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Date Posted: 07:30:13 12/01/05 Thu
Author: just plain bfny
Subject: going old school cold turkey
In reply to: I can be coyotyl's suzi_q, too 's message, "YOU are the resident hypmotizer" on 15:32:28 11/30/05 Wed

I've done the patch and the gum and read about some new pill or something they've got now. Thought about hypnosis - I was hypmo-tized once in college as part of my psych 101 requirement to 'volunteer' as a guinea pig for a student experiment. It was very cool actually.

Anyway, about three weeks ago, I set Monday after Thanksgiving as the target date knowing we'd be staying with big smokers over the holiday weekend. I FEEL very serious about this one. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love cigarette smoking (the nicotene fix I presume) but I'm just tired of being a smoker. I also feel it's stupid to think about and prepare for my future and retirement and think about my kids as adults as I'm sneaking out at work and on weekends to light up. There's just too much history in my family to think I'll have any sort of future that doesn't involve early death or a host of circulatory/stroke problems (can you hear the self-pep talk going on here?). My dad has been a physical basketcase for well over a decade due primarily to cigarettes.

The last four days haven't been easy - cravings, foggy head, constantly thinking about cigarettes - however, I have not yet even come close to breaking down. Having been through this before (about 50 times), I just know that any day or any moment, the demon in my brain is going to do everything it can to convince me that I NEED and deserve just one cigarette. And if I give in, it'll be the beginning of the end of this attempt. I've got to avoid giving in that first time, and the only way I can figure to do that is to take it one craving at a time. At some point, I'm going to be able to go through those times/places where I ritually would light up and I'm not going to think about lighting up. The fight won't be over at that point, but I figure I just gotta do everything I can to get to that milestone and then worry about the rest later. I actually went eight days this summer without smoking - we were down in the Outer Banks with Toni's family and I just said to myself that it would be more trouble and aggravation to sneak smokes than to just stop for that time. It ended up being really easy. Sure enough, though, as soon as I got home and back into my daily rituals, I was smoking again. So, I take the the knowledge that I can go days at a time without a smoke with the knowledge that I have to beat the rituals into this.

but to reiterate, well....FUCK!!!!

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