March 26 Scopes -- thecoffeeshop

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Date Posted: 07:45:36 03/26/05 Sat
Author: EB
Subject: March 26 Scopes

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Several extremely hungry creatures will look at you strangely, today. Throw them a raisin cookie.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

This week, you'll discover a trick to make those meetings seem more interesting. Imagine that everyone else has a ferret clinging to their head.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Remember that silly song The Monster Mash? Beginning today, you will start sounding a lot like the lead singer in that song.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Stay out of the Cheez Doodles today.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

You will take a wrong turn, today, and become hopelessly lost. Eventually you will start a new life in Minnesota, along with all the other people who have little sense of direction. It'll be ok, providing you like tuna casserole.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Good day to appreciate the beauty and wonder of life, and to see how far you can spit. Other people may find that incongrous, but you'll see the inner truth, and it will set you free.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)

Old Neil Diamond songs will circle endlessly in your mind today. I recommend screaming and pounding your head on the table.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Today you should sit down (someplace comfy), and ask yourself if you even care. You shouldn't. It's not your fault, you've been trying as hard as you can, so you shouldn't care. Not if they're going to act like that.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

You will believe a completely rediculous hoax about a computer virus today, and everyone will tease you mercilessly.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

Good day to get into the groove. Be groovy. Try saying that out loud. Go on... groovy groovy groovy! Oh yeah! Tomorrow: being hep-cat-daddy-o.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Your neighbor thinks his dog is so smart, it's starting to bug you. The thing to do is cover a book with a book cover that says "Quantum Physics for Dogs", and train your dog to lay next to it, along a pad of paper covered with scribbled equations and a chewed-on pencil...

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

This may be a good time to take up squid farming. Provided that you can figure out what type of hat to wear, that is.

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