Re: Damn -- the sanctuary

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Date Posted: 20:10:33 01/22/05 Sat
Author: Doyle
Author Host/IP: NoHost / 144.138.100.47
Subject: Re: Damn
In reply to: Doyle 's message, "Damn" on 18:44:02 10/24/04 Sun

9 p.m.

"Silent Knightley"

by: Doyle

An unknown someone knocked on the front door. Doyle opened it to reveal a box. His eyes widened at the sight of the package which was wrapped in red silk. To his startled vision it looked huge. Pulling his gaze from the box, Doyle called out to whoever had delivered the gift. "Helllooooo?" No answer. He frowned, then just shrugged and heaved the heavy box inside. Silver, slumped on one of the couches inside, stared at the package. It was covered in red silk and tied with multicoloured satin ribbons that were all very festive. "Where'd that come from?" Silver asked suddenly. Doyle's frown deepened as he watched her tiptoe to see at eye level with the top of the box. He folded his arms as Anya and Sophie joined them in examining it. "Don't know. Santa?" he joked. "But it's not Christmas yet." Silver said, puzzled. "It's only four days away." he pointed out. "Who's is it?" Sophie wondered aloud. "I bet it's mine." Anya said with a gleam in her eye. "An', I don't think-" Doyle began. "Oh, look!" Anya hurried forward. She pushed a finger delicately under the line of ribbons and pried at something with her fingernail. "There's a card tucked under the bow." She tore the envelope open then read the card. Her smile quickly faded and she thrust the card at Doyle. "It's for you."

"Oh, how nice!" Doyle exclaimed. Silver raised an eyebrow. Before anyone else could utter a word, he stepped forward and yanked on the tangle of flamboyant ribbons that came together at the top of the package. The oversize bow slipped apart instantly, dropping like a waterfall of colour down the side of the box to land in a rainbow-hued puddle at its base. "Aren't you going to read the-" Sophie started. Doyle's fingers were already lifting the gaily wrapped lid. All four of them backed up as the front of the box collapsed forward with a thud. Now they crept forward, one at a time, to peer inside. "Is there something...moving in it?" Sophie asked in a tremulous voice. Doyle saw the silhouette of a woman. A brilliant light washed over her form.

Doyle's mouth dropped, his gaze traveling up and down the young, beautiful woman. She was dressed in a skimpy red Santa's helper costume with white trimming and a plunging neckline which left little to the imagination. Doyle gasped, "Keira Knightley." Raising an eyebrow, she purred, "Would you like to make merry Christmas with me?" He cleared his throat as he watched her sashaying towards him. Doyle tried to think of something else to say, but nothing came to mind. Keira Knightley put her hand on his arm and gazed at him imploringly, "There must be something you want me to do for you." She stroked his arm. "Uh..." he managed. "When's the last time you had any?" Keira asked, her fingers taking a friendly walk along the nape of his neck. "Um, well, I-" he stammered. "Tell me." Keira said, leaning forward, placing one hand on his knee, arresting his gaze with her own. He gasped as her hand...slipped. "Oh, for heaven's sake," Silver mumbled, as she rolled her eyes, "I don't wanna see that. I just ate carabou." She walked over to Doyle, then, holding her hands if front of him, she slapped them together with a violent crack. He looked around quickly, guilt and worry lighting his eyes. Silver snatched his wrist and dragged him away from Keira Knightley. "What the...wait!" Doyle hollered. Keira pouted. Then her lower lip trembled. Doyle never thought he could be so affected by a woman's expression. He broke free of Silver's grasp and made his way back to Keira Knightley. Looking into her beautiful brown eyes, he found her impossible to resist. The woman was dangerously seductive. She swayed against him, the heady scent of her perfume making his heart race.

"Hmph," Sophie grumbled, "I remember when *I* was the one giving him a lapdance." "I remember when *I* was his wife." said Anya, turning to glare at her. Silver sighed, marched back to Doyle, and punched him on the arm. "What the hell's the matter with you?" Then she noticed Keira Knightley whispering seductively in his ear. Silver hit him again. No response. Her eyes rolled heavenward and she mumbled, "This is going to be a very long night." As Silver strode back to the other two, she stuck out her tongue in disgust. "Do either of you guys find something a little off about her?" Anya narrowed her eyes. "What isn't? She's a hussy." "And she looks like a cross between Winona Ryder and Natalie Portman." Sophie added. "Well yes," Silver agreed, "but that's not what I was talking about. She should be freezing in her skimpy dress, yet she doesn't seem at all affected by the cold." "I have a theory as to why that is." Anya replied, pointing at Keira who leaned into Doyle. "They're sharing body heat!" As Keira snuggled him, she allowed her hands to wander again.

