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Subject: :~( Healing Author: Angie [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 19:17:05 02/27/01 Tue Author Host/IP: 1cust250.tnt1.inglewood.ca.da.uu.net/63.57.33.250 Hey guys this is my first full story so tell my what yall think . I loved him instantly and I knew he'd be mine since the day he took the time out to hug me in the hall in 9th grade just to make me smile.And here I am now 2 years later now 17 but I cant forget about the love I lost.Not a day goes by that Im not thinking about him. I cant stop thinking about the day we bumped heads.I had everything I was in the 9th grade a varsity cheerleader pledging a junior sorrority and every girl wanted to be me and then he came into my life and everything went downhill.It was halftime at a basketball game when he bumped into me. Person:A where yo sister at? Me:Shes at home Person:When she coming to this school? Me:I dont know next week Person:oh He saw one of his friends and walked away.I was with one of my friends Taneka who was a cheerleader to. Taneka:OHhH I cant Stand Him!!!!! Me:Who is he? Taneka:Thats Mikey he's a wanna be thug I really didnt pay Taneka no mind she really didnt like anyone everyone wondered why was she was a cheerleader I mean she was evil The next day at school Mikey came up to me and just gave me a hug like he knew me but until that game I didnt even know he exsisted. Mikey:Hey girl Me:*sweetly*Hey I was in a rush to get to class but at that moment I begin to like him and I didnt really know him .I knew that Mikey was out of my league I was the sweet girl that nobody thought could do wrong and Mikey was the thugged out type that was in a local gang and got drunk and high everyday. After that day Mikey would take the time out to hug me and play around with me like he would tickle me or put his arms around my waist but we only did it friend wise.I had made it up and my mind that I would get MIkey.When my older sister Jackie finally came back to the school I told her that I liked Mikey.Since her and Mikey acted just alike she told me she would hook us up. I never really had any real friendsbecause I had learned that you can never trust anyone especially girls because theirs always gon be one girl that wants what you got.I was the outsider in my group of 3 friends my one friend Alicia always tried to include me but the other 2 just went on and did theyre own thing.I really dont know why I hung around with them.Nobody respected them they always wore pants that flooded and they repeated their clothes almost every week but enough about that.I finally got the courage up to tell my so-called friends that I liked Mikey.We were sitting on the bleachers Me:You guys wanna know who I like? Alicia:Yeah who Me:Mikey One of my friends Amber just looked at me the other Alicia smiled but Nichole the one who was always competing with me had to say something stupid. Nichole:Ewww.Him! Me:Yeah whats wrong with him? Nichole:He used to try to get with me he is nasty. Amber:You shouldnt like him Angie Me:Why? Amber:Cause he used to throw rocks at me in the 8th grade I couldnt help but laugh Me:He went to are school Amber:Yeah and dont laugh Me:Soooooorrrry Amber Amber:It's okay Me:Sooooooo Alicia....What ya think Alicia:I dont know I really dont know what to think of him. Me:Do you think we have a chance? Amber:Yeah he's always hugging on you Nichole:Man he always hugging on people.No offense but do you really think he would go with you? Me and Alicia looked at eachother and smiled Alicia:Well Angie I think he likes you My sister told Mikey that I liked him.And he found out my classes and everyday he would meet me to talk after 4th period.I kinda cut Nichole off cause ever since she found out that Mikey liked me she would just say stupid stuff out of the blue. Months passed by, school was out and it was summer vacation and me and Mikey still had not hooked up.I was begining to give up hope.My sister started getting me out of the house saying I work to much.I almost forgot about Mikey until I got my pictures developed and there was the cutest picture of me and Michael hugging eachother with the biggest smiles on our face. Those feelings just came back I wanted to lay in bed in think about Mikey but my sister dragged me out of the house to go to a party.I went reluctlantly.I had put my picture of Mikey and me together in my see-through purse.When we got to the party I took a seat with my sister and begin to look around. Me:Oh My Gosh Oh My Gosh Jackie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackie:What Me:He's here I grabbed the picture in my purse and flipped it over.Me and My sis walked over to Mikey and Mikey hugged Jackie.I just sat by Jackie.Mikey leaned