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Martin the Warrior Arena/Message Board
GAME ON!
Welcome to the Martin the Warrior Arena. Here you can chat and experience the Coolest Game in Mossflower.
Back to the MHL Home Page

Subject: SEX DRUGS, SEX TOOLS; NATURAL MEDICINES, RC MODELS, AIRSOFT GUNS, HOBBY ITEMS, CAR EQUIPMENT


Author:
Dr Zhivago
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 09:04:01 02/08/14 Sat


LEARN ABOUT SEXUALLY STIMULATING HERBS - also herbal sex products

http://www.abicana.com/sexual_herbs.htm

Many common spices and vegetables as well as meny more exotic herbs have strong boosting effects on the sexual lust and ability, or can help solve sexual problems, especially if used in combination.

This page contains a short lexicon of these herbs and some products based on combinations of such herbs are presented.

yohimbe, damiana, cuscuta, cordyceps, muira puama, ginger, cayenne, cardamom, ginseng, roseroot, hawthorn, raspberry, chinnamon, fo-ti, garlic and many more.

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SEX TOYS AND SEX TOOLS FOR MEN AND WOMEN

Please go here to find sex toys and products to enhance potency and pleasure for men and women

http://www.abicana.com/erotic_toys.htm

Tools and toys for pleasant erotic massage and to play with your genital organs and all other sensual body parts. Exciting things to put in through your seintimate openings to make good feelings. Also pills and creams for women to enhance pleasure, intensify orgasms and to make stronger female functions. Perfumes to arouse and attract women and men. Pills, topicals and devices for penis and breast enhancement. Pills and creams to make bigger and better erections, increase pleasure and intensify orgasms. Remedies to prevent premature ejaculations.




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PRODUCTS TO IMPROVE POTENCY AND GENITAL FUNCTIONS, ITEMS TO INCREASE PLEASURE AND ORGASMIC POWER

Natural products to make your penis get erect more easily, to make the erections bigger, to give you stable erections and to make your penis stand longer. Also devices to make the penis bigger. Also products to intensify the sexual responses of women.
Pills and creams for men and women to enhance pleasure, intensify orgasms and to make stronger female functions. Perfumes to arouse and attract women and men. Pills, topicals and devices for penis and breast enhancement. Pills and creams to make bigger and better erections, increase pleasure and intensify orgasms. Remedies to prevent premature ejaculations.



http://www.abicana.com/shop3.htm



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PRODUCTS TO HELP FOR YOUR DISEASES AND MAKE YOU FIT AND BEAUTIFUL

Help for many problems in all organ systems: Hemorrhoids, edema, hypothyroidism, poor concentration and memory, heart problems, over-weight, prinary tract infection, yeast infection, endometriosis, premenstrual syndrome, constipation, Somach problems like IBS - irritable nowel syndrome,acne, vitiligo, aging symptoms, AIDS, allergies, Alzheimers disease/dementia, angina,
arthritis (osteoarthritis), arthritis (rheumatoid arthritis), asthma, attention deficit disorder (ADD), bad breath, burns, carpal tunnel syndrome,
cholesterol, cronic bronchitis, chronic cough, chronic fatigue sydrom, cognitive problems, colds, acne, rosacea, eczema, wrincles, psoriasis, other skin problems

http://www.abicana.com/shop2.htm


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ADVICES TO IMPROVE HEALTH, FITNESS AND SEXUAL SATISFACTION

A lot of good advices to cure common health problems and to give generally good fitness and health. You will also find advices for training, to keep yourself young, to get muscular strength and to get good condition. You can also read advices for excining sex activities, including rectal and genital masturbation.

http://www.abicana.com/health_information.htm

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HELP AGAINST HYPOTHYROIDISM OR SLUGGISH THYROID AND AGINST OTHER HORMONAL PROBLEMS

Sluggish thyroid gives symptoms like: Fatigue, depression, constipation, over-weight, poor memory, brittle nails, dry and thin hair, dry skin and general uneasyness. Also help for diabetes. All symptoms need not occur.

http://www.abicana.com/shop2a.htm


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NATURAL HELP FOR EDEMA - LYMPHEDEMA

Help for water retension in various body parts resulting in swelling and puffyness and for diseases causing water retension, like circulatory problems, digestive problems and rheumatism.

