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Date Posted: Mon, Apr 19 2004, 22:39:42
Author: shadeshark
Subject: Okay, all together now:
In reply to: Velox 's message, "Re: I can't stop!" on Mon, Apr 19 2004, 20:31:58

This is my first patchwork fic. The premise is that all these Engrish snippets would be truly interesting if they were able to make more sense by leaning on each other.

Something like a house of bent cards.

Narration is the Engrish, dialogue is the glue.

Our title:

"Precious Anatomy, Dericious Physiolosy”

He wants Vincent to become his girl friend. In the beginning of this story, Vincent does not love Cloud very much. Vin works hard to get his heart. One day, cloud decides sneaking in Vin's room and has relationship.

“Oh, Cloud!” said Vincent. “I found this relationship under the bed. Is it yours?”

Vincent abuses Cloud gently in the beginning of the story. Vincent quit doing because he thinks that Cloud is not old enough to do it. Cloud tells Vin that he is old enough to have sexual relationship. Vin starts abusing Cloud very hard on a bed.

“Ow! Hey! Can we go back to gentle?”

Cloud are enjoying yaoi thing on bed. Third: Vincent drops his lunch.

Cloud scrambled for blankets. “What are you doing in here? Knock next time!”

“Uh. . . I’ll be out here.”

Cloud asks Vincent to teach him how to shoot gun.

“Well, first you aim at the gun. . . then you. . .”

“No, no!”

Vincent holds Cloud's body because he may be knocked down by the thrust of gun powder.

FLASH!

The canon shoot beam.

“Oh no! Beam!”

“Okay, now we’re going to teach you how to hide a body.”

Vincent completely forgets that he has put a special bullet, so both of them are smushed by the thrust. Vincent hold Cloud gently and asks him whether he is ok.

“What?”

“. . . r. . .k?”

“Oh, did I smush you? Sorry.”

Vincent suddenly jumps out from the cuffin.

“BOO! Did I scare you?”

“How did you get THERE?”

Vincent let Cloud to talk about Sephiroth. Cloud does not talk about Sephiroth much because once he talks what happened between Cloud and Sephiroth, everyone will hate Cloud.

“Not like we don’t. But you understand.”

Vincent understand that Cloud also has made a bad mistake in his past. He takes Cloud into the cuffin and attemps sleeping with him.

“Hey! Elbow—no! Don’t turn over! Your chin is digging into my head!”

“Maybe this isn’t the best place for this after all.”

“What’s with the cuffin? Ow! You’re supposed to abuse me gently!”

Vincent tells that Sephiroth is just look like his most loved one "Rucletia" and returns into his cuffin.

“Yeah, you’d better run hide.”

He seems to be attracted by Sephiroth because he thinks that Sephiroth is just like Rucletia. He seems crying in the cuffin because he cannot love a guy even though Sephiroth looks like Recletia (Vincent is very complicated man). Well, Sephiroth really wants to know who Recletia is. He throws Cloud and his friends out from the room—

“When did they get here?”

--and attemps taking Vincent out from the cuffin again in order to ask who Rucletia is.

“Hah! I bet you didn’t expect the mousetrap under the lid’s catch!”

Vincent tells that Rucletia is Sephiroth's mother.

“That doesn’t tell me anything!”

Maybe, he wants Sephiroth to forgive what he has done for long time ago. No! he does not want to be forgiven. Vincent is the one who has been put in such terrible trouble.

“Fine, then. You can just stay in there and sulk.”

Everyone is confused that he has been killed by Cloud.

“No! You didn’t kill me!” Sephiroth snapped at Cloud, who was coming into the room to deliver another insult. “It was. . . the one-armed man! I think.”

They are on a bed loving each other. Sephiroth suddenly appears. He has been killed by Cloud, so he should not be there. He comes to Cloud because he still loves him even though he was killed by him.

“Wait! It was you that killed me after all!”

He wears banny’s ears on his head.

“Hah! You think that’s a disguise? You wait till I get my hands on you—“

When Vincent got his conscious back, he saw a little baby whose eyes were just like Lucretua in a capsel.

“Yes, but does it dissolve in twenty-four hours?”

“I think you hit him too hard.”

Vincent tells that he is not sure to kill Cloud. He may consider it if he is offered something. . .Vincent is changing his bantage around his head.

“Yeah. I want his materia and CDs. And a scarf of some sort. What IS this thing?”

Sephiroth finds Vincent attenpt enjoying Cloud during work hour. Sephiroth kicks Vincent out and abuses Cloud.

“Uh, bye.”

“Gently! Gently!”

Sephiroth carries up Cloud and goes somewhere.

