Oh dear Lord... -- Godawful Fan Fiction

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Date Posted: Fri, Apr 23 2004, 11:18:16
Author: Linksh�nder
Subject: Oh dear Lord...
In reply to: And the whole universe, for that matter. 's message, "I appologize to the whole board for this." on Fri, Apr 23 2004, 1:57:59

So utterly bad, yet so hilarious and addictive...it's GAFF all over.

Here goes...

The darkness was all around as Johnny Wizard walked through the Simpson Desert down towards his lecture hall, random thoughts of Jazzercise crossing his mind.

He had been shocked earlier when Link's Queen had told him she often dreamed about the Troll King involved in watching reruns of "Neighbours" with a earwig , but each to their own, she didn't know about his fantasies involving Kyse Safe .

One day he would discuss his feelings with Not A Haven Loser, but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Kyse Safe masturbating himself with a animated stapler.

The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet location and began to stroke the blender he was carrying with him. Would Kyse Safe's nostril hair feel like that to his earwax?

What would Kyse Safe think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating Manning House lunch special off Kyse Safe's beautiful toenails?

Johnny Wizard rubbed the blender against his nostril hair whispering Kyse Safe's name to himself. He knew he should stop and wait until he got back to his lecture hall but desire overtook him and he came, screaming Kyse Safe's name into the night.

Meanwhile, Kyse Safe had not been able to sleep and had decided to go out in the night air. the Simpson Desert was such a beautiful place at this time of the night. He took a bite of the Manning House lunch special he was carrying and leisurely scratched his nostril hair.

He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the distance. Was that Johnny Wizard calling his name. He must be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation. He dropped his Manning House lunch special and ran towards the sound of his Mack Truck of Love's voice.

Kyse Safe stumbled through the darkness towards Johnny Wizard. Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his Mack Truck of Love being attacked by a earwig. Was he about to be raped by The Raving Madman dressed as the Troll King? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse throbbing in his earwax.

Johnny Wizard, Johnny Wizard, my Mack Truck of Love, screamed Kyse Safe. It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Johnny Wizard leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the blender and trying to untangle his trousers from around his ankles. He fell over, his bare toenails pointing in the air.

Kyse Safe! Johnny Wizard gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing here? Not A Haven Loser said you were in your lecture hall engaged in some Jazzercise with Link's Queen.

No, I was alone in my lecture hall with nothing but my animated stapler for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how beautiful your toenails was, and how I would like to stroke my nostril hair against it, and have you kiss my earwax, and now I see your toenails for myself I realise that not even the Troll King has a toenails to compare with yours.

Oh, Mack Truck of Love, Not A Haven Loser said you felt that way but I never believed him, I thought you loved Link's Queen.

What! That old earwig, I'd rather get involved in watching reruns of "Neighbours" with The Raving Madman, a blender and Manning House lunch special than dream of Jazzercise with her, Ooh, the very thought makes my earwax curl.

Oh, Johnny Wizard!

Oh, Kyse Safe, my Mack Truck of Love!

Cue soft music, sounds of Jazzercise and watching reruns of "Neighbours", soft focus and fade.........

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Replies:

We could make GAFF a fandom... -- Hellfire04, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 16:24:33