimli
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Date Posted: 17:11:53 02/17/03 Mon
Of course, Gimli was not actually *dead*, in the definitive sense of the word. If he were then this forum would be screwed, and my life would lose all meaning.
When Saruman killed him, Gimli had become one with the force and had joined Yoda, Ben Kenobi, Mace Windu, Old-Anakin, Slimer from ghostbusters, Beetlejuice, The ghost from christmas past, Mr.Sarell the duck and the boogieman...all those famous ghosts from film and literature.
Being a ghost sucked bigtime though, and it really wasn't Gimli's style. So he decided it was time to return. So one day while sitting in Jedi Heaven with Yoda and friends, Gimli began to come up with his plan.
Gimli: The easiest way for us to return would be to posess the bodies of the living.
Yoda: Hmmm....fine plan that is Master Dwarf, yet a Jedi's body disapears when destroyed he is.
Gimli: Stop with the funny talk already.
Gimli grabbed a dustbuster, and sucked Yoda's ghost into it.
Gimli: That'll keep him quiet.
Obiwan: You could posess the body of John Rhys-Davies, who played you in Lord of the Rings? You may have killed him at the Academy Awards, but that was only a few days ago. I'm sure the body is still in a fairly good state....despite all the bullet wounds.
Gimli: Great idea Ben, you want to come with me?
Obiwan: I don't think so...I'd rather stay here.
Gimli: Okay...
Gimli left Kenobi to help Yoda climb out of the dustbuster, and wondered off to go posess the body of John Rhys-Davies.
JOHN RHYS-DAVIES FUNEARAL...24 HOURS LATER
__________________________________________
Dozens of individuals, all wearing black, stood crying as John Rhys-Davies coffin was lowered slowly into a freshly dug grave. Everyone, including the priest holding the funeral, jumped back about a foot in horror though when suddenly the coffins lid burst open and the decaying body of Rhys-Davies staggered out.
Gimli: Mwhahahahaha...I'm back.
John Rhys-Davies wife screamed, and collapsed to the ground having a heart-attack as the body of her husband, climbed swiftly out of the ground.
Priest: OH MY GOD! HE'S COME BACK TO LIFE AS A ZOMBIE...KILL IT...KILL IT...
The undertaker tossed the priest an uzi, and he opened fire on John Rhys-Davies body. Gimli was invincible though, and backflipped into the open grave, using the coffin as shelter from the priests aggressive attack.
Gimli: Why are they all over-reacting...I just need to find a good make-up artist and put on my costume, and I will be my old-self once again.
Gimli lept from the grave, and kicked the priest in the throat, catching the gun as the preist fell to the ground unconscious. He then opened fire, taking down most of John Rhys-Davies family and friends. There would be no survivors once he had finished.
In the end, the only person left was John Rhys-Davies wife, laying on the ground dying of a heart-attack.
Gimli: Sorry about the mess...
TO BE CONTINUED....
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