| Subject: Faith |
Author:
Memphis
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Date Posted: 17:14:23 02/25/01 Sun
Author Host/IP: proxy-1512.public.svc.webtv.net/209.240.221.92
In reply to:
Memphis
's message, "Faith" on 13:10:46 02/25/01 Sun
Drag was all smellin like weed. I cant believe he was da first one to kiss me, I was 11 and he was 14. We was kickin it in Ms. Jenkins crib and we just kissed. Now, he think we together. I opened da door and told em, If you lookin for yo mama she aint here. Dis nig gone say, I know, lemme in. I told him not by da hair of my chinny chin chin. He told me he was cold. So I decided to be nice. He told me his mamas crib was robbed like a week ago. I rememeber. Ms. Jenkins came runnin in our crib like a crackhead screamin someone broke in dey crib. Mama told her to calm down. She was all shakin. I came downstairs and I think I was still sleepy cuz I saw a gun on da coffeetable. Probably Dragonfly`s. It was a 9 millimeter. Next day, I came home and Ms. Jenkins was talkin to mama: drunk. I left Imani dere day day. So how did everything go at da welfare office?? she asked. I was so mad, I snatched Imani and we went to our room. She came about 1 hr later and sat on da bed. She put Imani hair in nice lil baby cornrows. Dats when mama told me out da blue, after I asked all da questions, I cant read. I didnt believe her. I always knew she didnt.
Every night I wish him dead. Ill tell Imani dat her daddy`s dead and how he loved us and everything but he died peacefully in his sleep wit a smile on his face........
But now, I cant even go to sleep anymore. My window be open at night I look at da stars. One particular star. One dat shines right into my room. I look at it while da birds sing to me and I look at my beautiful star and wish it was here wit me. Imani. She so scared, she made me her baby again. Every night I cry. Listenin for my voice out in da sky. Tryin to reach my baby. Mama think I be cryin cuz I miss Imani but its becuz its my fault she died. Becuz of wut I kept wishin and it came back on me. Nita told me all babies go to heaven. Dey got a free pass. Mama dont even sleep in her room anymore becuz dats where it happened, where Imani died. I remember dat night clearly. I rocked Imani to sleep and took her upstairs, laid her on da bed, and left da room. I was washin Imani bottles and plates. It felt like a dream. Ms. Jenkins house was shot at first. dropped everything and started runnin. Faster and faster everytime I heard more bullets bein fired. Bullet comin all in our crib, glass bustin open, and when I was at mama`s door da bullets stopped. I opened da door, turned on da lights and saw nothin but blood. Imani`s blanket was on da floor and so was her body, she mustv`e woke up and looked out da window becuz da top of head was shot off. Only bone and blood. She was still movin, tryna crawl but barely. I ran out da room screamin, seein mama on her way up. I knocked her into da wall screamin, GOD NO!!!!! Den mama started cryin, runnin upstairs. I ran down da block.and passed out. I woke up to see mama beatin up Ms. Jenkins outside. Cops was all around. Mama told her she`ll kill her. From den, all I remember is bein at da hospital. Mama and Frank went see Imani and came back cryin. I didnt wanna go cuz I didnt wanna remember my baby like dat. We had da funeral and everyone was dere. Even her daddy, Dionne Young. And last Sunday, I went to church, and you know wut he told me, Im goin to make it. Everything happens for a reason. Da family is cool, and we miss Imani, and Ill see her again someday. I`ll always remember Imani becuz Ill always have FAITH.
* Based on a story by Connie Porter titled, Imani All Mine, buy it.
~*Memphis*~
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