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Thursday, May 07, 07:49:48am [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4] ]

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Date Posted: 03/30/04 9:08:03pm
Author: Mark Timms
Subject: Re: Sure Fire Mosquito Repellant
In reply to: Patrick Brown 's message, "Sure Fire Mosquito Repellant" on 03/19/04 7:41:22am

Boys:

I tried this out and can attest that it works. I bit off the heads of a whole box of matches and when I belched I fried every mosquito within 30 feet.

At Mansfield, the following safety procedures will be strictly observed:

1) Only period correct matches are to be consumed. Matches are to be contained in tins and will be inspected.

2) While in column, match consumption will be limited to the front rank, or the rear rank when facing to the rear, but under no circumstances when loaded.

2) Belching will only be executed on command. No double matchbooks loads will be permitted.

4) Rear ranks must step far to the right and forward to ensure that their chins clear the right shoulder of the front file. Extreme caution is to be observed for oblique belches.

5) UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE ARE MATCHES TO BE INSERTED UP THE RECTUM, MOST NOTABLY WHEN SPOONING.

By order of the Captain,

Ordinance Sergeant Timms



3)
>Gents,
>This is an old SF mosquito repellant that I've found
>to be VERY effective. It doesn't always work
>perfectly for everyone (body chemestry and all that),
>but it's sure worked for me everywhere from Alaska to
>the southwestern Pacific (where the mosquitoes were as
>big as pidgeons).
>
>Starting a week or two before the event(in other
>words, now), two or three times a day, bite off the
>head of a regular old cardboard match and swallow it.
>Don't chew it. It tastes nasty. As your body digests
>the match head there's sometihng in the compound that
>your body will assimilate and will come out of your
>pores that the little biggers seem to hate. Don't ask
>me how it works, it just does.
>
>Cheers.
>
>PB

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