http://www.abicana.com/shop2d1.htm


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HELP AGAINST HEMORRHOIDS AND STOMACH PROBLEMS - STOMACH CLEANSING

Natural cures or support for: Hemorrhoids, constipation, stomach pain, stomach inflammations, GERD, diarrhoea. Stomach cleansing products.

http://www.abicana.com/shop2d.htm


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NATURAL HELP FOR COLD AND FLU

Help for respiratory infections. Based on proven effective ingredients like: Vitamin C, Bromelain, Spirulina , Astragulus, Echinacea Purpurea, Golden Seal 3 Elderberry and others.

http://abicana.com/shop2m.htm


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HELP FOR URINARY AND GENITAL PROBLEMS IN MEN AND WOMEN

Help for urogenital ailments like: urinary tract infection - UTI, yeast infection, premenstrual syndrome - PMS, prostata problems, menopause problems and other men's and women's problems.

http://www.panteraconsulting.com/salg2b.htm


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HELP FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS AND RELATED ISSUES

Help for depression, anxiety, poor memory, poor concentration, dementia, insomnia, restlessness, tension, ADHD and other mental problems.

http://www.panteraconsulting.com/salg2p.htm


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HELP FOR PROBLEMS IN THE JOINTS, TENDONS AND MUSCLES - PRODUCTS AGAINST RHEUMATISM

Help for ailments in the joints, tendons, muscles ans scheleton - rheumatic conditions. Natural help for pain conditions, immobility and functional problems in joints and muscles. Help for joint pain, bursitis, arthritis, osteoarthritis, carpal tunnel syndrome, fibromyalgia, joint injuries, muscle ache

http://www.panteraconsulting.com/salg2c.htm


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PRODUCTS TO HELP YOU LOSE WEIGHT AND GET SLIM

Natural drugs to increase fat burning and to reduce a too eager appetite so that you more easily get slim. Also slimming advices.

http://www.abicana.com/how_to_get_slim.htm


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PRODUCTS TO HELP FOR ISSUES IN THE HEART AND BLOOD CIRCULATION

Help for heart problems and much more: Congested heart, high cholesterole, varicose veins, anemia, atherosclerosis

http://www.panteraconsulting.com/salg2e.htm


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ANTI-AGING PRODUCTS AND HELP FOR SKIN PROBLEMS

Acne, eczema, rosacea,wrinkles, pspriais, stretchmarks, vitiligo, warts and more. Also comsetics from all the world's good producents for reduced prizes.

http://www.panteraconsulting.com/salg5.htm



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HOBBY PRODUCTS AND TECHNICAL PRODUCTS

RC Models of Cars, Helicopters, Boats, Airplanes, Drones. All types of hobby items, included: Remote controle models of cars, helicopters, airplanes,boates. Chemistry kits, science kits, electronics sets, airsoft guns, building sets and a lot more

http://www.mydeltapi.com

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AIRSOFT AND PINTBALL GUNS AND TANKS

AEG electric, spring and gas driven airsoft and paintball guns and Tanks. Airsoft replicas of real famous guns, modern and historical.

http://www.mydeltapi.com/guns.htm


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EQUIPMENT FOR CARS AND VEHICLES

Parts for motor, transmission, suspension, breaks, stearing, body, lights, exhaust, fluel lines, cabin, styling, performance, security and more. Also garage tools.

http://www.panteraconsulting.com/shop10.htm'

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WATCHES AND JEWELRY

Jewelry with gold, silver, platina, diamonds, sapphires, ruby, ametyst, agate, onyx, emeralds and much more. Watches for all type of use, casual watches, party time watches, sport watches, dive watches, chronometers.

http://www.mydeltapi.com/watches.htm

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BARGAINS ON ALL TYPE OF PRODUCTS

Bargains on all types of products: Health, fitness, hobby, automotive, fashion, skincare, jewelry.

http://www.panteraconsulting.com/bargains.htm

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SOME IMPORTANT KNOWLEDGE

Congested Prostate or Blue Balls

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Vasocongestion or blue balls is a condition with symptoms like swollen and painful testicles and prostate region and there are often cramping. It most often occurs in teenage boys or young men when they have been sexually aroused for a long time without having orgasm.

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About Vasocongestion or Blue Balls, How to Prevent or Treat It

By vascocongestion (blue balls) the testicles and the scrotum are typically swollen and tender. The prostate region can also be swollen, have cramps and be aching. The scrotum can also get a darker color. The symptoms usually go away by themselves after some time, typically after an hour, but it can persist or occur frequently.

