Subject: My Most Recent Rant |
Author: Sam
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Date Posted: 20:25:20 03/17/03 Mon
Dear God,
It is with my deepest regret that I pen this letter, but I feel
that I no longer may remain silent. To put it simply: You're a dick.
You heard me.
How DARE you? How dare you create a universe with such rediculous rules?
Look at these bodies we've been stuck with: fragile, typically ugly, poorly
adapted for our environments, and lacking virtually _all_ control! It's
like being forced to run Windows ME with no docs! Or the way you hooked our
endocrine systems up with virtually nothing in the way of overrides. !
Hell, that's just plain dangerous.
Or the general rules of the place. Christ. Look at how we have to ingest
other organisms just to survive. Disgusting. And tiresome. No
teleportation, psychoplasticisty rating of near nil, and a speed limit of
c. What the hell were you thinking?! Were you on crack or something?!
Look, I understand that your family life is rather complicated, but you
have abrogated the responsibilities you understook when you brought about
consciousness. You have wronged me madam, and I will not stand for it any
longer!
I am sick and tired of living in this shoddy, ramshackle excuse for a
universe. I fear that I will have to cancel my account with your firm
before very long, should such antics continue.
Yes, yes, of course mankind has done a terrible job too. Given the
(*barely*) adequate work you did setting up the system, they still could
have possibly succeeded, but they choose the worst possible path in nearly
every situation. So, yes, the world of man is indeed infinately worse than
the world you created. (And I do have to give you credit, your work is
astonishingly pretty.)
Nevertheless, you created the universe they inhabit and I take GREAT issue
with the persistant and pernicious half-assedness of its quality.
In closing, I urge you to go back to your workspace and come up with a
patch for this universe. Unless you address these issues forthwith, I will
indeed take my business elsewhere.
Samuel Walker
Resisdent of Universe(tm) 1.0
Milky Way, Terra, Genus: Homo, Soul=Yes
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