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Date Posted: 12:25:33 04/21/03 Mon
Author: fiwee
Subject: My thoughts......(m)
In reply to: Jeanne 's message, "Funeral question" on 09:29:25 04/21/03 Mon

My close friend Pam's father-in-law died a couple of months ago. Zachary didn't know him, so we didn't take him to the funeral home or the ceremony. But her kids were there (ages 10, 8, & 3), and all their cousins were there as well. I was surprised at how well the children handled it. I saw one of the cousins, probably age 8, go up to the coffin and stroke his grandpa's hair as he talked to him. It was so sad to watch, but the child was handling it beautifully. Pam's 3 y.o. also wanted to touch his grandfather, and kept asking questions, but the answers they gave him based on our faith (that they'd see Grandpa in heaven again someday) were enough.

I think it's important to allow a child a time to say goodbye. My grandmother isn't in very good health and I've thought about how difficult it'll be for Zachary when she passes. I would let him go to the viewing and possibly the ceremony itself. He's just now able to sit fairly still through a short church service. I agree with the others who've said it depends on the child's personality.

I think I would explain what will happen at the viewing and the funeral and ask her if she wants to go. That's what I've decided to do with Zachary when my grandmother passes away.

So sorry about your loss. Let us know what happens.

Kari

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