The condition can occur in any age, but most often in boys during puberty and in young men, when the genital region is more active than in other ages. It is often seen in teenage boys that for some reason do not have the opportunity to get an orgasm and ejaculation in several days. Blue balls seems to be a frequent issue in some communities around the world or in certain ambients like boarding schools for boys, but in other communities it seems not to be any issue at all. In UK and North America the condition seems to be a frequent issue, but it is seldom heard of in for example Scandinavia.

The cause of the condition is often a prolonged sexual arousal with an engorged penis and perineal region without orgasm and ejaculation. During sexual arousal veins leading blood from the genital and perineal area constrict, so that blood and lymph accumulates. By this condition the constriction of the veins does not go back but develop into prolonged cramps. Then excessive amount of blood and lymph will accumulate and stay. The blood will also loose oxygen so that it gets a bluish color.

The accumulation of lymph and blood then squeezes the tube that leads from each testicle, through the prostate and into the urethra, the Vas deferens, and clogs it. Then secretions made by the testicles and the prostate will also accumulate and increase the pressure even more. At some points the condition leads to accute symptoms. After some time the cramps and symptoms will usually cease.

Clogged vas deference or prostate can be prevented by having regular orgasms, either by sex or regular masturbation. One can also prevent blue balls by massage of the region between the legs, the testicles and the penis. This can be done by hands or by using a vibrator. Masturbation or massage of this region is also a good cure for the condition in its acute stage.

Ordinarily blue balls or related conditions are not dangerous. Sometimes it is however impossible to get an erect penis go down again even after several hours. By this condition, called priapism, where the blood vessels in the penis are clogged by permanent cramps or other causes, the inner tissue of the penis can be destroyed if it is not treated emergently. By the treatment one usually empties the stuffed blood from the penis by a small cut.

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Knut Holt is an Internet marketer and author with a focus on health items and eroticism. Please see his web-site to find more health and sex information. There are also presentation of products to enhance sexual satisfaction and to improve health.


http://www.abicana.com


This article is free to copy as long as the author's link is present.


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Knut Holt is an Internet marketer and author with a focus on health items and eroticism. Please see his web-site to find more health and sex information. There are also presentation of products to enhance sexual satisfaction and to improve health.

http://www.abicana.com/health_information.htm


This article is free to copy as long as the author's link is present.
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Knut Holt is an Internet marketer and author with a focus on health items and eroticism. Please see his web-site to find more health and sex information. There are also presentation of products to enhance sexual satisfaction and to improve health.



http://www.abicana.com

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Urine Therapy - Urine Used to Treat Diseases

Urine is used as a drug to treat several diseases, both in the traditional medicine in many places in the world and by some modern western naturopathic therapists. Here you can read about the claimed healing effects of urine and how urine is administered when used for therapy.

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urine,therapy,urine,used as,medicine,drug,to heal,to treat,treatment for,disease

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Using urine as a medicine has a long tradition in some societies, especially in the eastern part of the world. Urine is an important remedy in the Indian ayurvedic healing tradition. Also some natural therapists in the western societies recommend it as a therapeutic tool.

When it comes straight from the bladder it is free from microbes, unless the person suffers from an urinary tract infection. It contains water, urea, several types of dissolved salts, several substances with hormonal effects and enzymes. The composition of the urine makes therapeutic effects seem possible.

There is however little strict scientific documentation about this substance used as a drug. The following information is therefore given without any definite recommendations nor any definite warning against trying this method, except that it should not replace other types of therapies for serious disease that have a documented effect.

THE EFFECTS CLAIMED FOR URINE THERAPY

There are claims from proponents that this therapy can help for virtually any chronic disease process and that urine effectively prevents and drives back infections. There are also strong claims that it can help reverse aging signs and help heal damages caused by degenerative diseases of virtually any kind.

The total extent of these claims are probably exaggerated, but they can be summed up in this way: Urine might help the immune system to work more effectively and it might stimulate the general repair mechanisms in the body to work better. Such general effects will of source be useful by many types of health problems.

