I appologize to the whole board for this. -- Godawful Fan Fiction

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Date Posted: Fri, Apr 23 2004, 1:57:59
Author: And the whole universe, for that matter.
Subject: I appologize to the whole board for this.
In reply to: Sil 's message, "Let's play with the Instant Slash Generator, shall we?" on Fri, Apr 23 2004, 1:33:41

Instant Slash Story!

The darkness was all around as Heywood walked through the Pit of Voles down towards his pup tent, random thoughts of tentacle rape crossing his mind.

He had been shocked earlier when Tilly had told him she often dreamed about The Site Guru involved in necroporn with a sock puppet , but each to their own, she didn't know about his fantasies involving Matt .

One day he would discuss his feelings with Site Guru, but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Matt masturbating himself with a hanky.

The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet location and began to stroke the spork he was carrying with him. Would Matt's pecs feel like that to his pot belly?

What would Matt think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating oysters off Matt's beautiful bulging underwear?

Heywood rubbed the spork against his pecs whispering Matt's name to himself. He knew he should stop and wait until he got back to his pup tent but desire overtook him and he came, screaming Matt's name into the night.

Meanwhile, Matt had not been able to sleep and had decided to go out in the night air. the Pit of Voles was such a beautiful place at this time of the night. He took a bite of the oysters he was carrying and leisurely scratched his pecs.

He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the distance. Was that Heywood calling his name. He must be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation. He dropped his oysters and ran towards the sound of his sweetie-dumpling's voice.

Matt stumbled through the darkness towards Heywood. Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his sweetie-dumpling being attacked by a sock puppet. Was he about to be raped by Fandom Wank dressed as The Site Guru? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse throbbing in his pot belly.

Heywood, Heywood, my sweetie-dumpling, screamed Matt. It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Heywood leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the spork and trying to untangle his trousers from around his ankles. He fell over, his bare bulging underwear pointing in the air.

Matt! Heywood gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing here? Site Guru said you were in your pup tent engaged in some tentacle rape with Tilly.

No, I was alone in my pup tent with nothing but my hanky for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how beautiful your bulging underwear was, and how I would like to stroke my pecs against it, and have you kiss my pot belly, and now I see your bulging underwear for myself I realise that not even The Site Guru has a bulging underwear to compare with yours.

Oh, sweetie-dumpling, Site Guru said you felt that way but I never believed him, I thought you loved Tilly.

What! That old sock puppet, I'd rather get involved in necroporn with Fandom Wank, a spork and oysters than dream of tentacle rape with her, Ooh, the very thought makes my pot belly curl.

Oh, Heywood!

Oh, Matt, my sweetie-dumpling!

Cue soft music, sounds of tentacle rape and necroporn, soft focus and fade.........

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Replies:

I ship Heywood/MKIceman! -- OTP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 2:42:12
- Oh ho! So that's why they've been bickering like an old married couple. *waggles wolfy ears and winks saucily at Heywood and Matt* J/K. Don't eat me! (NT) -- silrayn silverwolf, Sat, Apr 24 2004, 10:59:49
::laughs!:: Better than MadLibs! -- MKIceman, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 8:49:32
- Now will you kiss and make up? -- Jocelyn, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 16:56:58
O_O Uhh...wow! ^_^;; (NT) -- Tilly, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 9:13:50
Oh dear Lord... -- Linksh�nder, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 11:18:16
We could make GAFF a fandom... -- Hellfire04, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 16:24:33