“Where are we, anyway? And you can put me down.”

Sephiroth tells Cloud that Clud was created for Sephiroth five years ago, so Cloud is belong to Sephiroth.

“Who’s Clud?”

“I don’t know. He belongs to me too.”

Cloud and Sephiroth are just playing deep and deep yaoi things on a bed. It is very deep yaoi.

“No, not just deep—deep AND deep. No! Not like that! I think you’re just shallow.”

“I’m about to start abusing you roughly.”

“Oh, fine! This is very deep.”

Cloud flips Cloud's hand and puches Cloud down to Sephiroth!!!

“Ow! I’m supposed to be doing the abusing!”

“Yeah? Says who?”

Sephiroth was abused so nice by Cloud, so He decided to call Cloud to Clouto.

“That’s the dumbest pet name I ever heard.”

“Shut up and abuse me again, Clud.”

He come up with an idea. He hungs a board on which he write that he is member of Shinra. It makes him more suspicious.

“What’ve you been doing today, Cloud?”

“Who wants to know?”

“You’ve gotten really weird recently.”

“I’m not a member of the Shinra!”

Cloud leads Sephiroth on bed.

“Okay. Here’s the headboard. Here are the pillows. Hey! Get off! It’s not time to abuse me yet. Ooh, here’s the dust ruffle—“

“You’re getting weird.”

The little Cloud always wish to have yaoitic time with Sephiroth.

“I thought we weren’t doing pet names.”

Suddenly, baby Sephiroth comes somewhere to protect baby Cloud.

“Enough of the inner-child stuff. Let’s just abuse each other.”

It is getting summer. They decide to go beach vacation, but Sephiroth cannot come to the beach.

“Some vacation. When he gets here, is he gonna get sand in his clothes.”

He was very busy. Cloud does not feel good because he cannot enjoy the vaction with Sephi. He beat up men on beach. Sephi finally comes to the beach. Cloud gives a bid hug to him.

“And. . . sold! To the man with the white hair!”

Cloud should become a prostitute for some reason.

“Heh heh.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” Sephiroth said quickly.

Cloud rises his hand up and runs into Sephiroth to give a big hug so that he can show some affection to sephiroth.

“Love is not spelled ‘R-U-G-B-U-R-N! Get off!”

The golden chocodo tells that Cloud should take Sephiroth's hand.

“Marriage is a big step. I’m not sure I’m ready for this commitment.”

Once he takes Sephiroth's hand, he will make the same mistake which caused very big problem of the world.

“Wait. . . so I should. . . Run away!”

Cloud and sephiroth are on cruize.

*splash * “Damn. So much for running. Hey up there! Throw a rope!”

Cloud likes Sephiroth. He wants Sephiroth give him a hug someday. . .

“Maybe someday he’ll quit abusing me and start loving me. Nah.”

He thought that Sephiroth attempts suiside or something. He takes Sephiroth's hand and carries back sephiroth to the boat.

“Well, I took your hand after all. Guess it’s time. . .”

Cloud gives a materia to Sephiroth in order to proposes for marriage. Sephiroth negrects the propose because the material he got from Cloud was shit.

“You are way too weird! It’s all over!”

Sephiroth gives tough time to Cloud, but Cloud loves sephiroth. Now, Sephiroth is dead.

“Urk!”

“Oh no! Sephiroth!”

Cloud bomits.

“Urk! Oh no! Sorry, Sephiroth!”

Many people loose consciouse when they were watching pokemon.

“Hmm. Maybe I could try CPR—I’m not touching that. Okay, guess it’s all over.”

Cloud sees a swoard which was bent and destroyed by monster. Cloud finds grass stepped by monster, so he follows the steps.

“Gee, hope he didn’t come around. Maybe I can tell him a gang of drunks kidnapped me. Oh, hi Cido.”

“Hi Cloud. I’m looking for my friend Beam.”

“Err. . . why don’t you come talk to Vincent?”

Vincent totally misunderstand that cido is waiting for vincent comming into the shower room, so he is very exited.

“I am SO out of here.”

While he is exited alone, he finds Cido getting out from the shower. cido is taking beer. He throw out a can of beer to vincent.

*pop *

*FWOOSH! *

“Haha!”

“I’ll get you for that.”

Cido thinks that if he refuses to kiss with him, he can make Vin to attempt suicide. Cido agrees to kiss with Vincent.

“But you owe me, pal.”

He suddenlly wakes up and cries! There are so many monsters hunging around. He turns into a monster and destroys everything. Everything is over.

Vincent suddenlly turns into a dragon and destroy the monster.

“Wait, is this really ove—“

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