ove and wrapped his arms around me. Mikey:Hey girl Me:Hi That was it I didnt know what else to say.So I got up and walked back over to Jackie. Jackie:I'm about to go dance Me:Okay Jackie:You gon dance with Mikey? Me:No Jackie:Angie you a simp Me:Shut up Jackie got up and left me.I couldnt really dance unless I had choreograghed it or it was choreograghed.I couldnt dance freaky like grinding up with a boy so I just sat down.Some boy came by me and tried to see my picture but I wouldnt let him and he wrestled me to the floor trying to get it.I thought that would be my highlight of the party. I didnt think Mikey would want to dance with me but to my surprise he came up to me in my chair pulled my legs up over his shoulder and just started popping on me.I wrapped my arms aroud his neck Mikey:Ohhhh Jackie I didnt know your sister was a freak Jackie:Get off of my sister Mikey Jackie pushed him away.I just laughed.Mikey walked back over to me and looked at me and smiled.I loved his big smile.Then he slid his hands between my legs(I cant believe I let him do that.But since I liked him so much I guess I wanted him to)And we started dancing the same way we were before. Jackie:*Pushing him*Mikey stop Mikey:*laughing*your sisters a grown women she could do what she wants. When we got home my sister started joking around Jackie:Ohhhhh Angie Mikey tore yo pus---- Me:Shut up you little punk My sister grabbed the picture of the picture I framed and threatened to rip it. I thought about that party the next couple of days I never liked anyone so much. And I guess Mikey was thinking bout me to cause he called 2 weeks later. Me:Hello Mikey:Whas crackin Angie Me:Mikey? Mikey:Yeah Me:Oh you wanna speak to Jackie Mikey:Naw I wanna speak to you I looked at my sister who was laying on her bed and smiled and walked out the room. We talked on the phone from like 7 to 12 am. My mom made me get off the phone because I had to work.But that phone call made me feel like I was in love with him.I dont even know what it was about him maybe it was really the fact that he was a thug maybe it was the fact that he actually took the time out to know me or maybe it was because he treated me difrently then he treated other girls. But after that me and Mikey became really good friends.He worked down the street from my job so we'd just meet eachother at Burger King and talk and I cant believe this he actually brought my lunch for me. Finally one day he did it he kissed me.I know this is so corny I had my first kiss and I was 15.See thats why I have a problem being around boys cause I always think something wrong with me every guy would tell me Angie you loook good blah blah blah but Im to good of a friend to take to another level. It was official me and Mikey were a couple.I would get off from work early and invite him over while my parents were at work and we would be all over eachother kissing and hugging on eachother. I went over his house a couple of weeks later and we went all the way .After that he had me wrapped around his fingers I would do anything for him he had me whenever it was convient for him and I even had his gun under my bed for him.I would hang around with him and his friends and get high with him.I couldnt believe how much I had changed just to be with him I did things that I would have never did. Finally school started back and along with proving everyone wrong about me and Mikey being together I was now co-captain of the cheerleading squad.I was on cloud-9 but like everything else all good things must come to an end. I was with my friends again even Nichole, when Mikey grabbed me from behind me and wrapped his arms around me. And Nichole just gave my friends a weird look. Nichole:Hi Mikey Mikey:*Kissing me on my neck*Hey Nichole:I didnt know yall went together Mikey:Oh Mikey grabbed me and pulled me Me:Baby I was--- Mikey:Come with me ri quick After that incident my friends just kept there distance.I didnt care I just got more closer to Mikey and I began to hang with his brothers girlfriend. Mikey was getting more and more out of control and it seemed like I was to.He got high and drunk everyday and he and his friends were always fighting some other gang.I knew it was wrong for me to be with someone like him but I loved him so much.I thought that maybe I could change him but I didnt understand why it was so important for him to act how he did.By the time I understood it was too late.My reputation was getting dragged trough the dirt by my so called bestfriends they started a rumor that I was easy my grades had dropped from ditching with Mikey everyday and I had got kicked off the squad for skipping practice. I couldnt see what was happening I was in love and I didnt care about anything but him not