Since some natural therapists claim that the substance can help against virtually any disease, both trivial and serious, a total list of the applications of urine will be impossible to make in a short space. Here are however some concrete uses listed:

It is a good remedy to clean the oral cavity and the teeth, probably better than many tooth pastes, and it is totally free. This effect is well documented, but some might find it distasteful to use urine as a means for oral hygiene. It is also claimed to be a good remedy against sores and infections in the oral cavity.

Some people find that urine taken orally gives a stimulating effect physically and psychologically that helps them to cope in the daily struggle at work and at home. Some also find urine to be sexually stimulating. Morning urine voided before sunrise might however give a tranquilizing effect upon stress and restlessness, which can make meditation and other yoga practices more effective. These effects might also be useful for treatment of nervous problems.

Some therapists claim that orally taken urine gradually cures diabetes or makes the condition less serious. When using the therapy for this purpose it is important to measure the blood sugar level cautiously and gradually reduce the dose of insulin if the therapy works, but not before one sees that it works by dropping blood sugar levels.

Drinking urine might help against problems in the reproductive system, like PMS, menstrual problems and problems with getting pregnant. In these cases man and wife are recommended to drink each others urine.

Urine used orally might help to clean the digestive system from stuffed wastes and alleviate symptoms like constipation, bloating and cramps. Drinking it is also claimed to help against impairment in the kidney function and symptoms caused by kidney failure, like edema.

Urine used upon the skin might help against sores, itching, rashes of various kind and symptoms of aging. It is also claimed to be a good remedy against the same problems in the eyes and ears when applied at the site or used as a flushing fluid. The substance is also claimed to be a good antiseptic remedy to use on sores and on the skin.

Urine used on body areas might help against numbness and neurological impairments in these areas. Some claim urine can alleviate or cure more severe neurological problems like paralysis and cerebral palsy when used on extensive body areas and at the same time taken orally.

Urine applied on body areas afflicted by arthritis and other rheumatic condition might alleviate the pain and stiffness due to these conditions, and this might be combined with urine taken orally to give full help against rheumatism.

When applied onto the scalp it is used against hair loss. Old urine is said to be best, and often it is blended with other ingredients that stimulate hair growth.

Sniffing some urine into the nose or flushing the nose with urine might help for infections and allergies in the upper respiratory organs and in the head.

By lack of any other fluid to drink, one might save oneself from dying of thirst by drinking all of ones own urine, but one must begin drinking it a soon as the lack of fluid begins for this advice to be effective.

HOW TO ADMINISTER URINE AS A MEDICINE

The recommendations for practical use of urine as a drug vary considerably among proponents and therapists, especially regarding the doses. These are however some typical recommendations:

In most cases one is advised to use one's own urine. Therapists generally recommend using the middle part of the first urine stream you void in the morning, and after having washed the genitals. Some prefer to let it stay some days in a sealed box at a cold dark place before use with the claim that it gets more effective then.

Therapists advocating urine therapy will often recommend a special types of diet to make the cure effective and to avoid bad taste and smell from the urine. Since many of these therapists work in an Indian yoga tradition the diet advices can be rather strict. The advices also seem contradictory because they forbid certain types of food that can be therapeutic against the very same diseases that the urine therapy is supposed to treat, and the adherence to the advices can also give certain problems caused by deficit of nutrients.

What is recommended by these therapists is a natural diet with little of no animal food, salt, oil and spices. It is probably not health for persons living an active western lifestyle to adhere strictly to these advices, but keep in mind that they could guide your diet to some extent.

Your diet should of course be natural and you should avoid eating much red meat, but most people should eat fish and seafood. Consuming great amounts of oil and fat is not good, but you should have some natural oil in your diet. People generally consume too much salt, but in hot weather and by hard work you need some extra salt. Spices make the food tasty and some types of spices may also stimulate healing. You should however not consume so great amount of any spice that you feel it irritates.

One way of using urine is to drink it. The oral administration of urine is recommended by health problems in all body parts. One drinks it on empty stomach to get best effect. One only takes 5-10 drops twice a day in the beginning. Within a month one increases the dose up to 2 deciliters (0.84 US cup) twice a day.

When using only small doses, these should be kept for a while under the tongue before swallowing it. By larger doses you should flush each sip around in the mouth before swallowing. Some proponents also advice to drink urine every second week and pause every second week when you use the maximal daily doses.

Another usage method is to massage the urine onto areas of the skin where there is some skin ailment, then let dry and wait some hours before washing it away. One can also apply packings wet in urine at the skin for some hours. This method is said to be effective for treatment of most skin problems. If you massage greater body areas with the substance, you might get the same general benefits as by drinking it.

