| Subject: This I Offer 1/20 |
Author:
Athena4
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Date Posted: 15:00:45 03/03/02 Sun
In reply to:
Athena4
's message, "This I Offer" on 14:58:36 03/03/02 Sun
It seemed as if the briefing would never end.
Paul sat at the table, fingers steepled in front of him. Without shifting position, he watched Adrian pace before the table, once again impressed by how her steady gait gave power to her small stature. She was a formidable woman.
A fact that she had proven beyond a doubt with this briefing.
Shifting his gaze only slightly, he looked at Madeline. She sat calmly on the far side of the table, her hands placed carefully before her, her eyes fixed on Adrian. Outwardly, she appeared unaffected. What was going on inside was beyond even his careful gaze.
In the past several weeks, he and Madeline had grown closer. Although she continued to keep him at arms’ length, she was slowly beginning to accept what they meant to each other. She was warming up to the idea of having someone in her life that she could trust, someone who trusted her in return. And she was finally beginning to understand that he had no intention of ever hurting her.
Adrian was going to blow it all to hell. And there was nothing either one of them could do about it.
*****
“We need to talk.”
Madeline looked up from her terminal to find Paul standing, arms crossed, in the doorway of her office. Inwardly, she sighed. She didn’t want to deal with him now. She knew what he was going to say, knew what his concerns were. Why couldn’t he let things lie?
“Not here. Not now,” she replied curtly, turning back towards her monitor. “I have things to do before egress. As do you.”
“Madeline…” he began again, stepping further into her office, a look of near-desperation on his face.
Knowing he wouldn’t give up, she leaned back in her chair, sliding the keyboard away from the edge of the desk and deactivating the surveillance. “All right,” she said softly. “We’ll talk.”
Closing the door behind him, Paul walked towards her desk, stopping before it to look down at her. “Why is she doing this? There are other ways, other operatives.”
“They’re not as good as we are,” she said, pausing for a moment to let her words sink in. “It’s a standard profile, Paul. There’s nothing malicious about it.” Even as she said the words, Madeline knew it was a lie. And looking up into his eyes, she knew he knew too.
“Bullshit,” he swore, pacing before her desk. Frustration emanated from his body. She knew he felt helpless, but could say nothing to comfort him. “She knows your history…does she know about us?”
“I don’t know,” she replied, standing and sliding the chair around to the far side of the desk. She gestured for him to sit, seating herself on the edge of her desk. “She’s been riding me hard lately. Harder than usual. She may suspect.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, running a hand through his dark hair. “We should have been more careful.”
Madeline shook her head. “It wouldn’t have mattered.”
“So what do we do?”
Madeline smiled slightly, looking down at him from her perch. “We follow the profile. There’s no choice here, Paul. You know that.”
“I made you a promise,” he said quietly, stroking her thigh. “I wanted it to be different.”
“It will be,” she replied, taking his hand in both of hers. “Don’t make this more than it is. It’s a mission. We’ve both performed similar profiles. This one is no different.”
And it wasn’t. She’d gone over the parameters, she’d planned for discrepancies, she’d ensured that every eventuality was covered. It was a simple trip – Paris to Stockholm - and a by-the-book mission. But one aspect of the profile was making them both uncomfortable. And it was that detail that had driven Paul to her office, and caused a pit of fear to lodge in her own stomach.
“Are you all right?”
The voice broke through Madeline’s reverie, and she turned back towards Paul, suddenly aware that she was squeezing his hand tighter than before. Loosening her grip, she mentally chastised herself for allowing her anxiety to show through. “I’m fine,” she lied, removing her hands completely from his and crossing her arms before her.
Paul’s brow creased in worry. Pushing his chair back, he stood before her, grasping her arms gently. “Please stop,” he said, stroking her arms. “If we’re going to get through this – I need you to be honest with me. No more hiding.”
“I can do this,” she replied, almost to herself. She avoided Paul’s eyes, focussing instead on her crossed arms. “I’ve done Valentine missions before.”
“This is different, and you know it. Look at me.”
Slowly, she raised her eyes. “It had to be you,” she said quickly, shaking her head. “She’s trying to place a wedge between us. She’s hoping this is the way.”
“I know,” he said gravely. “It’s a betrayal. Of everything I promised. I wanted never to hurt you. ”
Madeline didn’t argue. That was exactly what it felt like. A betrayal. She knew it shouldn’t – she knew they had no choice. But irrationality was winning out. Which was just what Adrian wanted.
“How could she have known?” Paul continued.
She couldn’t help chuckling at this, and dropped her hands, reaching out once more to take Paul’s hand. “My issues with trust are hardly a secret. Although I think only Adrian – and you – have been insightful enough to see them for what they really are, instead of passing judgement.” She paused, smiling wryly. “I know what people say.”
“People don’t matter.”
Madeline smiled again. If only things were as simple as Paul made them out to be. Squeezing his hand, she stood, guiding him back towards the door of the office. “I can do this,” she said with renewed determination. “I’ll be fine. This time Adrian may have underestimated me.”
“But- “ he began, but she cut him off, standing and opening the door to her office.
“We both need to prepare. I’ll see you in eight hours at the final briefing.”
He stood still for almost a full minute, staring at her in the doorway, before he took a step towards it. “All right,” he conceded, his face still awash with concern. “But, you don’t need to do this alone. “
“Eight hours,” she repeated, dismissing him as gently as possible. She didn’t want him to see the truth. Couldn’t let him see that she wasn’t certain that it would be “fine”.
It’s only a mission, she thought to herself, leaning heavily against the back of the door. That’s what she told him, and that’s what she wanted to believe. But Adrian’s profile would put their relationship to the test – and she wasn’t sure that it would survive, no matter how determined she was to make it last.
In a little over twelve hours, an old wound would be cruelly reopened – with Paul holding the blade.
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