Re: Oregano, Rosemary, and Time -- A White Hot Forum

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Subject: Re: Oregano, Rosemary, and Time

Author:
Gill

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Date Posted: 04:45:00 03/25/01 Sun
In reply to: Chris 's message, "Oregano, Rosemary, and Time" on 23:18:52 03/24/01 Sat

Chris,

Please don't feel ashamed. For years (and sometimes even now) I have had the knee-jerk reaction of "wanting to help" people when they're obviously in some sort of distress. It's kinda natural to want to do so; it's the hypermasculine "fix it" approach. If there's pain or distress, let's get rid of it! So, it is now an often difficult turnaround for me to just BE with the pain, distress, etc., let alone just BE with someone else when they're going through it. And I find the people involved in this Waking Down process are where I can begin to learn this. Amongst other people I still often find a spoken or unspoken demand from them for me to "help and fix their pain" and an anger when I am unable to do so. (This is made so clear for me at work - I work for a small local branch of a mental health charity and the people who come there or ring up sometimes get very angry with me because I can't "fix" their problems). It is also very difficult for all of us to feel those feelings of utter helplessness as we discover we don't have "the remedy".

Be gentle on yourself. We are all just trying to live and help ourselves and one another in the best way we can. Having said that, how refreshing to read your posting and how brave and honest of you. Thank you.

Much love.

Gill

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: Oregano, Rosemary, and Time	cassie	09:56:04 03/25/01 Sun