Sign You're in a Bad Hospital -- thecoffeeshop

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Date Posted: 02:22:39 03/17/05 Thu
Author: Nurse Ratchet
Subject: Sign You're in a Bad Hospital

The Top 17 Signs You're in a Bad Hospital

17> The "crash cart" consists of ping-pong paddles wired
to a Diehard.

16> Near the front entrance is a urine sample pyramid and a large
statue of Hippocrates made entirely of laminated spleens.

15> If you look closely you can still make out the word "Hormel"
on the bedpan.

14> The cafeteria's chili becomes noticeably meatier toward the
end of the surgery schedule.

13> They offer to slash your bill if you'll "cough up a kidney."

12> To make sure he operates on the correct knee, the surgeon
writes "NO" in red on your other knee, both of your elbows
and *his* knees.

11> Despite the name, there isn't actually a Saint Kevorkian.

10> Instead of a sponge bath, the nurse drizzles fish oil on your
body and releases 50 cats.

9> "Code blue" simply means the doctor is very sad.

8> Instructions to disrobe end with the words "...like this!"

7> Yesterday: failed liver transplant. Today: liver and onions
in the cafeteria.

6> It advertises being 12 percent "less kill-y" than 2004.

5> Anesthesiologists put patients to sleep by making them watch
"Gilmore Girls."

4> Removed organs get tossed into the tank of leeches in the ER
lobby.

3> After slowly making a pass around your head with his cell
phone, the doctor says, "Just as I suspected: Rigellian Fever!
Nurse Chapel, have this man take two tribbles and I'll see
him in the morning."

2> Your dad's in a coma, but the doctor insists he's just
"pining for the fjords."

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign You're in a Bad Hospital...

1> After your colonscopy, the doctor says, "Okay, now you
examine me."

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Replies:

[> Bwahahahaha! -- EB, 07:27:53 03/17/05 Thu [1]

I almost spit my cereal out laughing at #12

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[> [> Re -- LL, 16:29:12 03/17/05 Thu [1]

Yea that one, and the one about releasing the cats made me LOL! (((BreezyBoy)))

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