For problems in the nose and upper respiratory organs, one can sniff some drops of urine into the nose, or flush the nose with it. This method is said also to influence the whole body beneficially.

For problems in the oral cavity and the teeth you can simply flush your mouth with the urine and brush the teeth with the brush dipped in it. This can of course be combined with drinking it.

Urine is not only used to treat diseases, but proponents also recommend using urine as a regular remedy to prevent disease, improve fitness and avoid aging problems. Used in this way the regular daily dose should be less than that used to cure a specific disease, perhaps one glass a day.

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS

Side effects from urine therapy are not well investigated, just like therapeutic effects.

Many people will find the substance distasteful and this sensual or psychological effect can cause nausea and tendencies to throw up after having ingested a dose, but the effect tend to go away after some time. The effect is more dependent upon education and culture that the physical taste and effect of urine.

People taking high doses each day for some period report feeling sleepy and tired after some time, but it is claimed that this side effect will go away by continued use. By pausing each second week, it will probably be avoided.

There are warnings against using urine therapy together with pharmaceutical drugs, because the combined effects can cause problems. If you take other drugs you should at least be cautious when beginning urine therapy and give act about any symptoms of side effects.

Taking more than about half a liter each day might disturb the electrolytic balance in the body, since urine contains surplus salt not needed that you recirculate to some extent by drinking urine. Especially people with heart problems or high blood pressure should be cautious about high doses.


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Knut Holt is a business consultant and marketer focusing on the health field. At his site there are more information about health and fitness. You can also find presentation of products to improve health, and of products in the categories hobby, automotive and apparel.

http://www.panteraconsulting.com/salg2.htm

This article is free to copy as long as the author's link is present.


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Does Hollywood Engineer Teen Celebrities
By Knut Holt
http://www.abicana.com

When looking at celebrities like Britney Spears, Justin Bieber and other similar that were detected by Hollywood managers at an early life, one can observe the following:

- They show a ceratin charm but their charm is strictly standardized.
- They are nice looking, but seldome real beauties.
- They have a vey standard face and body, exceopt that they use to be very slim.
- They have a prepubertal body shape, voice and appearance.
- They do not show any grat creativity. They might have it, but it is not used at stage.
- Their songs and artistic performances look engineered and according to a strict cultural standard.
- Their performances seems to be engineered in such a way that they trigger certain simple psychological mechanisms in a young audience.
- They generally look and perform as if they are drugged or hypnotized.
- They generally look and perform in a way that trigger a certain very controlled and standardizes sexual responce in the autience.

This makes it naturlly to question if Hollywood have a practice of engineering young performersin order to use them as a tool to exploit a young audience, and that the engineering is performed this way:

- They look for young people that have a cartain talent, have a standard body and face, look moderately well, have a cartain charm, but are not eccelent in any way and generally lack great creativity.
- They set them on drugs to postpone their pubertal development so that they look like prepubertal boys or girls many years.
- They set them on drugs and hypnotize them to make them behave in a standardized and prepubertal way.
- They even let the young person go through surgery in their genitals to stop or reduce their pubertal development and growth.
- They engineer simple songs and performances for them with strictlyc ontrolled elements that they know have a psychological hypnotic and attractive impact on a teenage public.
- They produce a history of how the artist was detected that may contain some true elements, but that mostly is fictive.
- They manage all aspects of their personal life and daily schedule.

In some instances it also looks like the parents of a child has sold the child to the Hollywood artist industry to let they engineer a strictly controlled artist of him or her. In those cases it seem that teh child from a very early age is subjected to drugs, surgeries, training and psychological manipulations to produce the engineered artist.

Such behavioral engineering is never perfect, and at some stage one must expect the young people to try to brake away from it. This is also exactly what one can see when they get around 18-20 years old.

Most of these artists will at some point begin to behave according to their own will, but in a bizzarre way, making people ask if they are psychologically sane, and steadily make embarrassing situations.

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Knut Holt is an internet marketer interested in the health field. For male and female sex products, for natural products against edema, hemorrhoids, poor memory and concentration, hypothyroidism, over-weight, congested heart, acne, diabetes, UTI, yeast infection, insomnia, and for products for other problems in the muscles, joints, windpipe, stomach, nervous system, circulation and hormonal system, please see his web-site. Also more information about health, sex, training and fitness.

http://www.abicana.com/shop3.htm

This article is free to copy as long as the author's link is present.

