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Subject: Vows Made - general comments


Author:
L'Autre
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Date Posted: 12:02:26 08/02/01 Thu
In reply to: codename: Tabitha 's message, "Part 1/? (depends on the board)" on 19:14:14 07/22/01 Sun

Teaching moment: can you find the errors in these examples from the first chapter of the story?

Ten years had it really been that long?

...and their were my friends...

...allowed to see me as other then Operations...

“ They’re not ours but they are differently, Section.”

...but why where one when your not on a mission?

My father showing me in the only way he knew how and Michael with his every action in those last days.


You have a nice clear story line here, i.e. Adam grows up and Michael comes back to Nikita. It's tough to read, however, when the story is so filled with punctuation, spelling, grammar and general construction errors. You might find it helpful to use a picky (and honest) beta reader to aid you in catching these things.

There are generally two schools of thought on fanfiction: Those writers who believe in sticking very close to the characters and endeavoring to make the story work within the context of what we know of their emotion and motivation, and there are those who prefer to take the characters more into their own fantasies. Personally, and this is just me, I subscribe to the former theory. I have a hard time, for instance, with much of your dialogue for Michael as I just can't quite hear it coming from the Michael I knew for 4 years. Same too with the operatives' action and dialogue at the bed & breakfast - I just couldn't visualize it based on what we know of Section. (I'd hate to think it became that ham-handed under 10 years of Nikita's supervision!) At any rate, chalk this up to the comments of someone who, as I said, prefers to stick to the more 'realistic' sort of fanfic. A really good one seems to play in the mind's eye almost as if watching an episode - with the added benefit of the writer's explanation (through narrative) of the characters' thoughts and motivations.

It's great that you enjoy writing and I encourage you to continue working at it. Like anything, it gets better with practice. And try hooking up with a good beta reader to smooth over some of the technical stuff :)

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Replies:
Subject Author Date
How did i miss this?? Thanks for your comments but some clarificaiton would be appercitaed.codename: Tabitha20:03:59 08/10/01 Fri


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