I ship Heywood/MKIceman! -- Godawful Fan Fiction

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Date Posted: Fri, Apr 23 2004, 2:42:12
Author: OTP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD
Subject: I ship Heywood/MKIceman!
In reply to: And the whole universe, for that matter. 's message, "I appologize to the whole board for this." on Fri, Apr 23 2004, 1:57:59

>Instant Slash Story!
>
>The darkness was all around as Heywood walked through
>the Pit of Voles down towards his pup tent, random
>thoughts of tentacle rape crossing his mind.
>
>He had been shocked earlier when Tilly had told him
>she often dreamed about The Site Guru involved in
>necroporn with a sock puppet , but each to their own,
>she didn't know about his fantasies involving Matt .
>
>One day he would discuss his feelings with Site Guru,
>but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he
>could be by just thinking of Matt masturbating himself
>with a hanky.
>
>The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet
>location and began to stroke the spork he was carrying
>with him. Would Matt's pecs feel like that to his pot
>belly?
>
>What would Matt think of him if he knew how his cock
>grew hard as he thought of eating oysters off Matt's
>beautiful bulging underwear?
>
>Heywood rubbed the spork against his pecs whispering
>Matt's name to himself. He knew he should stop and
>wait until he got back to his pup tent but desire
>overtook him and he came, screaming Matt's name into
>the night.
>
>Meanwhile, Matt had not been able to sleep and had
>decided to go out in the night air. the Pit of Voles
>was such a beautiful place at this time of the night.
>He took a bite of the oysters he was carrying and
>leisurely scratched his pecs.
>
>He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the
>distance. Was that Heywood calling his name. He must
>be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation.
>He dropped his oysters and ran towards the sound of
>his sweetie-dumpling's voice.
>
>Matt stumbled through the darkness towards Heywood.
>Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his
>sweetie-dumpling being attacked by a sock puppet. Was
>he about to be raped by Fandom Wank dressed as The
>Site Guru? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse
>throbbing in his pot belly.
>
>Heywood, Heywood, my sweetie-dumpling, screamed Matt.
>It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Heywood
>leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the spork and
>trying to untangle his trousers from around his
>ankles. He fell over, his bare bulging underwear
>pointing in the air.
>
>Matt! Heywood gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing
>here? Site Guru said you were in your pup tent engaged
>in some tentacle rape with Tilly.
>
>No, I was alone in my pup tent with nothing but my
>hanky for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how
>beautiful your bulging underwear was, and how I would
>like to stroke my pecs against it, and have you kiss
>my pot belly, and now I see your bulging underwear for
>myself I realise that not even The Site Guru has a
>bulging underwear to compare with yours.
>
>Oh, sweetie-dumpling, Site Guru said you felt that way
>but I never believed him, I thought you loved Tilly.
>
>What! That old sock puppet, I'd rather get involved in
>necroporn with Fandom Wank, a spork and oysters than
>dream of tentacle rape with her, Ooh, the very thought
>makes my pot belly curl.
>
>Oh, Heywood!
>
>Oh, Matt, my sweetie-dumpling!
>
>Cue soft music, sounds of tentacle rape and necroporn,
>soft focus and fade.........

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Replies:

Oh ho! So that's why they've been bickering like an old married couple. *waggles wolfy ears and winks saucily at Heywood and Matt* J/K. Don't eat me! (NT) -- silrayn silverwolf, Sat, Apr 24 2004, 10:59:49