| Subject: Re: Not-Knowing |
Author:
Rich Forer
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Date Posted: 17:55:54 04/16/01 Mon
In reply to:
Gill
's message, "Re: Not-Knowing" on 13:08:19 04/15/01 Sun
Gill,
It's so good to hear your wise ideas. You got it!! I just think our language is different. When I speak of seeking I assume there is some pressure in the body/mind that causes the seeking in the first place. I am speaking of seeking of all kinds whether it be a specific spiritual search for relief through meditation or other practices, or whether it be relief through food, drugs, violence, sex or rock and roll. To me they're all the same from the point of view of the truth. The reason I say this is because the search is motivated by a desire to change something that is creating pain or is preventing the fulfillment of the desire for pleasure. In any case, I contend that even if there is only a nebulous feeling that something is not right (as opposed to a firm, unequivocal recognition that something is really wrong and must be changed), or there must be more to life than what is presently experienced, all of that creates some kind of mental image in the mind of the seeker (and everyone is a seeker until seeking somehow ends). Thus, there is no choice but to seek, even if it is in the form of very passive activity (the activity we choose to aid us in our search is dependent on our personalities; those who are very aggressive will act aggressively to fulfill their search). Yes, Adi Da can certainly motivate a more conscious search but, despite his devotees denials, even his devotees are seeking. Yes they have found the person of a great master but they still feel a pressure to do more or realize more or achieve more. IN fact,they have a strong mental image of what it is they are seeking for - the image is Adi Da's description of the enlightened condition. And I am completely certain that all the images that motivate our seeking come from some point in time-from a fairy tale told to a child, from a safe feeling as a child, from the desire for peace as in the womb,etc. etc etc.. My realization is that we cannot end our seeking. Seeking can stop at some point but not through any effort on our part. That's why I say that any effort makes the fulfillment of the search impossible, thank goodness, because we would be left with a great delusion - Our mental image, our fantasy, our interpretation of someone else's realization which would not be exactly what they meant. That is also why I say that if the seeker is fortunate what he is searching for will be lost ( he can't possibly find what he is looking for but if he's lucky he loses it and the search therefore ends). In other words there comes a time when the search ends effortlessly because the object of the search is suddenly nowhere to be found. I can't say that the object of the search disappears or vanishes because in my case it was there one moment and gone the next. I experienced no disappearance or vanishing, I had no experience. it had nothing to do with any effort on my part and what happened probably actually happened prior to the moment I realized it had happened (Janette tells me that she looked over at me the day before my non-event and thought I had changed dramatically); I simply noticed it at a certain moment in time. So, I hope my longwinded recital is helpful. I guess it can only be helpful to someone who has had a similar occurence. One last thing I can say is that every piece of advice, every discussion I had with my highly awake friends over the past 20+ years as well as all of the people in Saniel's work helped me immensely. It all helped me because I actually tried to understand what everyone was saying; and, since I was not "getting" what all those others had understood I simply became more and more confused and full of doubt for anything positive to ever happen to me. So, thanks to my friends confusing me so much over all these years I finally became Doubt and Confusion and suddenly there was no Doubt or Confusion to be found.
Love, Rich
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