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Date Posted: 13:04:35 04/06/03 Sun
Author: "Blitzkrieg" Brian Von Braun
Subject: A Work Of Art...DESTROYED!

It's a wonderful Sunday afternoon, another off day for Brian, as he has no workout planned. Brian decides to spend a good chunk of the day at the RWF Hall Of Fame and really take in all of the sights there. The walk starts with the Hawaiian Superman, a little before Brian's time, but still respected through watching old tapes. Next is Caladan, 2nd to be inducted into the HOF, and still before Brian's time. His return a few seasons ago sparked Brian's interest as a Hall of Famer coming back for some more action. Brian takes his time at each inductee for reflection. He vividly remembers all of his favorite matches in which these great wrestlers performed. Finally comes Dav Pinnick...

Brian: BUFF BAGWELL!?!?! Wait, no! That dispicable piece of garbage! I can't believe he has the gall to do something like this.

The sound of a group of groaning people can be heard across the hallway. That can only mean one thing; the Unknown Jobber is panhandling with lame jokes again. Brian turns around to see UJ trying desperately to get people to listen to his jokes.

UJ: What do you call a field of cows masturbating? Beef Strokinoff!!!

"Ughhhh..." Brian decides to do the most daring thing he's ever done in his life. He hops over the velvet rope and yanks the picture of Latin Lover off of the wall. UJ is still killing the crowd while Brian walks up behind him.

Did you hear about the guy with herpes in his eyelids? He was lookin' for love in all the wrong places!

Brian raises the portrait over his head and brings it down on UJ's paper-bagged melon! He grabs UJ by the leisure suit jacket and shoves him up against the wall.

HEY HEY!!!! I'm performing here! What the hell do you think you're doing buddy?!?!

I'm giving you a message to take to your boss. You take this hideous portrait back to Latin Lover, and you tell him that he'll NEVER make it into this Hall of Fame! The people hate him, and he doesn't deserve to be remembered here with the rest of these legends.

Oh yeah? What are you gonna do if I don't?

I'll rip that paper bag off of your head and reveal who you really are!

What kind of a threat is that? If people really thought about it, they'd know exactly who I am. It's not that hard to figure out.

Well then, I didn't want to have to threaten you with this, but I'll just find out wherever you are, and I'll come tell better jokes.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Okay, okay, I'll tell him!

Good! Now get out of here!

The Unknown Jobber hops away, holding the portrait frame around his waist like a hoola-hoop. Brian looks back up at the empty space on the wall where Dav Pinnick's face should be.

Now I'll have to let the president know about this.

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