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Date Posted: 04:32:06 04/11/03 Fri
Author: Dr Doom
Subject: The Microwave

Doom flops into the chair behind his desk with a large self-satisfied grin on his face. He's had an idea. Amara and Alexandra are standing in front of Doom's desk, exchanging glances and wondering how insane Doom really is. There's an expected absence of Apocalypticus.

Amara : A microwave?

Doom nods. He's still smiling.

Alexandra : Well, if you think about it, it makes perfect sense.

Amara : How!?

Alex : Ever put a cat in a microwave?

Amara : No.

Alex : Oh. Lets just say you get a nice red omlette afterwards.

Amara : And?

Doom decides to interrupt.

Doom : Have either of you ever tried opening the microwave door while it is still cooking?

Amara : Yeah. It stops. So?

Doom : Well lets just say it didn't, what would happen?

Amara : It would cook whatever happened to be near the open door?

Doom : Exactly! We'd have a HEAT RAY!

Alex : You've already got a heat ray! It replaced the toaster in the scientist's staff room.

Doom : Yes! But this one will make more than toasted bread! It'll make toasted people!

Alex and Amara sigh.

Alex : Just like the Death Laser was meant to.

Doom : Hmmph. What has the science team been doing since the Death Laser anyway?

Amara : They made this... {fishes in pocket}

She produces a small handgun from her pocket.

Doom : What's that?

Amara : I'll demonstrate.

She points it at Doom and pulls the trigger. A tiny steel chair extends from the vertically long barrel of the gun. The chair slaps Doom in the face -who falls out of his office chair- and disappears back inside the gun. Doom climbs back into his seat.

Doom : That's it? I want weapons of mass destruction and genocide, and they come out with a kid's toy?

Amara : It's, uh, progress... isn't it?

Doom : Not really, no.

Amara : Alright, well, safety-proof microwave coming up I suppose...

Doom : Once the door safety mechanisms have been confirmed, so we know they don't work, boost the power of the microwave before commencing damage tests.

Amara : Uh-huh.

Amara leaves. Alexandra looks at Doom, who seems to be daydreaming. She shrugs and follows Amara out of the room. Scene fades out.

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