Daily Scopes -- thecoffeeshop

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 08:07:13 03/25/05 Fri
Author: EB for EG
Subject: Daily Scopes

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Your ship will come in today! Unfortunately, you won't have anywhere to put it.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Today you will have to take someone aside and gently explain that a "briefcase" is not actually for undergarments. Remember: you probably made a few silly mistakes yourself, when you were just starting out.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Time for an excursion! Remember to pack some sandwiches, and carry a large ball of twine (it's easy to get lost in the city -- the twine should help).

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

You will have a nightmare tonight, in which you find yourself dangling from the ceiling, while brightly colored paper mach� animals with glowing eyes file into the room. One of them will be carrying a stick. Perhaps you shouldn't eat so much candy before going to bed?

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

You will tend towards simplicity in your life. The Voluntary Simplicity movement has been gathering momentum lately, so you'll have plenty of company. And heck, who cares if it's "voluntary", right?

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more, unless you've paid.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)

At the same moment you read this, someone will be thinking about you and smiling. In a moment, they'll be laughing outright.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

A huge spacecraft will hover over your dwelling structure today, and secretly analyze you down to the last parasitic microbe in your epidermal layers. They will be on the point of making contact with humans, and offering us technology to cure all illness, let us live indefinately while looking like healthy 20-year-olds, and give us the ability to travel interstellar distances in an eyeblink...when they spot you making something with SPAM. After a bit of horrified bleeping at each other, they will zoom off, never to return.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Someone will ask you for your advice. Don't give it! Or if they insist, simply shake your head solemnly, and mutter "Much bad juju", and refuse to clarify. They only want a scapegoat.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

You will have trouble with the telephone, in which, no matter what number you call, you reach "Mo's Leather Emporium." Don't take it lightly.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Potato awareness day, today. Potatoes have had a tremendous influence on society, since their introduction into Western culture. Just think, for instance, of their effect on Dan Quayle's career!

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

You will become embroiled in a serious dispute about food. Feelings will be hurt. Bygones will eventually be bygones, but not until you ease off on the Tabasco.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> A simple life? -- A Leo, 00:00:41 03/26/05 Sat [1]

Yea, but not voluntarily! ;-)

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]