| Subject: Re: The dreaded Goomba |
Author:
Paul
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Date Posted: 13:32:46 03/25/01 Sun
In reply to:
cassie
's message, "The dreaded Goomba" on 10:31:37 03/25/01 Sun
You know, I've had similar apprehensions after posting something. Considering what's going on with these feelings, I get two things. First, it's completely human to expose a position on this forum and feel vulnerable. All those people out there reading my words, judging them, criticizing them, making judgements about me in the process. Or some such rap.
The more interesting consideration on this has to do with this paradoxical voice that is now part of us, that I have found myself wrestling with occasionally. What is this voice that is expressing itself? I've often had the feeling that there are two voices at work here, and wakedown shakedown is the process of integrating them into one singular voice, and right around the 2nd birth, the polarity between the two is at its most distinct. I can really see it in some of Chris' postings in this forum. One is the voice of good old me, with its local concerns, its finite issues, expressing the body and all that's going on with me as I am where I sense myself to be in any given moment, relative to now, my past, my future, and so on. The other voice is the voice of Something Else that comes through, often invoked, with often remarkable assurance and forwardness. It's in the guise of me, but it really has a focus and intensity to it that is quite marked from the me voice. It is assertive in nature, statements representing flashes of integration or understanding. It has a sudden power to it.
And the writing in the forum is a amalgam of both, sometimes 100% one side, and sometimes 100% the other side. Over time, they blend and become one voice, but in the wakedown shakedown there is this wrestling with the polarity of it, a gradual figuring out of how to allow the space for both voices and have them come together simply as the voice of who we Are.
And the dreaded Goomba, if this consideration has any sense to it, is the uncertainty within us of just what the hell we did write down and post, and an uneasy feeling that what we wrote didn't "quite" say exactly what we intended to say, in capturing the entire whole of the paradox that we find ourself living.
Perhaps too heady, but something interesting to poke into.
Love,
Paul
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