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Date Posted: 22:46:03 12/07/24 Sat
Author: JeffsFort
Subject: I know what I want
In reply to: JeffsFort 's message, "Imagine Magazine Question for 12/15" on 14:42:39 11/29/24 Fri

Those of you who have been around for the better part of the last couple of decades know that our communities look a lot different than they did back around the turn of the century. Not so much that we are focused on anything different or any more or less involved. It's mainly because we are missing many of the key players from back then. More often now we hear that someone who has been with us for our entire online journey, has finished a journey of their own and will no longer accompany us on ours.

As an arguably responsible and somewhat reasonable adult, I know that this is a simple fact of life. Our time here is relatively short and the fact that we shared that time with others makes it so much more meaningful. For me, that is a bit of a comfort until I put just a little too much thought into it. My answer has been a bit altered because of a recent event.

An "Real Life" friend of many years passed a way a couple days ago (from the date of typing this) and once again I find myself taking comfort in the fact that they live on in my heart and memory now... at least until I am no longer.

So often I have thought about all the shared memories with others that are uniquely mine. Conversations, events, or even messages, just moments that are mine alone. In my offline life this has been most prominent in memories with people like my mother or grand mother, adoptive father or various aunts and uncles that are no longer with us. Not life altering memories either, simple little things that now they are gone, I am the keeper of the only recollection of those events. My mother teaching me how to drive, my grandmother and aunt teaching me how to blow bubbles with bubblegum when I was like 5 while my mother was at work, or how exasperated with them my mother was when she came to pick me up. (lol!) My adoptive father telling me that I was a "Good Boy" on the day he passed or even the time I spent with our own Comicality on the phone trying to get his replacement laptop up and running or of us tossing laughs back and forth as we stumbled while we assembled an online project... They all exist in my memory meaning, when I am done here, those memories are just simply lost. That is upsetting to me.

So, today my Christmas want is to be assured that I get to take these memories with me. That they are in fact not going to be lost to eternity when I close my eyes for the final time. That in spite of all the controversy, there is in fact a here after and we get to share those memories with the people we created them with once again. I know that many struggle to find a meaning in the finality of a lifespan but in my life, mixed in with all the bad memories are quite a few keepers. I want to be allowed to keep them. That's what I want for Christmas.

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