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Date Posted: 19:32:18 09/28/99 Tue
Author: Maveric
Subject: Re: Me first stab at an i76 story (work in progress)
In reply to: AceEnglish [GUN] 's message, "Me first stab at an i76 story (work in progress)" on 11:09:22 09/28/99 Tue

I like it; a great read. It's a good start but keep going. Your discriptions are crisp and clear and it's got a nice sense of continuity. Only a few of the colloquialisms you used left me puzzled. I had to re-read them a few times to get the gist. Fortunately I have a buddy in the UK so I 'got' most of them. As for cultural errors, I think you should change this line:
"keep your smelly french fags to yourself"

The Americans in the audience might take it the wrong way :)

I also like the lengthy plug you did for my own serial story ;) (if you don't get this joke, go read The Badlands).

If you haven't, you should check out my ongoing fanfic and tell me what you think. No one's given me a real in depth critique, which is what I'm looking for.


The Badlands
http://homepages.infoseek.com/~mavericman/badlands1-10.txt

PS. Ever consider collaborating on a story?
Maveric

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