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Subject: Furstrated and Lost Author: Kitty [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 10:19:05 03/19/01 Mon DAMMIT! Why do things have to suck like they do? I keep losing myself. And what's worse, I wonder if I ever even found it. i hate not being able to change. I hate not knowing what I would need to be able to change. Maybe I should just go out and clean the car. Maybe I should get off the computer. But here's where I rant. It's the purpose. When I'm done, I'll get off. DAMMIT! That feels good. It's crap. I can't stand the way I look in other's eyes, I can't stand the fact that I care...I just need to move away from me! Why do I always end up so frustrated? And Femen... God, Femen...once again, something I can't handle. I don't regret anything I did in regard to him...I'm rather upset he decapitated me and still doesn't feel any remorse. Not that I expected him to, but it would have been nice. And I also now feel like I can't live up to what I told Grandpa I'd do. I want him to see just how much I respect him...I mean, we aren't exactly family, but we're close. Which brings me to the question: how when and by whom was Femen exactly concieved? It's possible his mother could be Selene, or his father Loki...or his mother Loki... But what if it's Avi? What if his father is Avi? Then I'd be his uncle. Cripes. Naah, that's not the case. What is the deal here, then? I'm his brother. Okay. So why does he want to kill me? And why's he doing such a good job? Probably because he IS my brother. I couldn't kill him if I wanted to. I blame Loki, but in a good way. Yeah, he's got to be Loki's son. What do I do here? What CAN I do here? There's nothing I can do but put up with it! Which means feeling like crap for days and days... Which is what I do to myself anyway. I just don't need this added bonus. Ugh. I think I'll go wallow some more and then maybe get up off my ass. Maybe. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]