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Date Posted: 19:41:37 04/11/03 Fri
Author: "Shit Talker" Tyrone Walker
Subject: I can' t believe the NERVE of that nigga! (Latin Lova' read)

A camera comes to life in the back of Tyrone Walker's limosine. In the camera frame is none other than Tyrone Walker, with the belt laying across his lap and a huge platinum smile on his face. Sitting next to him is none other that RWF Straight Man, Dan Gosnell.

DAN: "So tell me, Mr. Walker, now that you've achieved the RWF World Title in such a short time frame, how does it feel?"

WALKER: "Shitty."

"Shitty? You just defeated the Latin Lover and ..."

"Don't even mention his name. This shit ain't about him - hell - it ain't even about Clamidia Klap-trap-ski and his girlfriend. NO! I'm pissed at one muthafucka' and one muthafucka' alone!"

"Who? X?"

"Hell naw, nigga ... VANITY SHOWWOOD!"

"But he's dead how ..."

"Shut tha fuck up, Gosnell, before I bitch-slap the white out yo' cracka ass. I'll tell you EXACTLY why I'm hatin' on Vanity Takes-Wood-up-his-ass. There I am, the biggest, blackest star to ever enter the RWF, Juno Ghetto champion to all my peeps comin' up hard on the streets. I just pulled quite possibly one of the greatest upsets ever - twice, mind yo' ass - and what happens?"

"w..."

"I SAID SHUT THA FUCK UP, GOSNELL! DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU AND LEAVE YO' ASS IN A DUMPSTER!"

ST is now visibly shaking with anger as he pours a large glass of Hennessey and slams it. He takes a deep breath and continues.

"What happens is a has-been muthafucka steals my GOT DAMN spotlight by hangin' his faggot ass in the Hall of Fame - LITERALLY! On a night when a new champion is crowned, shit should be fadin' out on me and thirty seven big-tittied hos dancin' in the ring and pouring Don all over ourselves, not some motionelss, emotionless and talentless leftover swinging like a leftover chicken wing at a Norman Smiley Bar-B-Cue! THAT SHIT WAS LIVE! And do the peeps at home get to see titties and ass? No - we get to see Fag-Wood swingin' in the wind."

"Don't you have any heart? A talent died! A man, obviously distressed for some reason, took his own life!"

"So-fuckin-what? You know why he hung himself? Because his music kicked in, he looked out and saw me gettin' ready to hand out one swift ass-kickin' to him, then thought 'Shit! That nigga's gonna' kill me! I better go to somewhere quiet and do it myself, 'cause GOT DAMN! TYRONE TURNER IS ONE BAAAAAAD MUTHAFUCKA!'"

"You have no soul."

"MUTHAFUCKA! Don't eva tell this nigga' he ain't got no soul! I'll cut you for that shit! Get it straight, bitch, I ain't got no heart. You can't have a heart in this business. And that's EXACTLY what the fuck this is ... a business."

A mirror passes in front of ST with a rolled-up $100 bill on it. White powder lays strewn about it. Walker passes it to Gosnell and smiles.

"You want a few lines, nigga?"

Gosnell looks around hesitantly, smiles than snorts several lines as his eyes begin to water.

"Holy ... shit ... that's ..."

"The best. Just like me, baby. Speakin' of 'The Best' - I need to address a kid named Latin Lover. LL - we could have had a hell of a match, but bitches keep wantin' to have a piece of both you and me's game. And I can't be havin' that shit - and neither should you. So when I took that first fuckin' DDT, then that afro-splittin' chair-shot, my demeanor quickly changed to 'Fuck this! How can I get this nigga's belt and go home?' Sure, it was the quick way out, but a nigga like me has to do what he has to do to make ends. But there's somethin' sweet about to happen, nigga. Me and you been teamed-up. Now I know we ain't always seen eye-to-eye. But like me, you know this shit is a business. And if there's anything sweeter than havin' a belt - it's two belts! Two piles of gold around both of our waists. I heard through the grapevine you might be havin' some lady problems, too. Tell you what, partna', you play ST's game and I'll hook you up, nigga. I still like you, don't get me wrong, its just anything in the ring is business, nigga. You have my beeper. Send me a shout and the limo will swing by to get you -


- and you can leave the bitch at home for a night."

ST flashes another one of his platinum smiles as the scene begins to fade out and Gosnell hits another line of cocaine.

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