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Subject: time out..i need love advice ---just me MBA guy


Author:
MBA guy
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Date Posted: 17:24:20 06/23/03 Mon

hi guys..its me MBA guy..wasnt able to share my thoughts here recently due to some serious problems i had encountered..SO...Later na ako babalik sa aking kwelang MBA English Proficency Analysis..

I have a BF for two years already. Im 26 and he's 21.. we met in a very unusual situation 2 yrs ago and we had good times and memories to share..I work with the family business and he is still studying in reputable school

Having a lover is a good thing since you are made to share your feelings, thoughts accomplishments to someone and most of all..HELP one person to grow.

I was supposed to leave for US 2 yrs ago but when i met him, plans changed and I remained working here in the Philippines...Everything was OK..but One wrong thing I did in the relationship is that..I spoonfed him and tolerate him..

We are both extremes in personality, He is the irritable, temperamental and most of all VERY VERY VAIN... yes...he is really goodlooking that people will have second glance to look at him in public places. but that does not affect me. Me naman, was the quiet, mature, stable, strict, organized and most of all, Quiet type of guy who prefers "PEACE" rather arguments. ( syempre di rin patatalo sa looks dept.ganda ko!)

Spoonfed: he came from a very rich family who owns one of the biggest food chain in the philippines. However his parents are strict enough not to let him feel glamorous. so this guy, commutes.. have enough allowance to go to school. What I did was to fill those needs for him. I help him fix his body by going to gym everyday, expose him to difft events, shows, plays, taught him how to drive, tried to help him in his homework. gave him advices etc.etc. For him, I was the perfect BF.. someone who was there to help and supervise him especially his temper..and in return.. he was assuring me that he will love me for the rest of his life...which i did believe since there was no THIRD PARTY in our relationship.. we were so strong and very romantic to each other...Friends envy us most of them say were a perfect couple..both goodlooking ( ehem!) and sweet.and were transparent to each other ( EXCEPT, THAT HE DOESNT KNOW I LOVE BEAUTY PAGEANTS AND I LOVE READING THIS MESSAGEBOARD)

However, I felt everything was for granted. he started abusing me by demanding things which are not up to my reach. However try to make things possible for him. one situation is when. I was soooo. sick had a fever and he called me just to buy him " Creatine supplement" so i drove down to his place to deliver the goods.. yes..i know most of you will slap me on the face for my ' katangahan". He shouts at me, ask for a comment kung malaki na chest nya? or flawless na sya etc.etc and if i make a wrong answer..kaboom! buong gabi na yang pag aawayan...( in contrast i dont mind how i look and what i wear since for me. looks is secondary)..

But one thing for sure, i love him 100%.. my career and family is important so as he.. so i made sure i gave time for him. I invested so much love and accepted his weaknesses and make it sure to transform it as a strength.

In short i was able to transform him totally that people started to compliment him....

HOWEVER..i was wrong...lately he seems so cold and very concern of himself. I felt he got what he wanted and started to ignore me.. the most painful part was when, I told him i love you and he did not reply back.. i ask him thru text why and he said " I will only say I LOVE YOU" when i feel it..and now were " cool off" he is telling me things he needs time for himself and reinvent himself..and now were not in speaking terms...I am clueless...( WE BOTH KNOW DI NAMIN SINASAKAL ISAT ISA) although i know for a reason he is very possessive at me. We give time for ourselves, he can go out i can go out with friends or family...

BANG!!! the clouds turned dark and i felt i was misused for TWO YEARS!!!. I Hhave given so much love and passion and most of all PATIENCE AND COMMITMENT yet ,,this is what i get in loving too much????I felt it was a one way relationship.

My dear internet friends, i have no one to tell this, no one knows my identity except him, few friends and the internet people.. I know i cannot put everything here since it will consume too much space already But as good people here,, i need advice...

1. AM I wrong of loving him too much?
2. Should I not tolerate him too much?
3. SHould i let him go and find someone which can love me and handle a mature relationship?
4. OR should i try to change him ( although we talked about it several times but we end up fighting everyday).
5. SHOULD I GO BACK TO US AND FORGET EVERYTHING???


I dont want to generalize things but i guess " maturity" does matter in a relationship...he just came out from his shell, while I was busy fixing my future stability.2nd..it is dangerous pala to give 100% love to sumeone..i hope i am wrong...

I hope you can give me advice..
sorry for the non-related pageant issue and sorry for some grammar errors..

Ayoko na rin ng gwapo!!!..