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Subject: Edwins Restaurant Best Caribbean Feast in Canada


Author:
Sanita John
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 23:10:28 02/26/12 Sun

You can find the best Caribbean Feast Restaurants in Canada. Take a time a get visited to Edwins Restaurant. We are committed to ensure that your visit to our establishment will be most enjoyable and memorable. All our menu selections are freshly done.

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Subject: Loans


Author:
Loans
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 21:50:47 11/13/05 Sun

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Subject: Jimi Jr.


Author:
Psychic Spy
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 16:53:48 02/19/03 Wed


Click on image.

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Subject: MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUSSSSSS


Author:
atchke
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 00:08:36 07/07/01 Sat

(Scene: A bookshop. A Bookseller is standing behind the counter. Arthur enters the shot and goes up to the counter. The Bookseller jumps and looks around furtively.)

Bookseller (John Cleese: Er... oh!

Arthur (Eric Idle): Good morning, I'd like to buy a book please.

Bookseller: Oh, well I'm afraid we don't have any. (trying to hide them)

Arthur: I'm sorry?

Bookseller: We don't have any books. We're fresh out of them. Good morning.

Arthur: What are all these?

Bookseller: All what? Oh! All these, ah ah ha ha. Your referring to these... books.

Arthur: Yes.

Bookseller: They're um... they're all sold. Good morning.

Arthur: What all of them?

Bookseller: Every single man-Jack of them. Not a single one of them in an unsold state. Good morning.

Arthur: Who to?

Bookseller: What?

Arthur: Who are they sold to?

Bookseller: Oh... various... good Lord is that the time? Oh my goodness I must close for lunch.

Arthur: It's only half past ten.

Bookseller: Ah yes, well I feel rather peckish, very peckish actually, I don't expect I'll open again today. I think I'll have a really good feed. I say! Look at that lovely bookshop just across the road there, they've got a much better selection than we've got, probably at ridiculously low prices, just across the road there. (he has the door open) Good morning.

Arthur: But I was told to come here.

Bookseller: (bundling him back in) Well. Well, I see. (very, carefully) I hear the gooseberries are doing well this year, and so are the mangoes. (winks)

Arthur: I'm sorry?

Bookseller: Er... oh... I was just saying, thinking of the weather. I hear the gooseberries are doing well this year... and so are the mangoes.

Arthur: Mine aren't

Bookseller: (nodding keenly, with anticipation) Go on.

Arthur: What?

Bookseller: Go on - mine aren't, but...

Arthur: What?

Bookseller: Aren't you going to say something about 'mine aren't but the Big Cheese gets his at low tide tonight'?

Arthur: No.

Bookseller: Oh, ah, good morning, (starts to bundle him out then stops) Wait. Who sent you?

Arthur: The little old lady in the sweet shop.

Bookseller: She didn't have a duelling scar just here, and a hook?

Arthur: No.

Bookseller: Of course not, I was thinking of somebody else. Good morning.

Arthur: Wait a minute, there's something going on here.

Bookseller: (spinning round.) What, where? You didn't see anything did you?

Arthur: No, but I think there's something going on here.

Bookseller: No no, well there's nothing going on here at all (shouts off) and he didn't see anything. Good morning.

Arthur: (coming back into shop) There is something going on.

Bookseller: Look there is nothing going on. Please believe me, there is abso... (a hand comes into view behind Arthur's back; Bookseller frantically waves at it to disappear; it does so) ...lutely nothing going on. Is there anything going on?

(A man appears, fleetingly: he is Van der Berg)

Van der Berg (Dick Vosburgh): No there's nothing going on. (disappears)

Bookseller: See there's nothing going on.

Arthur: Who was that?

Bookseller: That was my aunt, look what was this book you wanted then? Quickly! Quickly!

Arthur: Oh, well, I'd like to buy a copy of an 'Illustrated History of False Teeth'.

Bookseller: My God you've got guts.

Arthur: What?

Bookseller: (pulling gun) Just how much do you know?

Arthur: What about?

Bookseller: Are you from the British Dental Association?

Arthur: No I'm a tobacconist.

Bookseller: Get away from that door.

Arthur: I'll just go over the other...

Bookseller: Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.

