Date Posted:02:01:23 12/30/06 Sat Author: Shok Subject: What can you give us In reply to:
Wally
's message, "What kind of debauchery would you require?" on 00:33:23 12/29/06 Fri
Hell, if 500 dollars is enough to get SWAP.avi, what does 500 euros give you? Snuff?
We would definitely need:
* (INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT) A scene where a suitcase is being lock-picked, but then it transforms into a woman in the next shot, but there is still a lockpick going into her vagina and she seems to be enjoying it.
* Lockmat then punches her in the face.
* Rape scene where Lockmat violates the woman while continuously referring to her as a suitcase. (Woman may be heard crying "I am not a suitcase!" in Portuguese. If this happens, Lockmat kicks her in the stomach.)
* At this point, a hairy man called "Poncho" enters the room, wearing a sombrero and eating a taco. (We possibly hear a recorded sitcom audience applause, complete with whistles and someone going "Oh yeah!" - This is optional.)
* Finally noticing the noisy rape, Poncho comically drops his taco on the floor while still holding his hand up and stares. He then takes a look at the camera and shouts "AY CARAMBA!", running out of the room. (Cue audience laugh track mixed w/ screams.)
* I'm not sure how to end this, but it should possibly involve setting the woman on fire and throwing her out of the hotel window.
* Prepared to provide extra 100 euro bonus if they find someone who looks like Andy Griffith.
* Note: Lockmat mumbles incoherently through the entire scene. Occasionally it is an arcane, other-worldly language no-one understands, but every once in a while it's about major league baseball. He also remarks how hard it is to get suitcases through airports these days.