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Date Posted: 20:27:34 04/06/03 Sun
Author: "Shit Talker" Tyrone Walker
Subject: The final mix ...

Tyrone's voice is heard saying 'Is the audio from that tape cues up yet?' 'Yes, sir.' Some mumbling is heard. There's a moment of flickering on a television screen and Tyrone Walker's lovely visage comes into view. He's dressed to the pimpinest and seated beside a cardboard cutout of the Latin Lover. He's holding an old 70s "Let's Make a Deal" type microphone and resting in a red leather chair.

WALKER: "Welcome to 'Shit Talkin' with yo' A-numero-uno nigga' .... ME! The man who is so black I leave fingerprints on charcoal."

Canned Sit-Com laughter pours over the top as Walker flashes a paltinum smile.

"But any-fuckin'-way, the game's to be sold, not to be told. Let's get back to our guest, the Latin Luva Man!"

*The sound of crickets fills the air*

A finger pushes from behind the cut-out moving its lips in conjunction with an obvious audio clip.

LL CUT OUT: "Nice ... to be ... here ... "Shit Talker" Tyrone Walker."

"Yeah, whatever. Listen, nigga. I'm known for doin' some serious probin' ... in and out of the bedroom ..."

*laugh track*

"So, I'm going to now probe your mind ... not like that nigga ... but wit' some questions any other nigga won't be askin' you - probably because the Sambuca on yo' breath could scare the sauce off a rack 'o ribs."

"..."

"So, nigga, why you be cryin' so much?"

"Why man,why? ...Jeez man..it didn't have to be like that. ...I love guys."

"YOU WHAT?"

"I love guys. Go To Hell!!!"

"Chill, nigga. I got no qualms wit' the ass lovin' if that's what you're into, nigga. Just stay over there, though. You still ain't told us what yo' problem is with your whinin' and cryin' shit."

"I have ... love ... for guys."

"So what guys have you fucked, then?"

"Seether ... Dav ... Destroyer ... Caladan ... Memnock ... Hawaiian Superman ..."

"HUH?!?!? How'd you get in that ass?"

"I'm the RWF World Champion ... I love it because guys ... suck my Spanish dick!"

"You heard it first! Latin Lover is only in if for runnin' a train on guys! Thanks for tuning in to "Shit Talkin" with Tyrone Walker! Next week, we'll see who gets my attention!"

The cardboard cut-out falls over, revealig Norman Smiley, red with laughter, who falls out of the chair since he's laughing so hard. Topless hos begin to dance about the fake studio as Tyrone Walker and a host of bruthas begin to party and dance on the cut-out of Latin Lover before the scene fades out.

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