Arthur: Why not?

Bookseller: You know too much, my dental friend.

Arthur: I don't know anything.

Bookseller: Come clean. You're a dentist aren't you.

Arthur: No, I'm a tobacconist.

Bookseller: A tobacconist who just happens to be buying a book on teeth?

Arthur: Yes.

Bookseller: Ha ha ha ha.

(Lafarge enters room with gun. He is swarthy, French, dressed all in black and menacing.)

Lafarge (Michael Palin): Drop that gun, Stapleton.

Bookseller: Lafarge! (he drops the gun)

Arthur: There is something going on.

Bookseller: No there isn't.

Lafarge: OK Stapleton, this is it. Where's Mahoney hidden the fillings?

Bookseller: What fillings?

Lafarge: You know which fillings, Stapleton. Upper right two and four, lower right three and two lower left one. Come on. (he threatens with the gun) Remember what happened to Nigel.

Arthur: What happened to Nigel?

Bookseller: Orthodontic Jake gave him a gelignite mouth wash.

Arthur: I knew there was something going on.

Bookseller: Well there isn't.

Lafarge: Come on Stapleton. The fillings!

Bookseller: They're at 22 Wimpole Street.

Lafarge: Don't play games with me! (pokes bookseller in eye with the gun)

Bookseller: Ow!! 22a Wimpole Street.

Lafarge: That's better.

Bookseller: But you'll need an appointment.

Lafarge: OK (shouting out of shop) Brian! Make with the appointment baby. No gas.

(Van der Berg appears with machine gun and a nurse, he is basically dressed as a dentist. But with many rings, chains, wristlets, cravats, buckled shoes and an ear-ring.)

Van der Berg: Not so fast Lafarge!

Lafarge: Van der Berg!

Van der Berg: Yes. Now drop the roscoe.

Arthur: There is something going on.

Bookseller: No there isn't.

Van der Berg: Get the guns.

(The nurse runs forward, picks up the gun and puts it on steel surgeon's tray, and covers it with a white cloth, returning it to Van der Berg.)

Arthur: Who's that?

Bookseller: That's Van der Berg. He's on our side.

Van der Berg: All right, get up against the wall Lafarge, and you too Stapleton.

Bookseller: Me?

Van der Berg: Yes, you!

Bookseller: You dirty double-crossing rat.

Arthur: (going with Bookseller) What's happened?

Bookseller: He's two-timed me.

Arthur: Bad luck.

Van der Berg: All right, where are the fillings? Answer me, where are they?

Arthur: This is quite exciting.

(Brian enters carrying a bazooka. Brian is dressed in operating-theatre clothes, gown, cap and mask, with rubber gloves and white wellingtons.)

Brian (Terry Jones): Not so fast.

All: Brian!

Arthur: Ooh, what's that?

The Others: It's a bazooka.

Brian: All right. Get against the wall Van der Berg, and you nurse. And the first one to try anything moves to a practice six feet underground. This is an anti-tank gun and it's loaded and you've just got five seconds to tell me whatever happened to Baby Jane?

All: What?

Brian: Oh ... I'm sorry ... my mind was wandering ... I've had a terrible day... I really have ... you've got five seconds to tell me... I've forgotten. I've forgotten.

Bookseller: The five seconds haven't started yet have they?

Van der Berg: Only we don't know the question.

Arthur: Was it about Vogler?

Brian: No no no... you've got five seconds to tell me...

Van der Berg: About Nigel?

Brian: No. No.

Lafarge: Bronski?

Brian: No. No.

Arthur: The fillings!

Brian: Oh yes, the fillings, of course. How stupid of me. Right, you've got five seconds. (clears throat) Where are the fillings? Five, four, three, two, one, Zero! (there is a long pause, Brian has forgotten to fire the bazooka but he can't put his finger on what has gone wrong) Zero! (looks at gun) Oh! I've forgotten to fire it. Sorry. Silly day. Very well. (quite rapidly) Five, four, three, two, one.

(A panel slides back and the Big Cheese appears in sight seated in adentist's chair. The Big Cheese is in dentist's gear, wears evil magnifing type glasses and strokes a rabbit lying on his lap.)

Big Cheese (Graham Chapman): Drop the bazooka Brian.

All: The Big Cheese!

(Brian drops the bazooka.)