even me.It seemed like things could get better.I convinced Mikey to got his classes and everyone saw that the only person I had ever been with was Mikey and stopped beliving the rumors. Thats when it happened it was saturday evening and I was out side with Mikey and his brother and his brothers girlfriend. Me and Mikey were runing around play fighting Me:Mikey stop Mikey:Or what or what? Me:*laughing*Im a rape you Mikey:Oh Angie.Well then in that case Im a keep doing it A silver truck crept slowly down the street Mikey stopped chasing me and walked over to his brother Mikey:A dog whos that Kareem:*looking around*I dont know The passenger pulled out a gun Kareem:Oh sh*t nigga get in the house. I tried to run I think I did but he jumped in front of me he took my bullet for me I remember him falling to the ground falling on top of me they didnt stop shooting until he just laid there blood everywhere.I began to tremble I held him in my arms to afraid to cry to afraid to even speak Me:Mi-Mi-Mikey baby He looked up at me like he wanted to tell me something.But when he tried to all this blood just poured out of his mouth. Me:*finally starting to cry*baby shhh dont speak okay I held him close to me and rocked him in my arms.His brother came outside with the phone. Kareem:Stay with Michael.The ambulence is on there way. Kareem ran off.I guess to find the people who did this to his brother. The ambulence came and took Mikey to the hospital.He stayed in a coma he was shot 3 times in the chest and in the back.The doctors said that if he survived there was no doubt that he'd be cripple.I went to visit him with my sister.I couldnt even go in that room.It was only a year since I lost my grandma and this is exactly how she looked like when she was in the hospital.She was in a coma for 9 months with tubes everywhere she just looked like she was sleeping and she never woke up.She died before she woke up. I went to the hospital 3 days later and I got the courage to go sit in his hospital room.As soon as I got in there I started crying.I burried my head in his chest and started crying Me:Why are these things always happening to me.It seems like everything I love I loose. I grabbed his hands and looked up at him just praying that if he was going to leave me at least he would say goodbye and I prayed that he would get into heaven.It seemed like god heard me because at that moment Mikey openened his eyes. Mikey:*weekly*An-Angie Me:*crying*Yes baby Im here I leaned over to him Mikey:Oh Angie you better stop Me:What Mikey:You got yo tig ol bitties all on me ma Me:*laughing*Uh un Mikey I cant believe you is that all you think about Mikey smiled at me and I squezed his hand Mikey:Come here I leaned in and kissed him on the forehead Me:I love you so much Mikey:awww Angie you can do better then that I kissed him on the lips and he kissed me back long and sweet Mikey:I love you to I couldnt take it the fact that I had no say if he walked out of my life the fact that I knew that this would be are last time together and I couldnt change it.I laid my head in his chest and I started to cry again.Mikey got quiet.I looked up again Mikey had closed his eys he looked so peaceful.I laid my head in his chest again tears stinging my eyes. Then I felt it.He took his last breath.I was the last person he talked to.I saw him take his last breath.No one knows unless they expierienced it how it feels.To see a person's life slip through there hands and not be able to make it better. ______________________________________________________________________________________ So here I am 2 years later in the hospital bed that I hate so much blood rushing through my veins.I attempted suicide earlier.I wish they would of just let me die.Dont they know that Im not the same without him that even though it's been 2 years he's still the only one that completes me.I wont ever be the same until Im with him.Look at me I had everything,And now I dont even have friends.My sisters in college and she was all I had left.I dont think Im ever gon recover from the love of my lifes death.All I can do is think of the time we spent and learn from things. It's now 2 months later and Im out the hospital.I switched schools and I now have some friends.I cant stop thinking about him.I never will.But now I am remebering what he taught me.He taught me not to worry what people think of me.And to always expect the unexpected.I think the night that I tried to kill myself Mikey was there watching over me he wouldnt let me die.I think that he's a blessing a angel who taught me that "to live is to suffer.But to survive is to find meaning in the suffering" *This is the 1st full story I ever wrote by myself 08/00* [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]