CHILL PARE
MBA GUY

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Replies:
[> Subject: can i email you my advice? dont worry, di ako gwapo!


Author:
V.E.
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Date Posted: 18:06:22 06/23/03 Mon


[> Subject: You’re not alone MBA, a lot of guys here may have gone thru the same experience. It’s a good move you’ve opened up. Like you, my family does not know about my being gay. Good thing, I’m currently out of the country. In 4 months, I will be leaving my BF of 7 years! I’ve decided to just seek for local employment. I believe this relationship should not continue (and will not continue the way we want it) for I believe in what the Bible says about this kind of relationship (I used to be a seminarian before I took a second course). I am a practicing gay though this is my conviction. My partner, an Arab is also very good looking, and a lot of people cannot believe, I am the man in our relationship. I see him as my wife, though he is very straight-looking. (MORE…)


Author:
HalimawSB
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Date Posted: 18:37:09 06/23/03 Mon

Leaving him would be very painful I know, but when I look back, what I’ve gone thru, I can say that ending this relationship does not mean it’s the end of everything. I’ll do it for both of us. My lover cannot be my forever bottom. He’s getting married a few months from now. Though he said he wouldn’t let me go even after his marriage, I can’t meddle with his marriage. I have to let go of him so he can have his own life. Never allow this to happen that he comes back to you and blame you for what he has become! I helped my partner a lot of times. We had our ups and downs. There was a time his family all left him. He had no job I was the one who helped him survive, helped him find a job, trained him in computers, brought him out of the jail, helped him buy a car, arranged interview with his employer, etc, etc! Even if I say I did all so I can feel he’s mine, it wouldn’t happen. I tried looking for other partners so I could forget him, pero I keep coming back to him. He normally says “I love you”.. but don’t get fooled. Men like us, in general are but liars. At first, I was quite a jealous person and I could really think of all crazy plans I could imagine. I can’t count the number of times we promised not to see each other but nothing worked. So many times I asked myself why I got so much involved with this man. We had our fights, but I always fought with my silence. Would you believe that when he got a very good job, he never spoke to me for a month? Don’t be running after your partner. Give him time (and space) until he decides to contact you again. Mind you, when you give everything, your life loses its balance. This is what prompted me to open up to one of my sisters about myself. That was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done that though I gave her a hard time to accept the truth about me, the result was great. I feel better someone I know understands me and constantly prays for my life direction.

The hurts had made me stronger. When I go, the only consolation for me is for him to remember me from time to time, and presently, he calls me his best friend. Sarap pakinggan non though still, we still sleep together from time to time. When I leave this country, I’ll have to move on. Remember, don’t seek for love. It’ll come at the right time. For now, just keep yourself busy with some other things. I do painting from time to time. I keep upgrading my technical skills to prepare me for my future job and I guess this is a good investment for me after all the heartaches and financial “losses” this relationship has brought me. If it’s your first time, it’s really hurtful, but after some time, you will be thankful it ended early (as the wound may not be so deep and the lessons learned are to be cherished forever). About your 100% sacrifice, a friendly advice, never ever do that again. Keep something for yourself. If you lose a lover/friend, remember to count your other blessings like your family and cherished friends. This MB has helped me has so entertaining rin where you can meet new friends. Most important of all, speak to God thru prayers and he surely will help you survive and be back on your feet again. Never expect your friend to return to you the love you have for him. I just hope he will realize your worth, and come back to you even as a friend. If you can do this, God will surely grow little wings in you during your healing period. I hope this helps… Cheers!
[> [> Subject: sori... i mean after his "wedding", not marriage. i've got some work so i just hurried to type this looooooong reply.


Author:
hsb
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Date Posted: 18:40:32 06/23/03 Mon


[> Subject: No you are not wrong for loving me. You were wrong when you gave everything and leave nothing for yourself. It would be difficult to stand-up then. Next time when you fall in love, leave something for yourself, and always condition yourself that almost all gay relationships never last. This will help you ready yourself for future break-ups.


Author:
Mr. Food Chain
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Date Posted: 18:53:35 06/23/03 Mon


[> Subject: I've been through these episodes myself dear....read on...