Anya felt as if the temperature in the room had just risen by twenty degrees, inexplicably. She planted herself in a chair and said to the other two, "She's gotta be a robot." Silver and Sophie nodded in agreement. "It's a skankbot. It's an evil skankbot constructed from skanky parts that look like Keira Knightley designed to seduce Doyle!" Anya exclaimed. Then, with an evil grin, she added, "Which means we can kill her." As one, all three of them turned to look at Keira Knightley, who was currently whispering a devilish word in Doyle's ear. "I'm going to take great pleasure in tearing her apart with my bare hands." Anya stated. She got up and walked over to Keira and Doyle. "Stop undressing her with your eyes, Doyle." Anya ordered him. "Oh, Doyle doesn't have to use his eyes to undress me." Keira pointed out as she began slipping off her red and white costume. "Oh, please." Anya groaned. "Get a grip, Anya." Keira told her, "I am." Anya nearly choked. "Alright, bee-atch, that's it! You're going down!" she spat at Keira Knightley who retorted, "Indeed I am, with Doyle." Anya was now seeing red. She grunted and brought her fist up, slamming it into Keira Knightley's face with adrenaline-fueled fury.

"Wahhhh!" Anya hollered. "That was satisfying and all but who thought slugging someone in the face would hurt so damn much!" She cradled her injured hand. Then a wail rose up from Keira Knightley who was holding her nose in pain. Anya's attention reverted to the Winona Ryder/Natalie Portman hybrid - at least for a second. Keira moaned with unearthly volume, holding both hands over her face. The blood was seeping through her fingers and trickling onto the floor. "That shouldn't be...I mean, ha! Serves you right!" Anya said, sauntering past her towards Doyle. Silver and Sophie joined Anya at his side. "You alright?" Sophie asked him. Doyle's head snapped up. "Where's Keira Knightley?" he asked, gazing at them blankly. "Ugh, behold the humiliation." Anya told him and pointed to Keira crouched down on the floor covering her face. "What happened?" he questioned them. "She must have been using some kind of supernatural influence on you." Sophie explained to him. "We thought she was a robot but...uh...she turned out to be the real deal. When Anya punched her it must have broken the enchantment. You're back with us now, Doyle." Sophie moved in to hug him but he pushed her away and ran over to Keira Knightley. "Or perhaps not." Silver added bitterly.

Doyle helped Keira Knightley stand up and she thanked him by swatting his hands away then slogging him in the jaw and yelling, "Get offa me!" He stumbled backwards before sprawling on the floor. "Hey!" he protested, "Ow! Geez, what was that for?" Her eyes widened as she spouted off curses at him. "What the fuck is this? Who the fuck are you? Why am I dressed like Santa's fucking sex-slave? Did you dress me up like this while I was unconscious, you sick fuck? And WHY is my fucking nose bleeding?!" she fumed. He grabbed her by the wrist. "Wait, you don't remember anything about comming here?" "What are you talking about? You kidnapped me! Let me go at once!" With that, Keira Knightley kicked Doyle in the gut and ran out the door. He lay on the floor, coughing loudly as Anya, Silver and Sophie walked over to him one by one. They peered down at him and he gazed back up at them with blurred vision. "We're sorry, Doyle." said Sophie. Silver nodded. "Yeah. We're sorry." Anya snoreted. "I'm not." They all looked at her. "She was getting fresh with *my* husband!" "It wasn't her fault, Anya." Doyle said quietly. "Someone must have enchanted her, used magick to enhance her sexual power over men, which in turn was used to seduce me. I have no idea who would do such a thing or why but it felt bloody good while it lasted." After some thoughtful consideration, Anya crouched beside him and said, "Poor Doyley. I've got just the thing to boost your spirits."

She opened her mouth and Doyle thought she was going to blow in his ear. Instead, she squeezed her eyes shut and bellowed, "Si-ilent Knightley!" Then took a deep breath, and even louder, "Ho-oly Knightley!" Silver and Sophie joined in. "All is calmly!" The three of them bellowed, hitting one or two of the actual notes to the Christmas carol this time. "All is brightly!" "An', this isn't exactly making me feel any better." Doyle pointed out. "Don't interrupt me when I'm singing about kindness and understanding you pissass scum crap dirt bastard!"

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