Hanging in there, but not alone! -- A White Hot Forum

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Subject: Hanging in there, but not alone!

Author:
Cassie

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Date Posted: 01:37:16 07/04/01 Wed
In reply to: Deidra 's message, "Addictions" on 22:59:39 07/03/01 Tue

Deidra, I am so glad to be holding hands with you in this. And yes, if it gets bad, to do whatever we have to do. Being gentle with ourselves is PRIMARY.

What I'm seeing is that if I DO find it necessary to eat and play computer solitaire that I can do it CONSCIOUSLY now. And this is different, very different. Not so addictive because it's not automatic.

It feels good to not be out of control in avoidance anymore, except that now I�m out of control in terror. It�s taken me over. I�m a frightful, fearful, wreck. Some part of me is screaming, �let me out of here!� Frantic, panicked and terrified out of her gourd. Buried-alive and trapped-in-a-coffin kind of terror. Takes great effort to be present with anyone or to get anything done. But NO effort to fall into it and feel it. Letting it have me is actually my greatest relief.

AND...
The bottom line is that I feel more whole, more centered, and more OK now. I like this feeling.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re:Letting It Have Me Is My Greatest Relief	Kyla	05:24:38 07/04/01 Wed

Re: Hanging in there, but not alone!	Deidra	10:14:54 07/04/01 Wed