Results Round 12 -- RFL - More than a Fantasy!

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Date Posted: 23:34:00 07/31/07 Tue
Author: Assistant to the Work Experience student
Author Host/IP: 124.180.183.105
Subject: Results Round 12

LAXATIVES REALLY ARE SHIT.
Party Animals 28 13 181 def VVS Laxatives 25 19 169
After being done over by the commission during the week, the heated rivalry between the Party Animals and the Laxatives continued on the field. In a strange quirk of this years fixture, the two cross country rivals faced off against each other for the second successive week. Once again there was no joy for the Curry Munchers.

The Laxatives season which began with the turmoil of the sacking of last years coach Floodney Spew, has now ended with Coach Rooter McTempo blaming everyone but himself for the clubs problems. Said McTempo, "Look how was I supposed to coach this rabble that was assembled for me. This team was shit from the beginning. It was drafted whilst Vijay and The Nawab were pissed on West Indian beer".

Meanwhile coach Molly was very pleased with his men, and the mathematical beauty of the final scores was not lost on him. "We really screwed them. They finished with one 69, but we gave them the metric version; one ate one"

STUDENTS WERE ALWAYS SHIT
University Wolves 26 13 169 lost to McHale's Navy 27 16 178

In a performance that once again calls into question the whole draft system, the Wolves took the field on Saturday with only 6 men. (Well 7 really but Jordan Lewis was just hopeless). The Navy took full advantage of this to maintain their tenuous hold on a final 4 position, running out winners by just 9 points.

Once again Wolves coach Sly the Magnificent was unavailable for comment, muttering something about sleep deprivation as he cut a swathe through the throng of journalists at the post match conference.

Meanwhile Coach McHale has returned to his jovial self, even suggesting that he feels safe despite entering what has traditionally been regarded as coach sacking season.

SHOUT ARE OFFICIALLY SHIT
Elliots Last Shout 19 22 136 lost to Swangunners 30 14 194

The season is as good as over for the boys from Optarse, after being put to the sword by the interstate invaders the SwanGunners to the tune of 58 points.

Pigs Arrrrssse was a shattered man as he finally ventured out from the social club to view the carnage. Not to be outdone, he took the podium in the players rooms immediately after the match, and announced that he was going to lodge a writ in court tomorrow to have all ELS defeats declared void. The commission isn't even bothering to attend the court.

Horse Longman was pleased to see the back of the Piss Pots who he claimed had not shown his team any respect on the both occasions they met during the year. Said Horse, we are heading for an AUgust show down amongst the best. ELS are now just the rest.

Whilst it is still mathematically possible for ELS to make the finals, bookies have them at long odds.

SHADOWS NEAR SHIT
Wacky Races 27 19 181 def Darkness Eternal 17 17 119

In a crushing blow to the Shadows finals chances, the boys from Dark Park put in one of their worst performances for the year to hand the Cartoons a 62 point victory.

In what was billed as a day of history where every member of the Shadows outfit was a son of a former great, the sons of former greats let the reigning premiers down in their hour of need.

The Shadows have now backed themselves into a corner and will need to win the next two games and hope results in other games go their way in order to defend last years premiership. Many are now saying that their current position merely reflects that the win last year was indeed a fluke.

Coach Mutley however couldn't give a rats toss bag about the plight of the Shadows. He is more concerned with the race for the minor premiership.

Team	Played	Won	Lost	For	Against	Percentage	Points
Swan Gunners	12	9	3	2131	1875	113.65	36
Wakky Races	12	9	3	2045	1888	108.32	36
Party Animals	12	8	4	1951	1922	101.51	32
McHale's Navy	12	7	5	2003	1933	103.62	28
Darkness Eternal	12	6	5	1928	2021	95.40	24
Elliot's Last Shout	12	5	7	1966	2028	96.94	20
VVS Laxatives	12	2	10	1870	2007	93.17	8
University Wolves	12	2	10	1784	1999	89.24	8

full results

TEAM	G	B	P	TEAM	G	B	P
PARTY ANIMALS		V		VVS LAXATIVES
Forward				Forward
Neitz	1	1	7	Rocca	1	1	7
Fevola	5	2	32	Hall	6	1	31
Lynch	5	1	31	Welsh	3	0	18
Midfield				Midfield
Mitchell (dnp)				J Bowden	3	5	23
Scotland	5	3	33	Goodwin	5	0	30
Hodge	5	3	33	Crawford	4	3	27
Ruck				Ruck
Everitt	3	1	19	McIntosh	2	5	17
Tackler				Tackler
Ball	3	2	20	Josh Carr	1	4	10
Emerg				Emerg
O'Loughlin	1	0	6	G Ablett
TOTAL	28	13	181	TOTAL	25	19	169

TEAM	G	B	P	TEAM	G	B	P
UNIVERSITY WOLVES		V		McHALES NAVY
Forward				Forward
Franklin (dnp)				Lucas	0	0	0
Ebert	6	1	37	Didak	0	0	0
Schultz (dnp)				Gehrig	6	1	37
Midfield				Midfield
Hayes	4	5	29	K Cornes	4	5	29
Swan	4	2	26	S Black	5	0	30
Priddus	3	0	18	Lockyer	3	0	18
Ruck				Ruck
Fraser	3	1	19	Cox	4	5	29
Tackler				Tackler
Harris	6	4	40	J Bolton	5	5	35
Emerg				Emerg
Lewis (fwd)	0	0	0	Milne
TOTAL	26	13	169	TOTAL	27	16	178

TEAM	G	B	P	TEAM	G	B	P
ELLIOTS LAST SHOUT		V		SWANGUNNERS
Forward				Forward
Brown, J	3	3	21	Tredrea (dnp)
Johnson, Brad	0	2	2	Pavlich	4	1	25
Darcy	0	0	0	Lloyd	5	1	31
Midfield				Midfield
McLeod	3	1	19	B. Harvey	5	0	30
West (dnp)				Kerr	5	4	34
Houlihan, R	2	5	17	Cooney	2	1	13
Ruck				Ruck
Charman	4	1	25	Hudson	2	3	15
Tackler				Tackler
Kirk	5	5	35	McDonald	7	3	45
Emerg				Emerg
Hasleby	2	5	17	Goodes	0	1	1
TOTAL	19	22	136	TOTAL	30	14	194

TEAM				TEAM
WACKY RACES		V		DARKNESS ETERNAL
Forward				Forward
Tarrant	1	1	7	Russello Robertson	2	0	12
Mooney	2	3	15	Matthew Richardson	0	1	1
Corey Jones	7	4	46	Nico Reiwoldtson	4	2	26
Midfield				Midfield
Chad Cornes	3	4	22	Adam Simpson	3	5	23
Scott Thompson	5	0	30	Nathanio Foleyson	2	1	13
Embley	3	0	18	Jimmy Bartelloson	3	1	19
Ruck				Ruck
White	3	5	23	Simmondson	3	2	20
Tackler				Tackler
Casissi	3	2	20	Michael Rischitellison	0	5	5
Emerg				Emerg
T. Edwards				Ottenson
TOTAL	27	19	181	TOTAL	17	17	119

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