Big Cheese: I'm glad you could all come to my little party. And Flopsy's glad too, aren't you, Flopsy? (he holds rabbit up as it does not reply) Aren't you Flopsy? (no reply again so he pulls a big revolver out and fires at rabbit from point-blank range) That'll teach you to play hard to get. There, poor Flopsy's dead. And never called me mother. And soon you will all be dead, dead, dead, dead. (the crowd start to hiss him) And because I'm so evil you'll all die the slow way... under the drill.

Arthur: It's one o'clock.

Big Cheese: So it is. Lunch break everyone, back here at two.

(They, all happily relax and walk off. Arthur surreptitiously goes to telephone and, making sure nobody is looking, calls)

Arthur: Hallo... give me the British Dental Association... and fast.

(Cut to Arthur dressed normally as dentist leaning over patient in chair. He looks up to camera.)

Arthur: You see, I knew there was something going on. Of course, the Big Cheese made two mistakes. First of all he didn't recognize me: Lemming, Arthur Lemming, Special Investigator, British Dental Association, and second... (to patient) ...spit. By the time I got back from lunch I had every dental surgeon in SW1 waiting for them all in the broom cupboard. Funny isn't it, how naughty dentists always make that one fatal mistake. Bye for now, keep your teeth clean.

(Cut to photo of Arthur Lemming, with superimposed caption on screen: 'LEMMING OF THE BDA' Over this we hear a song.)

Song: (Voice over pre-recorded) Lemming, Lemming... Lemming of the BDA... Lemming, Lemming... Lemming of the BD... Lemming of the BD... BD, BDA.

Voice Over: and Caption on Screen: 'IT'S A MAN'S LIFE IN THE BRITISH DENTAL ASSOCIATION'

Colonel: (knocking the photo aside) Right! No, I warned you, no, I warned you about the slogan, right. That's the end. Stop the programme! Stop it.

(Cut to referee blowing whistle.)

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[> Subject: Re: MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUSSSSSS


Author:
max
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Date Posted: 14:34:30 09/01/02 Sun

WHAT????

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Subject: Anyone here???


Author:
nevadacow
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Date Posted: 14:05:59 04/16/02 Tue

Echo......

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Subject: .......... *?*


Author:
SnowFang IceClaw
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 09:19:36 02/01/02 Fri

A Shadow Appeared and disappeared....................................................................................................................................................... DEEEEEAAAAAATTTHHH!

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
Subject: .......... *?*


Author:
SnowFang IceClaw
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 09:16:35 02/01/02 Fri

A Shadow Appeared and disappeared.........

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
Subject: Hey y'all!


Author:
Romy the Stoat-Gal
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Date Posted: 07:24:37 06/02/01 Sat

I haven't been here for a loooooooooong time! How's the hockey goin'? Anybeast remember me? I think I was the co-manager person of the Bluddripps with Flamey...but I've sorta lost me memory!

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
Subject: im new at this


Author:
Dominator390
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Date Posted: 12:48:08 05/17/01 Thu

how does the league work and how do we play games

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[> Subject: Re: im new at this


Author:
Atchke
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Date Posted: 17:58:34 05/23/01 Wed

Come back june second, i should have everything set up by then

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
Subject: Hmmm....


Author:
Marty II
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Date Posted: 17:49:50 04/05/01 Thu

Don't want to sound stupid, but when does one start playing?

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Subject: hey guys


Author:
Chlorum Mustelina Furo
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Date Posted: 11:32:11 03/07/01 Wed

okay, i just set up my hockey team. It's not very big yet, but it will be. that's a promise.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[> Subject: dont worry, i am still trying to figure out the rest of the operations


Author:
Atchke
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 20:09:31 03/09/01 Fri


[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
Subject: WELCOME


Author:
Atchke
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 21:43:05 02/24/01 Sat

Does every one like the new board

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[> Subject: yah


Author:
Cluny
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Date Posted: 15:15:25 02/25/01 Sun

Madman Walking

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
Subject: ????


Author:
Atchke
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 12:39:18 02/24/01 Sat

did i get my message posted

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[> Subject: Re: ????


Author:
No name
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 12:39:33 02/24/01 Sat

>did i get my message posted

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[> Subject: Yah!


Author:
Cluny
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 14:51:45 02/24/01 Sat

Madman Walking

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
Subject: Well


Author:
Atchke
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 10:43:39 02/24/01 Sat

Well I'll be, it works

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