There may be a reason for the board's perpetual unpopularity... -- The Brink of Madness!

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Date Posted: 09:28:59 09/05/03 Fri
Author: The Great Hero of Time
Author Host/IP: 66.189.225.43
Subject: There may be a reason for the board's perpetual unpopularity...

Take out the fact that I don't actively advertise the place before you start reading. I'll get back to it in just a moment. Or not. It depends on how fast I type this, as I must get on to work PDQ!

It occurs to me that the Brink of Madness!, formerly known as Random Chaos Central!, fails to deliver a wholesome product because there's a great supply of it here, but what we lack is a real demand. Consider that most adults don't have an interest in the internet, let alone wasting time on the internet on some rediculous message board that doesn't even have a topic. So, I tried to gear it more towards my type of people: Monty-Python-ish people who watch Invader Zim and stuff like that. Consider how many teenagers actually know what Monty Python is. You can count the results on a single hand, provided you do have 7 fingers.

Nobody likes our humor, it seems. Aj's brought this up in his dealings with his wife *L*. He usually finds a stupid video online, and sends the address to me, and we roll around on the floor in a sort of tribal dance of laughter. Then we parodize it here, and viola!, instand stupid humor! We also enjoy the humor that sticks in your mind, gnawing away at the thingie that stops you from laughing. "Give me sugar.....in water." from Men in Black is just one of those things. If you didn't see the movie, or forgot about it, you probably think I'm on LSD.

And that's exactly my point! Not that I'm on hallucinagens, no. But that the teenage mind has been reprogrammed to assimilate that sort of humor. It's not even humor, actually. Kids just think bongs are the most wonderous things invented. You say "weed" and they fall on the floor, crying because their ribs hurt from laughing out loud. You find a Goddamn maple leaf and they all say "Look man! It's WEED!" How can you have a randomly chaotic board with the likes of such beings?

It hardly even qualifies them as sentient, I must say.

Joe made a remark that this board is simply a one-person board with me posting as a million people. That's not too far from the truth, but consider this: When I was searching for Larry's useless jumble of HTML to post on, I used the Forum Search from Voy.com. I used a thousand key words, but the ONLY board that came up was this one. If you're not familiar with the boards you visit, that board is the one you're on right now. Brink of Madness, though newer than the "Real Random Chaos Central", is the only one that shows up on a damn search engine. At all. There's no contesting it. Try it yourself.

And now, consider what his forum offers that mine doesn't : America-bashing and crude sexual humor. Nobody wants the former, as most internet-denizens ARE Americans. And nobody appreciates the latter there because they're all OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY FUCKING UNCLE. Except Joe, who loves men.

That's the other thing we lack that teens just revel in. I keep sexual humor away. Why? It's not because I don't enjoy such things. It's not because I'm trying to keep the board clean. It's because teenagers love it. I'm trying to make a stand, and at least have one domain where at least one region of the human body is sacred. That, and I don't really find it funny. Faye, for example, was telling me not too long ago how funny American Wedding is. It's basically American Pie 3, and I'm not fond of the previous two movies. She's all, "OH!! And there's this one part where Stifler goes up to that one guy who likes his mom, and he says "HEY MAN! What's the capital of Taiiwan(sp?)? BANCOCK!!" and then he KICKS HIM IN THE BALLS!! AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA! *ROTFLHAO*". I just sat there, staring at her like a cow looks at an oncoming train, the silence from me accompanied by a chorus of unceromonious crickets. Said she, "What?!" to which I replied, "I'm still waiting for the punchline."

I didn't find it funny. So he kicked him in the crotch. Big deal. I don't find it funny. If it were real, the guy would be fucking pissed. Not to mention it tends to, you know, DAMAGE things when you hit someone. Girls are all over it though. How about I kick you in the cunt and laugh. See how funny it is.

Another problem is that certain people have a problem with words I say. Exhibit A: Jessa! So I can't say cunt. But I can say everything else. What the hell is that?

CUNT!!!!!

And yes, I can say that. Got a problem with it? Well, that's too bad, as it's perfectly legal, if you read the rules up there.

And finally, I don't advertise for several reasons. They can be summed up here:

1) Google obviously already finds my board.
2) Most sites want you to pay money.
3) Other sites tell you to wait for approval, and never get back to you. Like, say, YAHOO!.
4) Do we REALLY want tons of people?

Part of the fun is knowing that I have a monopoly of conversation. And unfortunately, bringing 60 more people here would just be 60 more punchlines I'd still be waiting for.

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Replies:

And I naturally forgot to close an HTML tag. Sue me. (NT) -- Heroic Mistake, 09:29:48 09/05/03 Fri