Author:
chez
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Date Posted: 19:22:23 06/23/03 Mon

Hey, chill out. I know how you feel right now, coz I have been through such relationship as well. I too have been so much in love with a guy 2 years younger than me. I have sacrificed so much for him but it ended so soon. The relationship ended with him leaving me in tears for quite a while. Well, he is not that good looking but I love him dearly. He actually plays basketball for La Salle. And I think fame took him away from me. I was fortunate to have my family to support me through this ordeal. Yes, my family knows about him and is not againsts him for he was nice to them as well. Until now, I still love him. And I never stop expressing my feelings to him even through text. Unfortunately he doesn't reply anymore. I am shattered for what has happened. I have supported him in all his endeavours but he left me just like that. All my friends advised me to get him out of my system. But it just wont do. It pisses me when I see him play on t.v. for it reminds me more of how far we are from each other now. I love him dearly. But maybe this is the penalty for loving a STRAIGHT guy. I share your sentiments deary.. And I pray that you'll find someone better soon.

[> Subject: Hi there MBA Guy - based on my experience, I guess when you love someone, you must not give your 100% - maybe you can only give 99% if you love him too much - at least kahit papano kung mawawala sya you still have 1% left for you na pwede mo pang palaguin uli as time goes by. Always remember, in a relationship, it should be give and take - not give and give and take and take. If he feels cold towards your relationship - then its about time that you think - Bakit? anong rason - does he deserve you or do you deserve him. Sa tingin ko - in yr situation, its his loss not yours. Try to give him freedom at the moment and give him space - let the two of you contemplate on what is good for both of you. Only time can tell..


Author:
Aileen Damiles
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Date Posted: 19:42:45 06/23/03 Mon


[> Subject: Re..Kung ngayon mo pa lang ito naranasan, (I mean first experience to have a serious BF), sa tanang buhay mo, na maging isang kang dakilang TANGA.... be GLAD and MERRY!......Why o why? Dahil, you gave all your best shot! Hindi niya ito puwedeng makalimutan sa tanang buhay niya, na minsan me isang magandang nilalang na katulad mo, na nag-bigay ng lahat, dahil sa pagmamamhal. At walang masama doon, naging sobra man ito o naging kulang kumabaga, hindi na puwedeng i-question, because YOU LOVE HIM!..........Sabi nga, walang permanente dito sa mundo, lahat me katapusan…accept the fact kung mawalan man ng isang minahal mo, eh ano kung masakit, of course sa una lang iyan..sino bang hindi nasaktan? ….but, move on..and find another new love..ke short live ang relasyon, o nag tagal ng sampung taon, the bottom line is, naging maligaya ka sa pag-alay ng pagmamahal mo, at ang importante...… YOU LOVED..


Author:
silent virgin? (sara jane paez)
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Date Posted: 19:56:19 06/23/03 Mon


[> Subject: well, don't despair... it is good that it happened to you as early as now, while you are still young and capable of bouncing back. However, no one can really assess the situation more than you can. Ours are just mere words of precaution or advice. No matter what you plan to do, always remember that you may only share your love, but not your "life". You should have your own life - one that is devoid of attachments. Go on, have a relationship, share your love,but not your life, because your life is not for you to share, but for you to enjoy... Go on, follow your heart and enjoy while it lasts... (ooops, trabaho muna ako... dagdagan ko na lang ulit ito MBA Guy sa susunod...)


Author:
MANANAYAW
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Date Posted: 19:57:10 06/23/03 Mon


[> Subject: MBA GUY.....ITO LANG ANG ADVICE KO SA IYO....DALAWANG KANTA LANG IYAN...UNAHIN MONG PAKINGGAN ANG 'THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL' ..YUNG VERSION NI WHITNEY HOUSTON HA...PAKINGGAN MONG MABUTI ANG LYRICS, SABAYAN MO NA RIN NG PAGEEMOTE AT LIPSYNC. TIGNAN MO ANG SARILI MO SA SALAMIN...SIGE TITIGAN MONG MABUTI...HAYAN, GANYAN NGA IBUKA MO PA ANG BIBIG MO SA PAGAWIT..O DI BA ANG GANDA MO....PANGALAWANG KANTA......SOMEDAY BY MARIAH CAREY...GANOON DIN ANG GAWIN MO...SABAYAN MO PA NG PAGINDAK, HAYAN O DI BA ANG SAYA MO NA!!!!! BWAHHAHAHAH!


Author:
GEE KAY
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Date Posted: 02:05:09 06/24/03 Tue

[> [> Subject: At pagkatapos, kantahin mo ang pam-finale...yung kay APRIL BOY...."DI KO KAYANG TANGGAPIN, NA MAWAWALA KA NA SA AKIN......" LUKARET KA TALAGA GEE KAY!!!!


Author:
Galit Sa Bobo
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Date Posted: 07:14:13 06/24/03 Tue



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