| Subject: Priority Mail 516 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Wednesday, January 30, 10:51:33pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Priority Mail 513+" on Friday, January 25, 07:15:33pm
The trunk was a siren for both of them. It kept them awake while they should have been sleeping. It was Michael that finally got up and went outside. He opened up car trunk and stared at the trunk for a long time. He wondered what Madeline wrote about. Did she have insights that explained things? What did she think about Nikita? Why did she let things happen to them that were so beyond human and beyond what seemed to happen to other operatives in Section? Did she have an idea of what Nikita could become?
He closed the trunk and locked the car up again, going back to the room, where Nikita was up in bed. “Maybe we should just… destroy them now.”
“We’ll find the right way to handle it… because I think we both know… we’d question too much if we destroy,” Michael rasped as he closed the door to their room. “But we can’t read them alone. Promise me, Kita.”
Nikita jerked her head to the side. “I’ve read some.”
“I know that,” Michael replied as he kicked off his shoes and turned the bedside light off that Nikita had turned on while he had left the room. “And you’ll tell me about them… or we’ll read them together.”
“What if I read them wrong? Or read more into it?” Nikita asked and Michael pulled Nikita into his body as he settled into the bed. “That’s why we have each other now, Kita. Did you start reading them while you were in Section?”
“No,” Nikita shook her head from side to side. “I only opened them… one day… after I…”
It felt odd to point a gun and to fire it. She had been in the role of Operations for so long that she rarely had to weld the gun. But it was her final task and her whole body trembled with the recoil as she had finally pulled the trigger on the last connection she had to Section One, killing Ethan.
He had used words the first time that she had attempted to end his life but this time, she didn’t allow him to say anything. But he also had seemed resigned that it was going to happen. There was plenty of time for him to protest as her steady aim was on him, but she had not pulled the trigger.
Seeing the blood coming from the middle of his skull made Nikita’s stomach recoil as felt that it oddly looked like when Michael had cut his own eye when she told him that she didn’t love him so he could cry tears of blood. She wasn’t sure if she would ever be able to close her eyes again after seeing what she had done to end Ethan’s life and to remember that event that she had little control about with Michael.
She wanted Michael to be with her then. To be behind her as she lowered the gun and realized that Section One was no more at all. But instead, she was alone in the world with still so much to do and so much to make up for doing.
Out in the woods, Nikita finally went about the next steps of disposing the body. Ethan had frankly told her that she should use acid to get rid of his body. He knew what his fate was to be. But Nikita couldn’t do that.
The strength it took to break thru the bones caused her entire body to scream in pain, but she didn’t say a word as she cried while around parts of the body. She couldn’t chance making a deep grave and with enough mutilation of the body, along with knowing that the man who Ethan was had died a long time ago and all medical records and miraculously disappeared some time later, would mean if parts of his were found, it would not be a danger.
But she was done as she looked at the pile of blood and guts. She leaned back on her heels as she fought against the urge to end her life. She had to make up for what she had done.
“Kita…. Come on Kita…”
The pile was in front of her. It had been a body. She had done that.
“Take a deep breath for me, Kita… come on… Kita… you are safe…”
She was a monster. That was what Section One had done to her. She had tried to focus on the lives that she saved. She wanted to think about how Michael was out there with his son. How she saved Walter and Jason. And Davenport. And so many others.
But the space in front of her was what was Ethan. She had done that. Without hesitation. She was a monster.
“Nikita,” Michael firmly spoke as he shook at her as he now got in front of her trembling body. She was murmuring and he could see the tears streaming down her face. He knew that this wasn’t going to be easy, but he didn’t expect this at all. Not this bad.
She had hurt so many others. She had walked away from the building that was Section One and knew that there were numerous people in there that did not even know what had happened when it ceased to exist. No warning at all. But she knew. She had done nothing.
Yes, the people there couldn’t be rehabilitated. Or posed a risk. But she feared that she missed more than a few innocents. That she missed others like her. Those that had not did what had caused them to be targeted by Section One.
It was punishment for all the bad that she had to do. She had to do more bad. That was punishment. She had to make amends and she didn’t know why she was the one that had to do it. There were others that probably could have done the job so much better.
But then Michael wouldn’t be safe.
Ethan had died at her hands and had been dismembered so Nikita could be sure that Michael had a life that was more like he should have had, than what he did have while he was in Section.
Nikita stood up and striped the clothes off. She walked over twigs and rocks to the creek, trying to cleanse herself in the freezing water. It did nothing to ease what she was feeling. In ways she wondered if she should just slip underneath the water, if that would ease the memories away of what she had done.
“KITA!” Michael shouted as he did not care if others heard him. Nikita jerked her head up and gasped deeply as she couldn’t breathe. Michael tightly pressed his hands on her face. “Come on, Kita… take a slow breathe… you can do this… for you… for the baby…”
Nikita didn’t dare blink her eyes. She was almost sure that she had been walking in the creek and she now had Michael. She stared at his green eyes and started to hear him. She groaned in pain and tried to pull away, but Michael kept her focused on him.
“It’s going to be ok, Kita… I just need you to breathe… that’s all you have to do right now. That’s your only job, ok?” Michael spoke slowly while his heart raced. He glanced at the clock and realized that it had been almost a half hour. “It was just a PTSD flash, Kita… and you are ok…”
Nikita started to take those breathes and she fought against the urge to close her eyes. She was drained and she was exhausted. But she feared what would happen if she closed those eyes, if she would see Ethan again.
Michael felt Nikita’s whole body tremble. He didn’t have to ask. She was thinking about something in what she had the flash about. But she stayed with him and he slowly lessened the grasp on her face and slowly dropped his hands to her shoulders. “You are ok, Kita…”
“So-sorry…” Nikita rasped and Michael kissed Nikita’s forehead. “Nothing to be sorry with. I’m just glad that you were able to listen to me, Kita.”
Michael adjusted to sit back against the headboard and to pull her practically onto his lap. “You are safe, Kita… those memories… they can hurt you in your mind… but you are safe…”
“Ethan…” Nikita shook her head as she turned to look at Michael. “I’m tired… but afraid…”
“Take your time, Kita… don’t fight it… but don’t try to sleep either… it will happen when your body knows that it is safe to sleep.”
Michael rocked his wife in his arms as she listened to his words. He whispered to her and she supplied just vague words, but Michael knew enough to know what she was thinking somewhat about.
He wanted to rage against Paul, Madeline, George and even Tom for what damage they had done to his beautiful wife while she was in Section One. He wanted to pull the pages out of each journal one at a time to cosmically hurt Madeline for this pain that Nikita had. But Michael pushed those thoughts away as Nikita’s body could tell that he was not relaxing either.
It wasn’t for over another half hour before Nikita’s eyes finally started to close due to sheer weariness and the need of her body to recharge for the sake of their baby.
“I love you, Kita….”
Those were the words that Nikita last heard while she finally went back to sleep.
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