| Subject: Re: my paranoia's showing |
Author:
kyla
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Date Posted: 14:42:37 07/23/01 Mon
In reply to:
Ben Hursh (Bazooka)
's message, "Re: my paranoia's showing" on 11:04:24 07/23/01 Mon
dear Ben, thank you so much for staying with this. I actually feel i do understand what you refer to when you speak of the Mystery, (I know, contradiction in terms there....I mean, I know what you are pointing to.) And one thing I value from my participation in this work is in fact the ways it helps me mentally, and Whole Being-ly, understand at least some levels of my experience. In other words, i find immense value in all Saniel's writings that verbally explore the nature of all this, because they deepen how i can see into that Mystery while never trying to solve it! i make no claims to being anywhere near as skilled as he is at that, but i sure do like to play in that field. To just stop at the point of "I don't understand and I never will" is something i seem constitutionally incapable of doing. And mind function is a part of our nature and that means to me that it has a rightful place in our love, investigation and expression of Being. It also has a really bad reputation, as parts of self go, and for excellent reasons. i guess i trust that Being force is doing whatever is necessary to bring all parts of Self into better balance, and that if i cooperate with that i don't need to worry about my mind getting some kind of upper hand.
And it is only through encounters like these that certain explorations can be opened, and for that i am most grateful. Big blessings to you, and i hope you have the patience to continue talking with me about some of this.
There is also, I gotta say at some point, might as well be now, a political issue here, of (perhaps) the Zen-like point of view taking to itself a kind of superior stance. Now, i know that is not what you meant to do. but in the larger scheme of things, if you even credit the existence of such!, this is a genuine issue that deserves carful consideration. I would really actually like to get past that so i can really hear YOU. but it seems that to get past it, i gotta go through it and at least acknowledge it. so, yeah, there is paranoia. and there is also some validity to finding oneself in a context of human experience that has its own reality. I cannot pretend to be seperate from that either. i can only hope to eventually awaken so fully within it that i am free there.
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